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A  molecule  of  yours entered in me
And  i  changed  as  never before…..
All my beliefs   in past
all  I encountered until then
and all the notions I had
altered  my outlook in life!
I wondered once  atleast
if  such  a small molecule
In an   invisible   mode
is   gifted to make wonders
in me   with  such  pace
is  it a miracle or a blessing!
Everything   changed   then on
eruptions within me showing up
emotions  of  disgruntled mind
eroding   my  sensibility  too !
My heart   transforming  with
mind-blowing  thoughts  
with only  love  at its core
wanting to explore  newer  path!
If a molecule   can do  that
I wonder otherwise   what could  be ?

Looking back
               heart ponders over the past
which rolled over
            year after year fleeing fast
the playful days
and  months  and years…
i remember  those years
in  joyful  tears  !

Oh! how i wonder  
with an aching heart
would the dreamy days
of the  youthful  past
lingering on me  every starry night
return to me ever bright !

Looking  ahead  
i fear what’s foretold
And i pray the days  
never  to be rolled
fleeing fast in months  and years
for i know yester years weren’t of fears !!
                    
With a broken wrist
on my right hand
due to a  fall at a litfest in city
I staggered  back on a Sunday noon
swelling, pain  and fear ,
helpless to do anything...
then consultation, x’ray, surgery,
implant inside with a stout bandage,
a sling  to announce my incapacity
as   my bank balance drained.
dependency  for  every small thing....
shattered and desperate i sit .
not used  for a such  a state
my  mind  raising to tempers
whole personality changed
to irritation  seeking  loneliness.
and  as  mind  was  calm once
my left is fine it dawned...
my  memory clicked  pictures
of children and others , with no hands
at birth or mutated  due to  mishap ;
browsing  the internet on laptop
got inspired;  my left hand fingers  started  
typing on keyboard  slowly and  wrongly
determination helped speed with no mistakes  
and  after sixty days my first  left handed poem
I dedicate to   all those with various disabilities;
and  surgeons, assistants and nurses,
others  who helped  to cope up in hospital bed
and  family and friends kind enough to care
with constant  dos and donts  as i move around -
now with an arm band and a  smile on my face!
...........................................................­.................
My sorrow is  not glorious
My pain is not public
sorrow  stays in
pain  weeps ;
feelings swing  
fears mushroom
eyes swell up
vision dims;
tears dry up
thoughts wander
mind clouds
moods mull;
words clutter
heart throbs
vacuum engulfs
silence  lingers;
My sorrow is hidden
My pain is private
Its  all of  love
Its all of parting;
no meeting
no message
no contact
no chitchat;
Clock  reminds
Dusk  recalls
memories surge
heart   lumbers;
Heaving seas
twilight afar
nights shimmer
Loneliness bog down !

My sorrow is  not glorious
My pain is not public
sorrow  stays in
pain  weeps ;
feelings swing  
fears mushroom
eyes swell up
vision dims;
tears dry up
thoughts wander
mind clouds
moods mull;
words clutter
heart throbs
vacuum engulfs
silence  lingers;
My sorrow is hidden
My pain is private
Its  all of  love
Its all of parting;
no meeting
no message
no contact
no chitchat;
clock  reminds
Dusk  recalls
memories surge
heart   lumbers;
Heaving seas
twilight afar
nights shimmer
Loneliness bog down !

The days pass on fast
memories remain steadfast
to the empty times ahead
they stand as pillars hard

There are weakening moments
flashbacks drive out those moments
awareness eases the burden
memories become sweeter then…

The disheartened soul becomes sick
instances of past raises the memory’s wick
surroundings swiftly turn brighter
memories help  nurture character

Life becomes worthy to live on
Hope becomes ladder to climb on
Wishes become horses to ride on
Memories become anchor to hold on…

Morning, good morning!
What a pleasant feeling.
Look out of your window sill
Birds chirping down hill
Rising Sun’s   warmness  
with an aura of happiness
Dewdrops on rose petals
Moisture on flower beds
Lanes with damp mud roads
Children waiting with bookloads
Men with their tools to workshop
Women with their bags to shop
Each in thoughts of their chores
Or in groups musing at jokes.

As  the clock’s hands move forward
with the moving Sun overhead
Look out of  your window sill
watch the changes downhill
All energy withered in heat
Life slows down in many a feat
The splendour of dawn faded
As the brightness of light invaded
No musings or jokes on road
None could stand the heat to hold
The empty lanes appear  haunted  
Silence pervading   unhindered.

Look out of your window sill
Watch  the  Sun’s glare  going still
If  you enjoyed  the  day’s siesta
It’s a great  blessing after the Fiesta
The evening’s glow  at your doorstep
Spreading delight  at each footstep
Look around for the actions of mankind
Adept in their chosen courses behind
With all the lives on earth in the swings
Singing the glory of Almighty on the wings
Oh! What a colourful day to consider
With lovely thoughts of you to ponder!


