Blood drips down my arms
I’m drowning myself in my sorrows
Or rather, blood
Sitting in the bath
Crying from a combination of the pain
Of this
And of what went on today
Too much happened
I can’t handle it
I’m a complete emotional wreck
It’s no wonder nobody wants me
So I wonder
Could I just
Disappear
Would someone notice?
Or would the world go on
Everyone hurting everyone else
As nobody realizes the pain they are causing until it’s too late
Until they lose someone and it’s my fault
Until something happens and I am filled with so much regret
I can’t handle this
I can’t handle life
Why?

It’s the longest day of the year
I spent my whole day
Thinking about you

a dull ache
I know what this is
this is hunger
hunger is good, in my mind
hunger means you are closer to pretty
closer to thin
but you will never be pretty
because no matter how many
pounds you lose
how many hours you go without eating
how many bones I can see
it will never be enough
never
I will still look in the mirror
and see nothing but ugly
nothing but fat
I still see nothing
I am nothing