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andrew Dec 2013
Discussing feelings makes me uneasy
I'd rather ***** my love
Than purge my hate
andrew Dec 2013
I always thought that
not being yours
was the worst feeling
that I could ever experience

but now I’ve come across
an even emptier feeling

I can finally call you mine
but almost every single night
I’m still alone
andrew Dec 2013
im not drunk enough to forget what its like
to be close to you
to feel you grip my hand tighter

im not sober enough to remember what its like
to be alone in my bed
to feel an empty space next to me

i dont know if im drinking to forget
or if im drowning sadness absent mindedly
but what i do know is

liquid love is my only escape
andrew Dec 2013

1 beer
I open a blank message
My heart is beating too fast
I close it

3 beers
I open a blank message
My heart is beating too fast
I choose your contact
My throat tightens
I close it

5 beers
I open a blank message
Is my heart even beating
I choose your contact
Is my throat tightening
'I think I love you.'
I close it

7 beers
I open a blank message
Im too dizzy to feel anything
I choose your contact
'I think I love you'
'I think I used to love you'
andrew Nov 2013
my only friend

i wish he would leave me be for awhile
maybe let me pick myself up off the ground
brush the dirt off of my clothing
take a warm warm shower
and let myself feel human again

but mr.e.d. is selfish
as am i
we both want beauty
we both want to risk it all

i dont quite remember how i met him
we must’ve shook hands one night
when i was feeling too low
because i know he lifted me up
and kissed my nose and whispered
"ill help you become yourself"

i knew mr.e.d. would become my everything
but i didn’t understand what that meant
until he had me gasping for air
between pools of half digested food
crying promises to the toilet bowl
"ill change ill change i promise"

i don’t want to leave mr.e.d.
because he helped me become
who i am
and i owe him

im sorry that my friends don’t like you mr.e.d.
im sorry that i promised them i’d leave you
but you know me better than that
im loyal
and you
are my everything
andrew Nov 2013
our love is like world peace
non-existant but im yearning for it

sometimes i sit in my room
in my boxers
thinking about you
with a playlist on
all about

i want to know what its like
when you’re alone in *your
do you sit in your
listening to music
thinking about

i want to touch you
and learn about your body
because you’re the most
interesting beautiful
complex fragile
human i know


im sitting in my room
in my boxers
with my playlist
and this
is what i hope to be
chapter 1 in the book of us

chapter 2: requited love, the forever journey.

— The End —