I sat in that disturbingly dark room, with barely a wince of light shining through the thick curtains that were blue originally but now look dinged with yellow from the cigarette smoke.

Hearing the ***** and grungy guitaring with the out of tune and high pitched scratchy voice overbearing the whole thing sounded beautiful to me at the time.

I knew I was depressed at that very moment.

Even some sunny days have clouds that cast a shadow on the fields.

My fields though, were paved concrete that snake through everything.

I was in a relatively large city, heavily populated and concentrated in a small place.
It wasn’t anything like New York, or Atlanta or even Miami, but the thought of being in a big city excited me.

I would have rather be alone in a large city, than this mediocre town of old folk’s homes and schools for the growing children.

I was alone no matter what; I wanted to be alone sometimes.

To get out of the scorching sun and sit in the shade for a while calmed things down a bit.

I was so alone; I just wish I had someone to be alone with.

They say everyone has that one that got away,
The big fish.
I had always dreamed of my very own big catch.
It can be anything really though,
I for one don’t even like fishing.
But,
I still had my big fish, metaphorically speaking of course.
Its water that it taunted me with were cities I have never been to, and quite possibly never will be.
This big fish didn’t even know I was on the hunt for it.
I was but one of the thousands of fisherman looking for the same one.
It’s been caught before, many, many times.
But always released.
Never to be held on.
As quickly as it settles, it is gone again, to another city, another town and even another country.
Sometimes, I daydream about catching it.
I imagine the joy I would have and the biggest smile I have ever seen on my own face.
I would dance, and let all my troubles just float away if I caught it.
I have tried several times; through trial and error I kept learning new ways to catch it.
I studied its patterns and learned where its next location would be.
But I kept getting held back, told it was just a crazy dream.
They were right though.
A crazy dream indeed.
But a dream I had since I was just a boy.
I hated this fish in the beginning, thinking it was ugly and wasn’t worth my time.
But with my age growing, so did this desire towards it.
It drew me in.
The stories, the legends and even the photos lured me in.
I even thought, maybe it was luring me in.
Did it want to consume me?
…
Should I let it?
Should I forget all my prior engagements, my responsibilities, the tasks at hand that need to be done?
Should I just leave it all?
…..
What if,
What if I was disappointed?
That I wasn’t worth the fight and the struggle that had troubled me for so many years?
….
Who knows,
I know this though, that I have found my big fish,
And well maybe it was good enough to me, to have something to think about.
I guess I’ll just let it play out, that no matter what, fate will lead me to it,
To this big fish.

Send the call out,
Let all our boys hear the noise.
Theres gonna be a meet up,
So put on your jackets and bring your lights,
Were gonna run free through these streets.
Send out the message,
To all our girls,
Theres gonna be a party,
So put on your fine dresses and bring your things,
Were gonna feel alive through these streets.
We live in cities thatll never be named on the television,
It’s a ruin of our family dreams.

We kinda just went for it,
We didn’t stop, or cared.
He even lost a check with over 100 dollars on it,
But we laughed about it and knew it would eventually show up.
He even punched the horn breaking it, making it constantly stay on
But we laughed as we made noise through the crowded neighborhoods
We pretty much grew up,
We grew in height but not in thought
He even has the video games we played as kids still,
But we still play it like its new to us.
He even still has the pictures of us getting high together,
But we mocked ourselves remembering the funny nights with all our friends.
We never stopped,
We just kept going, knowing it all would work out.
Good bye, I know I’ll see you someday, when we all float on.

Go ahead, answer that phone call.
Swipe your finger across that screen and it’ll be signing your night away.
At a subtle7:30, the sun has already settled in its shallow watery grave, or is being lowered currently in its ball of fiery orange casket.
Answer that phone anyway, and say yes to whatever they have to offer.
It could be an adventure of a lifetime, or it could be a question of someone’s whereabouts.
You could watch from your window, the cars passing by and the overhead light flickering.
Grab your keys and go out, no matter where they are.
Step into the night and enjoy her lonely company.
Let the peach fuzz on your face be pushed up by the wind, and just go out.
Meet anyone and everyone anywhere.
Drive to the water only to stare in her vastness and welcome her sandy footsteps cover your feet.
Go to the brightest store and say hello to the cashier, make their night interesting with a conversation of commonplaces between the two.
Talk about their car or bike, talk about their job, or comment on the beauty of such a night.
Greet the rolling fog as it fills up these streets with a hazy glow.
Take a stand in the middle of the street and yell “HERE I AM” with arms stretched out as if holding the weight of the world in them.
Grab it all in, the smell of stale saltwater and the gritty stench of exhaust.
Travel to Central Avenue and awake to the nightlife of the inner city.
Bask yourself in their neon lights and flashing signs.
Embark yourself on a golden glory to adventure.
Treat yourself to wanderlust and feed that ever needing hunger of it.
Help yourself to its buffet, but don’t forget to share.
Company yourself to a stranger in need, whether they need their car pushed blocks to the nearest gas station, or drive a friend miles upon miles away to cities you barely even know about just to pick up his bag of clothes.
You see any night can become an adventure.  They can be filled with plot twists and surprises, good or bad. Take them all in, and don’t forget to answer that phone call.

Something good about tonight made me forgets about you for now.

Was it the smell of vanilla perfume, contrasting your aroma of thorny rose musk?

Could it have been the sound of laughter and smiles muffled by the sound of music, opposite from the yelling and the sounds of tears softy landing on your chest?

Maybe, it was the taste of ashy breath from a cigarette I have never tasted before, forgetting everything I have ever tasted on you.

Something good about tonight, made me forget about you for now.

The nights of my youth  fill up my thoughts.

I’ve laid to rest to many times,

You said we can’t keep in touch, but I can’t let go.

You breath out and I breath in.

The thought of nights running across the streets.