I did it for you, why couldn’t you do it for me?

I lustered as any haughty teenager would over you, my secrete since I shared my cookies with you at school.

I risked it all and still kept my secrete, but can you “make” a secrete?

For awhile I thought it was just a friendship, of mutuality, and that’s why I invited you to my dreams.

I dream that I got you drunk, knowing you would be up for it, but what would I do after?

Would I let the walls melt away, and the lights dim, finally releasing myself.

Or would we just laugh, and go out into new towns finding any memories we could make as just “friends”

We drove to the beach with our jackets on and a backpack full of cheap leftover beer.

I knew you would talk most of the time, ill just listen drinking whats the remains of the honey mead.

I focused on the honey sweet taste more than your words, drinking them in and letting my step fumble and my little words slur.

A cold Florida winter at a chilling 52 degrees, thickening our blood and seeing our beer cold enough to drink.

We kinda just went for it,

We didn’t stop, or cared.

He even lost a check with over 100 dollars on it,

But we laughed about it and knew it would eventually show up.

He even punched the horn breaking it to stay on

But we laughed as we made noise through the crowded neighborhoods

We pretty much grew up,

We grew in height but not in thought

He even has the video games we played as kids still,

But we still play it like its new to us.

He even still has the pictures of us getting high together,

But we mocked ourselves remembering the funny nights with all our friends.

We never stopped,

We just kept going, knowing it all would work out.

Well I made a plan,
Didn’t go too deep in it either.
I just let it carry itself out.
I guess I should just let it go about its own way.
Because if it didn’t,
Well I guess I would be ******.

It fell silent, and I don’t know when.
The streets lay empty and motionless.
The lights dulled to a deep orange, browned with age and creating a soft numbing image.
I stared and wondered why life had become so dull.
It became a life without a beat, frantically trying to make itself one.
Standing on my hearts porch, started to think and then again I couldn’t stop.
I took a foot off and with the first touch I quickly planted another.
The beats of my feet marched me.
Set me into a rhythm.
My own rhythm.

Move me just a little to the left so I can get just a few more degrees of the angle on it.

Dig a hole under my feet so I let it tower over me.

Build a post below me, so I can see on top and beyond it.

Hang me upside down, so I can have a new view of it.

Push me back to see it afar.

Pull me in, to take a closer look.

Drive me by it, so I can watch it pass by like a blur.

You were just the guy I would love to have a cigarette with outside.

I looked up to you in a way, listening to your lyrics and trying to tie myself in which I never knew I could.

To sit on a park bench and listen to you ramble on about nothing was good enough for me.

I wouldn’t bombard you with questions or ask for personal opinions.
****,

We could just talk about the cold weather for all I cared.

Its hearin’ your voice in person, and meeting the man behind the voice is all I wanted.

I’d even buy you a pack of stogues if you wanted.

Heh,

But I know that will never happen.