Sometimes I sit at home
And listen to the music you gifted me
Sometimes I wonder
What could have been
Sometimes I look in the mirror and wonder how you’re doing
If you’re happier
If she’s better than I was
I’m happy, I really am
But sometimes I wonder

I need out
I'm sorry
forgive me

I've been hurting for a while now
As much as I try, I cannot forget you

It'***** me now, that I never really moved on
I dated many others
But I was never fully there
I broke things off
because I didn't feel that spark

the spark I had with you

I’m crying
Crying so hard it hurts and I’m laughing
Because this was my fault
The reason I ended up here is me
It’s all because of me
Tears drip down my cheeks
My body shaking from the tremors that course through me
I can’t control myself
Out of control
Too many tears
I’m drowning in them
I can’t breathe
Help me

i carve an x
over my heart
to remind myself
not to let anyone in
because the last time i did
my heart was crushed
so now
my heart is wrapped up
in caution tape
holding it together
and keeping out
the people who care
but nobody cares
so it's just there for the sake of
reminding myself
that my heart is too easily broken
to delicate
for this world
so i'll try to escape
even just for a little while
but i will always return
to painful reality
when my arms are ******
and I'm fading out

my chest is getting tight
the walls are closing in
my whole body is shaking
i wish i could die
i can't breathe
i can't think straight
    i need to get out
i need to get out
help.

people say things
without thinking
and they finish
all of their sentences with
just kidding
and they may think
nothing of it
but whatever they say
finds a way
to haunt my thoughts
for days on end
because the things they say
get under my skin
and they never leave

i wish
that i had
somebody to hold me

hold me as i
Cried and
Screamed
after being
Jolted awake
from the latest Terror
that my Mind
had dreamed up

We don't even need to Touch
you just need to be There
There, to keep the Scissors in the drawer
There, to keep the Pills in the cupboard

just There
to Listen

Two days
Until I see you again
Is it bad that that’s all
I can think about?
I cannot wait to have you in my arms
To run my fingers
Through your hair
As I tell you for the thousandth time
I love you

the moment
i've imagined it many times
someone walks in
startles at my body
slumped
on the bathroom floor
blood
on my wrists
on the floor too
finally free
from this world
i call home
someone calls my mother
she breaks down in tears
wondering why her little girl
has decided
to disappear
when will i muster up the courage
to carry it out
what will finally push me over the edge
who knows
but i promise
when it happens
i'll be ready
to commit
to my decisions
maybe i'll jump off a bridge
or in front of a bus
maybe i'll hang
or maybe just drown
maybe i'll use poison
or maybe starve myself
maybe i'll simply down pill after pill after pill
until i pass out
who knows
only i will
until the time...
that moment arrives

until the time...
that i'm ready
to die

i love you
that's all there is to say
you stand by me
when i need it
and i will always do the same

you keep me sane
and when the darkness comes
i can think of you
and everything you've ever said to me
and how your hugs feel like home

i have trust issues
i'll be slow to open up
memories and feelings
held under lock and key
but i have faith
that you might crack my code
the enigmas that are my emotions
may be no problem for you to solve

love
is a fickle thing
something treasured by you and me
but i think it will thrive
when and if
cared for properly

Words hurt
and the Proof
Lies on
my Wrists

you have my heart
in your hands
so i beg of you
be careful

i have trusted you
with my love
and that is not something
i do often

so please
treat my heart gently
as i am fragile
too easily broken
by the world and it's contents

be careful
and i will love
unconditionally

cryptic poems
shared playlists
when will this end?

worn down
I'm so tired
of living
of existing
I want to die
let me die
but let me die
knowing you love me

the girl who loves you
she's so much prettier than me
she's much more stable than me
she's better than me
I will never be enough
you're too amazing
and I could never be what you need
or what you want
I'm worth nothing
I don't deserve to be loved

I loved what we had,
but here's the thing,
I only want it with you

I need someone
I feel so isolated
torn away from the one I care about
I want to see you so badly
I miss you so much it hurts
let me hear you
let me know someone is there
please

I'd hoped our love would last
I suppose I was wrong
now you've found someone else
I'm glad you're moving on

go ahead and forget me
I really don't mind
I'm glad if you're happy
so please enjoy your new life

it makes me a bit sad
to see you've found someone better that me
but you seem happier
so that's good, I suppose

when i was younger
i thought that when i was older
i would stay out and party all night
who could have known
that instead
in the middle of the night
i'd be crying hysterically
because of my nightmares
debating whether to take my life
or not