I fidget with my rings; sometimes get surprised that one ring has found its way to another finger. I return it to its original place and wonder where my mind has been.

When I'm forced to be in one place, I look for ways to stretch the limits. If I get a two hour break, I'm spending it at the park and ignoring notifications all 120 minutes of it. I eat my lunch while working.

On days like this I wonder how I've managed to do this at all.

did i dream of you?
i don't remember
but i might as well have

Im walking down the street
But im not just walking down the street
Im thinking nonstop of everything i see
And not just everything i see

The moon, and how its cheerier than it was the last time
I see the distance from where i stand and the place i want to be
And i think, breathe,
Nothing is so exciting you must be there at once

And so i walk
And my mind does not know how to walk in silence
So i walk thinking
I acknowledge this feeling of restlessness

My mind is so filled up it could burst
And honestly i wish it would
I dont mind thoughts dripping down my temple in its aftermath
I dont mind

in your presence
I already felt the opposite
which, in hindsight
explains the tears that I couldn't

three bags on top of the pile of laundry in the cardboard box in my mind
for whatever reason, they each have at least one of my things.
I don't feel like putting them away.
I choose to drink lukewarm water
but refuse to wash the dishes right away.
oh well
I'll always remember this time as the time
I wrote the most

when I remember you, it feels strange.
a feeling of still being in it. as if I never left.
or maybe I was never there
and this everpresent feeling is a feeling of nostalgia
for something that never was.

I'll write anything just to say I've done better things with my time. But really, I'm just passing time 'til it is for sleep. then when it comes, I stall. It's a weird one, this phase I'm in. I'm listening to songs I've never heard before, ones that make me think of old detective movies. or movies with space ships. Old, too. Maybe staring at the ceiling of my bunk would be of more consequentiality.