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 Nov 2013 Lame Poet
berry
words
 Nov 2013 Lame Poet
berry
words. offered last-minute from thin-air and handed off heavy-hearted. words. nights spent sleepless and throats filled with sand & secrets and fingernails blackened by scratching away at the excess and unnecessary. words. all they do is **** me off because i can't use them right and i find myself drowning in recycled metaphors and romanticized abstract thoughts that have been regurgitated from a hundred different mouths and audaciously labeled as poetry. but i am not a poet, at least not a good one, in fact i can't stand most of my writing but i still try. because words, are the only way i can get the myriad of ideas inside my head to make some kind of sense but they're hardly worth a dollar so that's probably why i'm always broke. words. i learned to read them at five and i thought that was impressive but nowadays children half that age are already doing that, so i guess i'm not that special. but words, at times my only friend and often my greatest enemy, have the power to reduce crowds of thousands to tears and according to the book on my father's bedside table they once parted a sea. words can change a world. but they can be weapons of unfathomable destruction. it was words, that made me think i was ugly. words i longed to hear but never did drove me to starve for affirmation from the opposite ***. words on magazines told me what i needed to be and told me nobody would want me if i didn't comply. so it was words that made me stop eating, but not for long, because i am lucky enough that my love of food overpowers the hatred i have for my body. words made me tear my skin to shreds in the still of the night because they somehow managed to crawl beneath it without ever having actually entered in through my ears. words can either give life or they can take it. words are sticks and heavy stones and swords and we're taught that they can't break your bones but tell that to the first generation to have anti-bullying laws enacted because of nooses around necks and bullets through brains and blades on wrists all caused by words. so i urge you to craft your words with care and let them be like summer breezes upon the ears you speak them to. let your words be bandaids and hot air balloons instead of daggers and eulogies. speak like honeysuckle not wisteria. words are vines that wrap themselves around and consume whomever they have been said to. people can have memories shockingly resemblant to pachyderms so be aware that your words can live on like ghosts long after you thought they would have died. words are oceans upon which people can either float or sink below, and you are the decider.

- m.f.
 Oct 2013 Lame Poet
berry
i don't want to smell alcohol
on your breath when you kiss me,
i want to taste the hours that you waited
and to feel how much you missed me.

i don't want to breathe in smoke
when i bury my face into your chest,
i want to hear your barely-beating heart
and feel it pulsate in the warmth of your flesh.

i don't want to see the moon & stars
swirl like diamonds against the onyx sky,
unless i can do so in the comfort of your arms
and have your fingers interwoven with mine.

i don't even want my morning coffee
unless you're the one that brings it to me,
having learned to make it just the way i like it
and committed my preferences to your memory.

i don't want sunrises or sunsets
if i can't watch them dance upon your skin,
or love you between dove-white sheets
on saturday mornings at half-past ten.

i don't want to see the day i become old & grey
an early grave i would sooner invite,
than to live to greet old age without you
by my side to guide me into eternal night.

- m.f.
 Oct 2013 Lame Poet
berry
for my mother*

the lioness is both a fierce protector
and a gentle nurturer

nothing escapes the gaze of her amber eyes
but she seldom feels the need to roar

she hunts with unmatched precision
but still has the patience to teach, and work with others

she understands her role in her pride
but is never proud

she possesses unparalleled strength
as well as the wisdom to know when to use it

she won't  hesitate to grab her cub by the scruff of its neck
to keep it out of harms way

she is more than capable of working alone
but understands the importance of community

she never loses her spirit of playfulness
and her primary habitat is in the grasslands of Africa

but there are some things about the lioness
that you can't learn about by reading

she will wait up for you, when you're out past curfew
just to make sure that you get home safely

she will always be a listening ear
but she will never judge you

she loves others without condition
but knows better than to feel before she thinks

