I live in a moment
where time is nonexistent.
Then suddenly I realize,
this is real life and time is relative.
Time is constantly moving....
forward.

We must all move forward!

Roses are red
the sky is blue
I can't stop smiling
Because I'm thinking of you
Putting on your shoes
packing all your things
I thought you'd give me a diamond ring
instead you cheated
you left me defeated
now it's all me
I'll show you how happy I can be
my first step begins
I've grown so much since then
now, I am FREE
no more walking on eggshells
FREEDOM is all I yell
for your love was like a jail
locking me in with no bail
Happy is all I'll be without you
Waiting for anything new

Clinking bottles
whiskey goggles
ordering a drink
not able to think
words come out a slur
bartender ignored me, bur
stumbling back to the table
she ordered my drink, i was unable
****** whiskey is what I got
known as gut rot
an evening is ending
my life is just beginning
I am now twenty-one
my life party has just begun

Three years ago today,
you asked me to be your girl.
To take your hand and disappear to a far away land.
For a year I felt mad love for you.
The second year had its ups and downs.
Then there were the real downs.
You cheated on me.
My fairy-tale turned into a nightmare.
My prince charming into a monsterous demon.
and now, on this day, I'm reminded of all the time I put into this.
Every inch of my love went to you over two years just to be cheated on while working towards the third.
I thought our love could get through everything,
I'm scared it's not strong enough for this.
Because it's only love coming from one of us now, my heart is cold.
Love is not beating through my veins.
Sadly, March 28th is now just a normal day for me.

My stomach is in knots.
I dream of sweet love,
love that makes you feel alive.
Love so pure, butterflies dance inside.
no matter how hard we try
this isn't pure love.
There is so much hate and anger,
that lingers inside us.
Each day there is a new battle to try and overcome.
we are going in circles to nowhere.
clearly, we aren't meant to be.
for starters, you lied and cheated on me.
That pain, it doesn't matter how **** hard I try,
is always going to poison me inside.

The way you looked me straight in the eyes and said I was the only one for you.
and You told me I was your everything.
You complimented my insecurities to make me feel happy.
you said you loved me forever and always.
that I was the only one for you.
you said all of these things while looking deep into my eyes.
now I know everything you said were lies.
the whole time, you were cheating on me!
none of it was true love, it was fake love,
the love you had for me, fake love.
my love was sincere, and I was always here.

You broke me
into pieces.
I can't stop picturing what you've done.
I hate you, I hate what you've done.
I hate how you've made me feel.
I feel worthless, like I meant NOTHING.
I was just your promised piece of *** to ravish.
you didn't need me....no,
you had many other girls to keep you satisfied.
I was 'just' your girlfriend.
which I thought one was faithful to, especially after 2 years, now almost 3 I'm discovering..you.
The REAL you, the you you've kept hidden so well.
The you that lies and cheats, and repeats.
My flag, bright white flag is flying.
I'm done, done with the REAL you making me the way I feel.

I feel queasy, nauseous, faint
Constantly knowing that I thought things were fine
looking at old pictures, I was so oblivious
I thought I had it all but you were nothing I wanted
you're what I wanted to avoid.
and now I know what you've done..
the trust is completely gone.
I am constantly sick because of my mind,
picturing you now, doing the same.
Hurting me the same just getting better at lying and hiding.
depression I roll into, I can't seem to break rotation.
I need out, I need light, I need breath, I need life.
Because when I'm around you I'm not sure if I know you.
you've lied to me, since the beginning
the trust is completely gone.

I like to sit around and ****
lean back and watch my room cloud with smoke
beginning to feel every hit
Mary Jane you're it
I enjoy these moments with my boy
he always brings me joy
I listen to your fingers glide
strumming those guitar strings
I love your voice
when you serenade me
when we sit back and enjoy the smoke
I love you
even behind my cloudy eyes
you're the one who makes me shine
we take a moment
we take another ****
we take time and watch my room fill with smoke
with you by my side
I'll always be all right

Roses are red
the sky is blue
I can't stop smiling
because I'm thinking of you
grabbing my waist
your right hand caressing my elephant tattoo
leaning in to kiss my lips
I love the way you taste
you're the only one I miss
cause I love
oh, yes that's true
there is no truer love
than the love I have for you
<3

Once you're unhappy
becoming happy again seems unlikely
it is hard to find joy
even when talking to a boy
it is hard to get yourself where you want to be
when you're so unhappy
sadness is an ugly disease
someone take the pain away, please
I try hard not to shed a single tear
I think I've found my biggest fear
as I lay in bed today
I plead, please take this unhappiness away

Closed mind and open doors
still hungover from the night before
whispers are heard from top to ground
look thats her turn around
I had to escape that place
all I wanted was to disguise my face
many questions ran through my mind
people were staring the entire time
  what happened last night
  what choices did I make
  I wonder if they were all mistakes
bad choices lead to consequences
I asked around and heard we jumped fences
that party was crazy
I'm ready for the next one, maybe

I paint a smile upon my sad face
everything feels out of place
the pain resides deep inside
happiness is truly hard to find
for days I weep
several nights without sleep
I wait patiently for change
everything always stays the same
give me a chance how hard can that be
just give me a chance to be happy

I never thought I could love someone for so long
look at us still going strong
baby there is something you should know
I am never going to let you go
you are mine and I am yours
I can't wait to walk through those doors
wearing nothing but white and maybe a little blue
just imagining my future with you
with your hand in mine
we can conquer anything and be fine
I can't wait for an eternity to prove it
I love you and there is no question to it

There she lay with her body uneven
she found comfort in the sunlight
sweet orange and brown fur a mess
from the playing the day before this
residing on the back of the couch
her favorite place to lay
mistake me not for she is not a cat
but a dog I can assure you that
the sweetest of pups that I know
I could never ever let her go
Bella Jane is my baby
absolute favorite lady
ears are floppy
snout so scruffy
eyes a beautiful brown with a touch of orange
she is my doggy in the window
my sweet young Bella Jane
is never ashamed
for she is unique
now that is what makes her so sweet

Butterflies flutter in my chest
My stomach begins to ache
A sickness overwhelms my body
With my head pounding
Thoughts race through my mind
My body begins to tremble
It becomes hard to see
Tears fall down my face
  Where is the one who will wipe them away
The one who will say,
  "I'll make all your pain fade"
I hold onto hope that it will get better
This unstoppable flow of emotions will never end

It is a fire that burns through my body
It shakes through my bones
My stomach turns, I begin to tremble
Thoughts begin to shoot around
  Why does she have to talk to him
  She is so much prettier than me
  Can't he see this is killing me
Thoughts continue to race
Taking a deep breath I close my eyes
  He is mine, forever and always
Jealousy is an omen
Beware, it will curse your body
Only bad can come
Let go and release to ease your sanity
For he is mine and I am his for all eternity

Whispers are echoing through my wandering mind
As I lay my head full of voices down for slumber
My mind truly rejoices for rest is near
Every thought I had that day crawled back into my tired brain
They whisper
-everyone knows you're fat
-you're never going to fit in
-you're crazy Ky
-you're obsessed
STOP! I don't give in
My eyelids fall
The whispers fade until tomorrow night as I lay awake in bed