on the marble platform
there's a crowd
whose eyes refuse to meet yours
clouds coming in fast
people pretend they're surprised
to seem like they had no part
words escape you
or is it the other way around

I'm not paying attention
I'm only starting to learn how
I bring two books around to read
but don't understand a word
I let my eyes roam over the text

she stood
like a tree
with bright yellow flowers
amid the grey buildings and smog

stopping me in my travels,
I had to thank her
for simply being there

I only loved you
because I loved me
and knew that I deserved someone as great as you
despite the gap
despite not actually knowing, you
but with the parts that I do
I hope to meet someone like you

I dreamt
that everywhere I looked
was this black scary thing
and I couldn't move
or look away
without it appearing

wondering where it came from
I decided to look directly at it
although it terrified me
I knew it was necessary

hoping
that with putting more out than in
I'll be able to pull out all the lumps in my throat
that I've swallowed to put away
and reveal this hot and sticky grey mass
that has been making my insides hurt
and feel
lighter

and when I feel like writing, I feel like crying
because the words do not come out
but when they do, I write from what I think is my heart
on a pad paper I
lose my train of thought
I wait on the seats for the next
perhaps it's too bright
perhaps I've been in my head all day
that it wants me out