she will encourage you ceaselessly
and tell you you're more than good enough

this lioness, of which i speak
has not claws, nor tail, nor fangs, nor paws

but she is far more powerful
than any jungle cat could ever hope to be

- m.f.
 Oct 2013 Lame Poet
Kim Davis
Ekard was a second attempt at attention
a second attempt to regain happiness
childhood
but not childhood
but a state of in between
Ekard was the voodoo doll that doubled as a voodoo prince
a puppeteer of a puppet, but a puppet for another puppeteer
he skated his way around everything
befriended everyone
manipulated everyone
became known
so known that his puppeteer
a mere child
collapsed herself under his name
some days she would praise it,
you should be friends with Ekard! He's the greatest.
others she could mock it,
he's a ****, don't talk to him!
she would string his name along into false promises
in order to manipulate her friends in real life into needing her
and in the process lost every ounce of respect that was had for her
because someone saw the trick
the strings ekard was laced on
didnt confront, but knew
everyone knew but couldnt say
and the kid gave up on ekard
blamed him for not being good enough to win gratitude of her friends and of strangers
but ekard was not only the puppeteer of his victims, his 'friends'
he had strings on the girl too
a defense mechanism
and he furthered her emotional instability,
showing her real attention
and that one can trick several people at once
that there was more than just facebook
stringed her mind into believing
that ekard was no longer some toy to play with
ekard was the real man
ekard was more than she was at this point
he had stories she'd woven and he performed,
he made her feel the sadness in these stories that didnt actually happen
made her connect to him spiritually
created drama for her as she did for him,
and eventually it all became so much that neither of them could stand it
he foiled his plot to destroy her
and she killed him
he was a vegetable
he existed only for closure and around his 'birthday'
but the rest of the year he was dead
she no longer felt his pain
felt the need to take care of his ego
all was done
everyone knew
and she was over with her scheme
but she was bored without her toys
and she devised a new one,
less active than Ekard, more than Elyk,
Ralyks.
What she didn't know, though, is that this new toy,
something so simple at first,
became an emporium of personalities,
later overbearing her, tearing from her the life she had left for those in real life.
Her new toy and her were one.
And that person, favoring manipulation and destruction, collapsed under what it'd come to be so fond of.
 Oct 2013 Lame Poet
berry
E.
 Oct 2013 Lame Poet
berry
E.
E,

  i don't know if this is a letter or a rant or just a bunch of mixed up thoughts that i've been keeping in my head for far too long - so i'm just going to ramble for a bit. i firstly want to say, i would have loved you so well, and for a while that fact haunted me to the point i lost sleep and the desire to eat. i'm better now. i'm better than i've been in a long time. and i don't blame you even a little bit for all the things i chose to do to by my own hands. but for a really long time, i was angry at you for leaving me. that's as simply as i can possibly put it. just, angry. so angry. you came out of nowhere - and swept me up into the most intense whirlwind of emotions i had ever experienced in my nineteen years of life - and then, just as swiftly as you entered in, you departed, leaving me with not much more than feeble lines like, "it's for the best" and "i'm so sorry". i was very angry, and even more so confused. i think the problem was that you thought i would fix you or complete you or give you a purpose or something - i don't know. maybe none of that's correct. like i said, i don't know. (there are lots of things i think, but few i know).

  you nearly loved me (i say nearly because we never quite got that far). i seemed to be your answer; or some kind of beacon that maybe you thought could be a guide. but the moment my cracks started to show, i think it scared you. i don't think you had ever loved a sad girl. or maybe you loved a sad girl and she hurt you. (i don't know). all i know is that i tried to talk about the train, and you told me no. i wanted to tell you about the things in my head and what they wanted me to do, but as soon as i tried, i was met with, "don't be stupid." i understand that you didn't. as much as it hurt. i think what made me angriest was your initial reassurance that you were different and you were staying. i knew better than to put faith in promises formed by hands of human flesh, but i had a lot of hope. so like i said, i don't blame you. and i've grown a lot since that time. i'm learning more about myself every day, and it's easier now to keep my head above the waves.  i do not resent you for your inability to stay.

  i think that if i had tried to write this all those months ago when my wounds were still fresh, i wouldn't have been as composed as i like to think i'm being now. i'm actually sitting here, as i type, thinking how ridiculous i'll feel if this entire thing is off and i've misread it all. but anyway, this isn't necessarily something i need you to read. but should you choose to, or maybe someday stumble across it, i hope that you understand. and i hope life treats you well.

warmth,
- m.f.
When the sun sank low in the midday sky
And the clouds came in from the south,
He knew that the winter was coming in
And it made him down in the mouth.
With a hint of rain in the morning dew
The breeze cut in like a knife,
And he went to fetch the firewood in
For the sake of his invalid wife.

