It is morning and raining
And no one is tapping at your door
Ringing you to the window
Pulling at your excitement
In all other cases this would be the day you sleep in
Stay inside your cocoon
Leave the awakening for another day
But I am the alarm
I ring in your ears and inspire you to stretch your arms
I tell you the sun is shining behind dark rolling clouds
And that it is morning
And that you should awaken
As you reach out to silence me
I beckon your hands to bend
As they would around a pencil
As they create fine words of unique expression
And as I ring through your ears
I call to your voice that rings in others
That calls on emotions always shared but rarely stated
And as you stare at my face and wonder how I dare to remind you of the things you could be doing
I stare at you back and wonder how you dare to leave them be
When you could be
Just as awakening
As an alarm

Gently pull the corners of the mouth up
Soften the eyes
Paint the inside of your mind gold
And let it spread to the toes
Let the paint dry
And care for it until it fades

When you wake up at 5:00
You don’t notice the sun on the pavement
The blue in the snow
You know the clock on the wall and the persistence of school
You know it’s earlier than you’d like and you have a test today and you’re nervous

But when you wake up at 5:00
And have a late start
An hour later is magnificent
Enough to feel like a gift
You wake to sun
Enough energy to sing you do
And though your family is still asleep you relinquish in the brightness of the room
The air seems lighter
The birds in the trees you hear them and smile
The people on the bus
In awe
Look there’s the sun!
As it has risen before us

Is seeing not predicting
That one minute later
Everything will be the same?

Yesterday I walked into my backyard and thought it looked like paradise

Look at you running
rush hour in my brain

I still feel like a child
like I need to be tucked in bed
Like I need to be reminded to brush my teeth
Not immature, just not mature yet

I still sleep with the light on
Still play with stuffed animals
And although there are signs that I am growing

The number of candles on the birthday cake

Growing out of that dress with gold hearts dotting the skirt

I don’t feel any older than I did yesterday
Before it was my birthday
before I’ve had any cake
before
     Isn’t that dress too small for you
before
     You’re all grown up now
The difference between
     You’ll understand when you’re older
and
     You should know that by now
     You’re not a child anymore
     A baby can cry but you’re not a baby anymore
     You’re too old for that now  
     They grow up so fast
Yes, and I didn’t even realize it

My voice is still high
My confidence is still small
And the world is so big, yet I can’t see myself in it