Thy  beauty  and splendor
Awes  my   spirit
Jealousy creeps in slowly…

Memories of old  love days  
Awakens  the  inner  soul
Heart sighs painfully…
And I wonder,  What’ll I do to
Leave as token for my eternal love
                 *
The setting Sun  in the horizon yet
slowly readying to dip in deep waters
crimson sky with wonderful hallow
birds flying  fast to their abodes
Young boys and girls splashing  water  
Playing throw ball and jumping
and  tucking under high waves  
some swimming in the murky sea,
their loud laughter filling the beach
with joyful  abandonment.

Grand parents driving in  horse carts
youngsters riding fast on horse backs
Camels with  small families on their mounts
Guided by their owners with a whip in hand  
small children building sand castles  
parents overlooking  their activities
and clicking photos  in mobiles
yes,  a Sunday evening to beat the heat
I sat guarding the baggage of my family
Watching all the fun, enjoying  the sea breeze,
with  peanuts in hand, waiting for them  to return.

Suddenly there were shrieks of  people
Children  running  around  and
people  rushing to gather them
calling out their dear ones.
when rain drops fell on my head and face
soaking wet  my shoulders with chillness  
I realized what’s the commotion is all about.

The beach wore a special look all of a sudden  
with a veil of pouring rain …
The fading sunset painted the crimson horizon
With patches of dark clouds decorating the sky
Like ******* beads dangling with pearldrops  
jingling the arena with sounds of joyous music
The sudden downpour filled the air with
Innumerable smell s- stench of fish water
Scents from the crowd, smell from eatable shops
Stink of horse, camel dung, dog **** and trash!

I gathered the baggage trying to protect them
within my arms and covering with  my dress  
running towards a nearby shelter at a shop
turning to see if any one rushed to help me
But the first rain drops mesmerizing them
they forgot me  and their belongings
Dancing and hugging in the first rain,
They were in a joyful world of laughter!

When the seed of  enmity is sown…
Shocked mind dawdles  
    Anger takes its  seat
Startled brain malfunctions
   Germ of jealousy sets in
Pained heart  cries
   Hatred  straps  relations
Interest  fades away
   Vengeance  creeps in
Zeal dies away  
   Cunningness takes its position
Curiosity  passes off  
    Disillusionment  walks in
Passion loses identity
     Rivalry  spoils  relation
Keenness  to knowledge dwindles
     Harsh words  have no wisdom
Actions  become meaningless
    Despair leads to madness…

When the seed of love is scattered …
Words gain  wisdom
   Compassion binds the relation
Spirit of pride looks up  
    Actions have aim
Friendship and brotherhood grows
    Zeal and passion intensify
Progeny adds value to life
    Parentage gets importance.
Everything around looks colorful
  Life becomes meaningful…

So its for you and me to decide
Which seed to be chosen  ….
Seed of enmity or love
To make life worthy to live …

In no mood now
to think of anything ....
In search  of  silence
and   lonliness in dark ...
It’s  a big vacuum
gushing  inside
like  a big wave
gulping everything
erasing  everything
and  then its just a  vast
space of   ugliness ...
darkness enveloping
all around   silently
covering  all filth...  
All good  thoughts  
All bad memories
washed   in tears
soaking  the  pillow
with  grunt and hurt
every night  brings
fears  and  angst
with no hope of
a better morrow. ..

The sea  was full and  angry
waves   sweeping the shores,
bathing the sand and stones
rushing  like gleeful children .
I ask  the waters  why this  sudden flow
Echoes of waves  still prattle in the ears
Pessimist in me unable to digest the reproach
my thoughts  ponder over the  truth.
As waves and  tides  swallow the  shores yet again
children, men, women ,   buildings ashore
disappear curiously in galloping speed
crushing man’s dreams  with demonic  fear .

Huge  concrete structures  cropped up
Invading  sea’s bay,   shrinking it  in years
Home of waters   populated   with human lives
and the wrath of  seas  grew  steadily;
The  repeated  floods and drought signal
the curse and devilish thought of the deep waters
when Man  greedily encroaches  the home of waters  
for his own survival  and lifestyle .
Ignoring the  need of  sea  to flow  at  its will
or invading its banks, ignites the wrath of  waters  
Tides and  waves of  the sea   Rightfully  fight and destroy
the enemy when  its home is  encroached  or  invaded  !  

I am here all silent and stunned  
watching the happenings  around
unaware what’s going on
baffled by  tricky words of people
jostled  left, right and centre
awkwardness writ on my face
shame lingering all over me
yet, silent  to react  to the core!
B’cause I don’t know  yet
whats all this noise about
or what really happened
that I am picked for taking
all the outburst with  
vengeance and  ***** swears ..
.
While walking along footpath
a yellow clad figure of my size ran past
disappearing at the blink of eyes and
I turned around hearing all the noises
to be captured  and hurled
by a maddening crowd  with
stones pelting and sticks raised all over me !
I am  lying here all silent  and stifled
unable to  move or utter a word ;
I figured it as chain snatching
knocking down an old lady.
In  my  half conscious daze I realised
I was clad in yellow and that’s it!

— The End —