Hey guess what I'm in love with you. Everything about you. And I can't stand it half of the time but the other half of the time I understand all those stupid stanzas and love songs and books because that's how I feel about you. You're the most amazing person and I don't deserve you. But I'm glad you came back.. However more than anything I'm glad you never really left.

There's always so much hidden beneath the words we refuse to say
Similar to when we leave thoughts to gather up a storm on their own
So why after professing ones love in actions do we return to avoiding messages and cutting phone calls?
How can you close your eyes and just say time flies when you haven't moved an inch
You don't even apologise
Or blame the way the earth spins
Just rid your horizon of the next transmission and all is well in your spectrum
As your face value rockets while mine plummets
Tell me how did you trap me in this simulation of fun

For someone to say I don't know you could be pretty accurate
I don't know what you do in your spare time
I don't know a lot about your friends
Hell I don't even remember the name of your college
But what I do remember is how you like the colour peach
It's an absurd word
And an even more absurd colour choice if you ask me
I also know that you can't stand it when I have mehndi on my hands but you still give into kissing me
You say it smells horrible
And that it's stupid
But you still keep me in your arms even after complaining about it
So why am I not in your arms now when everything is relatively okay
Isn't this what we've been waiting for
Because we favour the sad songs over the happy ones
Our chemistry is fuelled by the complexity of our scenario
The day we lose it
Is the day we lose each other
Simplicity was never our forte

You're not as sweet as your name
But your lips are
A fury of limbs not even resisting anymore
But what makes you an even bigger ******* is the fact that you don't want more
You're happy with a tangle of words and thoughts and hearts
Pushing
Pulling
Unable to reach a point of conclusion
A cycle that keeps on turning
Struggling to accept the
The way that your pulse races into mine
Refusing for things to make sense
Because you seem to prefer the damaged ends
The open wounds
Much like the overly cliche stanzas that have become our excuse
Blame the distance
Blame the way your face only appears once in a thousand days
But you refuse to blame yourself
To accept the fear behind each touch
Because you don't want to be in love

6,380 days
That's how long I have known you for
In that time I've supposed to have taken 128,620,807 breaths
That's 12-16 breaths per minute on average
And as I'm writing this I'm holding my breathe again
Holding it and remembering the 6,380 days of memories
Because on that first day I feel in love with you and I just didn't know it
And the second day it happened again
And so forth the third
And the fourth
The fifth
Sixth
I just didn't know it

I realised it on the last second of the 6,379 day
The day we decided to forget everything
When I woke up in a bed smelling of your cologne
When you held my hand under the covers and stroked my skin
Not afraid of the possibility anymore of someone noticing
Cause I think they already did
That the two of us were in love and we just didn't know it yet
Or maybe when you made me breakfast and sat there quietly as I ate.
When I held you tightly as we zipped through the cold on your bike
The time when you held my hand while driving even though we were merely inches apart we wanted more
Maybe it was when I realised how effortlessly your arm drapes over my shoulder and I fit into your warmth
Or when we had five minutes completely alone and you wrapped your arms around my waist
Kissed my cheek
And we looked in the mirror
It was as if we were a couple
We always have been though
A couple of friends
But for one day we weren't

Truth be told it's similar to those little notes out mothers left in our lunchboxes.
We never notice them until they're gone.
They were just an ordinary piece of paper with swirly writing that was difficult to decipher.
Almost as if they're the full stops at the end of sentences we only notice once we read back over and they're not there
That's how I only noticed that you're not here now when you once were everywhere.