She sat and shivered before the hearth
When he opened the outer door,
As the wind whipped icily round her legs
A trail of leaves on the floor,
‘My love, be still, I’m lighting the fire
And you’ll soon be warm by the hearth.’
‘I fear it’s settling into my bones
And I’ll soon be deep in the earth.’

‘You’ll not get away so easily,’
He said, and gave her a smile,
‘We’ll settle this ague with bark and tea,
I’ll heat your bath in a while.’
‘I’d rather not leave the fireplace
While my thoughts are making me brood,
So put your spill to the wood fire, Will,
Then sit, and lighten my mood.’

He lit the fire and he made it roar
And he checked each draught, at last,
Jammed the rug right under the door
And he made the windows fast,
Then he sat and held his Helen’s hand
That was freezing to the touch,
And said, ‘Now winter’s sat on the land
I needn’t go out so much!’

She smiled, and ran a hand through his hair
And said that she loved him so,
‘Tell me a tale of foreign lands,
It will help the time to go.’
So he plucked a single hair from his head
And he said, ‘Each hair’s a tale!’
Then he told of sailors swinging the lead,
Of mariners under sail.

He told of pirates, walking the plank
Of treasure chests in the deep,
And saw that she was slumbering there,
Was slowly going to sleep,
He sat beside her all through the night,
Was piling wood on the fire,
And nodded off in the broad daylight
Right next to his heart’s desire.

The squalls came in, it began to rain
And the rain then turned to snow,
He only went out to chop some wood
And to make the cabin glow.
Each night he’d sit there, holding her hand
And he’d pluck a hair from his head,
‘Now here’s a tale from a northern land
Where the snow lies deep,’ he said.

He thought that she’d get better in time
And he brought her gruel and soup,
Fed her a tincture of laudanum
Made from the ***** group.
But she still sat listless, pale and wan
And she slept more than she woke,
Though he plucked a hair from his head each night
And he whispered as he spoke.

He spoke of the place that lovers go
Away from the world of cares,
Of bubbling springs, and diamond rings
And a love that everyone shares,
But the snow outside was packed in a drift
Right up and over the door,
He couldn’t get out for the firewood
But shivered, asleep on the floor.

He woke next day when the sky was grey
With the cold set deep in his bones,
And looked at his wife in a mute dismay
For he knew that he was alone.
The undertaker was there by ten
With a coffin as cold as ice,
And he wept as he plucked a hair from his head
And wished her in paradise.

They buried her down in the cemetery
Not far from their cabin home,
And every day he would make his way
To her headstone, on his own.
The snow had finally melted when
They found he was there, stone dead,
Draped all over her headstone, but
There wasn’t a hair on his head.

David Lewis Paget
It was a bit strange. At first I told myself it was a dream. But as it progressed, I couldn't help but think different. It felt so real and my senses seemed magnified. Being the curious cat I am, exploring didn't sound like a bad idea. But then it was sounds that started to change everything. Most of them were clear voices, others mere whispers. Then rustling in the bushes and crackling leaves. I tried to see where the noise was coming from, but the fog was too thick and heavy. It almost felt like gravity had a helping hand. A note was quickly made to myself after catching a glimpse of the ground. Honestly, it was the only reminder to me this was just a dream. As the voices drew closer though, the strange dream shape shifted to an intense nightmare. Clouds swirled in circles, trees bent over backwards, whirlwinds began raking up leaves into barriers around me. And then...It stopped. Everything just stopped. That scared me the most though.My brain argued back and forth with my legs until something else made a decision. I still can't describe it but something was there. I felt it getting ready to strike like a cobra. No feeling in my body could have predicted what happened next..I was pulled to the ground by my leg landing on my back, frantically searching for the culprit, thrashing my arms around for a tree, a bush, roots. Anything to keep me grounded. My failed attempts were made obvious when, still by my leg, I was lifted into the air. And that moment, when in a vortex of leaves, sticks, animal carcasses, I caught a glimpse of the ground again. Being upside down, I was looking up at the still distorted ground. But looking down at the sky, everything was clear...focused. So I relaxed, and let myself fall into it, and woke up. Inspired.
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