On a Sunday afternoon, in the city,
I sat on your porch watching,
a panicked papillon dance about
(that means butterfly in French, boo)

You were running back & forth
Smiling, slamming doors & saying
it’s hot, but I sweat through
& I said, good ‘cause I like *****


So you ride your bike & keep a garden
but you don’t put your money in the bank
& I think that’s quite foolish
what about inflation my dear?

so you love cheese but you don’t drink milk
& you won’t ever fall in love
because you reckon you’d get too fed-up
with their complexities & mazes

well me neither I said, but
you stole those words from my mouth
& I have a hard time believing you
when “baby" seems to be your favorite word

You’re always saying the things I expect
& it’s what I’ve always wanted to hear
yet the simplicity is suffocating
& I’m somehow just as easy as you

& last night, when we were lying
in your room, on a bare mattress
Under the heat, I wondered if the words
pathetic,easy & empty circled your mind too

I wondered if you wondered why
we were already using terms of endearment,
why they came without effort or care, or
why we laugh & lock eyes in a week’s time

And you said you never sang aloud,
but in a moment I heard your voice tracing lyrics
& I said that’s really quite sad
& you said it’s only emotions; count yourself among the few

What an honor, what a privilege
I thought maybe we’re both lying to ourselves
& maybe you feel kinda lonely too
only because I’ve said the same before

You said I noticed that you
don’t listen to me when I speak
but then again you’re always telling stories
and I am but a woman & you are but a man

I thought I’d want to touch your feet
You reached out to hold my hand
But there’ll be distance to maintain &
I know better than to get any closer

We split asleep, turning our backs
towards mirroring walls, space enough
I dreamt I lost a lung & when I awoke
we were tangled up like ivy on ruins

This paradox ****** my mind
& I’ve been silent ever since I left you,
standing on the sidewalk
with cold coffee in your hands

*When do you leave, again?
Soon, soon enough.
Good, good, get excited.
The city is melting but I’ll see you soon

she spoke softly,
in a low growling whisper,
dripping with the twang
of a proper young lady,

her hands folded,
neatly in her lap,
clutching one another
with a white-knuckle grip...

She held her head heavily,
like that of a neglected orchid,
as she said, rather composedly,
"I'll hear nothing of that"

The way things were when
sunlight started to terrorize the morning
and then eventually, the evening sky.
My chest thumped at a glacial pace.
A slow hibernating thaw.
Those days I slept quite easily
whilst my mind ran away with the time.
Taking time with clowns & thieves alike.
Sponges indeed, sponges after all.
You crept in one night, hanging moons beneath your eyes.
I had exploded.
I closed.
On the loom, black lace then white cotton.
In my room, a screaming then a humming.
Cigarettes scattered the floor like sacrifices to some distant deity.
Who must have heard my prayers.
Something about all your silence
threw blankets on my lungs
and off my bed.
In your youth,
I feel soft.
Joy, I want more

I dreamt it was one o’clock,
and  that you loved me.
I dreamt there were people
in empty streets, then sheets,
tasting one another as if
the twirling world
had come to a halt.

une semaine serpentine,

des pommes empoisonnées pendent d’un arbre perché,

j’en ai mangé jusqu’à la rupture,

et puis sept soleils sont morts, l’un après l’autre,

mais l’horloge ne s’en est pas rendu compte

et depuis

des poussières ont envahi ma poitrine,

ce qu’il y avait avant, je ne sais plus,

mais je n’arrive plus respirer …

mes poumons sont gonflées par une fumée noire

pendant qu’une brume funèbre m’enveloppe le cerveau

et ces jours-ci je n’avale que mes larmes

peut-être ….

quand je ne serai plus qu’un squelette,

je pourrai disparaître en toute tranquillité

de cette terre étrange

où les bêtes parlent à l’envers dans une langue inconnue

entre-temps, j’avale la mienne dans l’espoir de m’étouffer

d’où vient l’homme primordial

d’où vient cette femme lâche

******* has no calories

yet it keeps you from dreams

& sometimes i feel that i may never fall asleep

& other times, I feel that I may never awake