Excuse me,
but sometimes my teeth feel tight
as if the space between weren’t space enough
It’s not,
It never is at night.
Excuse me for speaking freely
but I think I’ve earned the right.
I think
I’ve earned the right


Let’s just be honest here.
Let me just tell the truth for once
More often than not, I feel confused.

I grow impatient,
when my phone doesn’t ring,
when your name begins to sound far away,
but I won’t ever call you
and even speaking about you makes me feel *****,
like my tongue just finished tracing the some rotten peach fuzz.

(I’m allergic to pit-fruits but I love the taste,
I love
when the juice falls from my lips
then my skin turns red and I itch.
It makes me feel special
but then again I’m stupid)

Don’t spit in the left-over soup.
Oh but I do
Don’t bite the hand that feeds.
Oh but I do

I’ve got two plants in my room
but I can’t bring myself to
water them.
I just leave them under the sun,
hoping they’ll stay green
and grow.
It wasn’t me who put them there to begin with
so don’t act as if it’s my fault when they die.

I ask myself, aloud,
then silently
over and over
why can I not walk down the stairs,
why can I not check the mailbox,
why is that bottle of milk you bought
still rotting alone in my fridge?

I’m not responsible if I didn’t act
but nothing occurs if I don’t.

Christ, I curse myself.
Be a woman,
not a girl,
Go, go out in the world
and stop living in your head.

You were left open
dusty, a bit tattered
like a book that has
perhaps,
spent too many days
on some forgotten shelf

I like to think
I was gentle

I like to think
I made an effort

I swallowed
what I could
& fell 5 stories to your spine


Could you feel my hands
trembling
as I turned the page ?

Perhaps,
I skipped to the end.

I certainly missed
the ******,
and never got the plot

Oh but I feel regret
for my impatience

You slammed shut.
I had papercuts
on the tips of my fingers


Somehow,
despite the words on pages,
the volumes read,
I feel only ever illiterate

on a scale of one to one-hundred,
no, one to one-thousand,
your lips tasted like cinnamon
Brought heavy feelings below my waist
til I thought I just might explode
Call orange the new numerals
and red the better alphabet
say A B C then 1 2 3
sickly sticky and sweet
Doughy flesh that melts in summer heat
How many moments does it take
to burn pasta on the stove ?
Enough for me to get up and watch you go
Run

I dreamt
& in this dream,
I was happy.

Rivers flowed,
& the magnetic
poles of the earth
were not switching

Things were calm.

I should have known
a storm was afoot.

I dreamt
& in this dream,
you appeared.

Pinching me
at the waist
as you always did.

With those shining white
American teeth.
& those laughing eyes
Laughing, smoking, complaining.

Come back to me
Come back to me


You made me want to swim upstream
despite having already smoothed over
one hundred thousand river rocks.

I dreamt
& in this dream
we were happy.

It was but a dream, I know

If the world weren’t divided
by the East and the West,
I’d be able to tell you that
my love was endless
Like habitual summer rains
that eclipse the afternoon sky

Maybe I’d be more a storm
and less a drizzle
Maybe I’d rattle your windows
and leak in through the roof
But I’m forever collecting as drops
as the morning dew does year-round

But as the world turns
So does my mind
And I wouldn’t ask for it to halt
I wouldn’t dare to ask

Oh this felt-lined heart,
with all that cotton bloom filling
maybe I’ve grown some soft once again

In time, the mossy dank dark
shrunk as if the sun exploded
& chased down its rentless rays

Think of the hands of the clock
Thinking of his hands
& all that empty tenderness

The thing about exploding
is that no one puts you back together
& ragdoll courage will be all you’ve got