I am a ship, he said, of the desert.

I go to the oasis, to get all the love I can,
To soak it up and store it,
For the long, hard journey ahead.

The mirages, they trick me.
Cruel they are, to show me
What does not exist.

I was weak, and
Then I was split,
Into Two.

One in a cage and one,
I,
Strong.

But I was lured by fear,
Near
The caged one.

I sought shelter, from
An image, and
He let me in.

Then he locked us
Both in,
Trapped us.

The key was gone, he
Took his life, and
Left me.

Clearly,
Worse off than
Before.

On a cloud,
Floating close by,
I first saw this little girl.
I was a little boy.
There was mist between, and
All around was forming and dissolving.
The currents of the wind bore our clouds
Nearer and farther, and gave shape to all I saw.
The last I remember is just a shape in the distance,
A patchwork of color, of skin and clothes and hair,
Before a crack and a boom,
Of what I now call lightning,
That turns all to white for an instant,
Leaving everything charged up,
Scarred and cauterized,
Sending me tumbling,
Down.

The man in gray fled down the street
And I followed, flying low
Until I broken even, then
Gripping him in my talons,
Bore him off towards the pit.
Nearing it, I was ready
To drop him, when
I woke up.

I drew her with one arm and one leg.
Why? Because I could!

I'm making things now, aren't I ?
I can choose now how
To give form
To them.

I  drew her with blue eyes,
And a red dress.

And pink lips,
And short, dark hair.
It wasn't fair
To draw her any other way,
This is how
I did see
Her in her box.

You can squeeze yourself
Into a small body
And move around like a particle,
Or be a huge body
And let waves accomplish
The same within you;
Both are valid
Forms of life.

This animal will be the death of me,
It leads me by the point to
The cavernous places, the lulls.
The greatest cowardice is in not caring.

Argh! Stop telling me
What to do.
Wait, you're not anymore,
You say ?
You just used to ?
Why am I still doing this then ?
Am I a prisoner to the past ?
Or do I just like it now ?

Wow, I've been
Out of Action
For a while; I fell
Into the same old trap again.
The mind traps, the clever subterfuge,
The adversary always lurking.
When I let the poetry stop flowing,
It's pace and rhythm
Was replaced by a colder circuit.
Here's hoping I can
Claw my way back again.

The tide of life
Ebbs and flows
It washed me up
And drew me back out again
I cannot say
Whether this time
I've landed on the same shore.

Trip, and if you
Keep doing it often enough, you'll
Tip over and run the last time, just
Rip through the road and the people,
The things and events and
The trials and the tragedies,
Till you find
Your momentum, and you
Go off on a tangent, and you
Fly through the air, and
Escape.

I tumbled into her.
Climbed her,
But found instead of a summit,
A crater.
I fell through, and the molten
Fluids consumed me,
Dissolved me.
I moved beneath the shifting crust,
In unknowing, in agony,
Till she spit me out, spent,
On some distant shore.

Fat and lazy I gave become,
With fat and lazy thoughts; what
Lies beneath this guarded self-deception?

If you fear something,
It never truly goes away,
But festers and grows.

It multiplies out of sight,
And returns,
Stronger, bolder,
Scarier.

A many headed hydra,
Which must be dealt with
All at once
Or not at all.

These are the productions of evil
In your life,
In your mind.

These are the monsters,
You must slay,
Or else be
Enslaved by them,
And become as they are,
Forever.

When I tried to write,
I could not write,
The words would not come,
Because I tried to write.

If I had let the words flow,
Perhaps I would have had a poem today.

But I didn't, so I don't.

I do not fear this state for long.
There is feeling now, where I have been numb,
I can feel,
I can feel myself coming back to life.

I use a word to describe a feeling.
When I have a new feeling,
Do I need a new word?
Can I use an old word?

If I thought I loved,
Could I have been wrong?
Does it mean I lied,
If I said I did,
When I thought I did,
But didn't,
and didn't know that I didn't?

If I feel something new,
Can I call it love ?

Do I still need
To call the old feeling love
Too ?

Falling or floating;
If you didn't feel the air rushing,
If you could breathe all the time,
Would you know the difference ?

The neglected flower
Fallen
Like snow
Amid branches
Wet with rain
Crumpled under hard boots
And dryness
Breaks down

Been in bed all day, coz
I've got the flu,
It's no picnic,
Let me tell you.

The only upside
Is to let your thoughts float
With the fever a river,
Your mind a boat.

And I'm just sitting here,
Biding my time.
Useless, you say?
Useless it may
Well be.
Am I lazy?
Am I revolting?
Am I just
Standing by,
Waiting for you,
To get behind you,
To make my move?

I cannot say
What I want or
What I like;
Fake things intrude
And obscure;
As far back as I can remember
I have always faked my feelings.
I am a fake person.
At some point the fake self
And the real one did fight,
And the former won,
And not content with victory,
Did seek to root out the other.
Yea, I have done ******,
And live on with the terrible
Knowledge of that horrible act;
I am a fake person.

It's not too deep
I can almost touch the tips of
The weeds growing underwater
If I stretch.

If I try to stand,
I slip.
So I try to float instead.

I try to get across
Quickly, since it smells.
It smells like something died.
Like many things died.

But as my head gets stuck
In a half submerged branch,
I see him standing on the shore.

The green man.

The hardest part about
Growing
Is fighting
This sense of time
Running out,
Of wishing
I can do better than I did,
Wondering
What happens if I don't,
Dreading
What happens if I can't

Slow motion breaking glass
Descending  along with me
To streets far below

At what price comes change?
I slip out of my cocoon,
But I cannot fly.

The world, reflected,
Looks back: a mirror, a well;
Different, but same.

A thorn that moved in
Has sprouted many branches
Now twists inside me

Perpetually,
Lightning twists through me,
And I stand transfixed.

Stop dragging along
I despair of carrying you
Stand and walk instead

The shimmering sands
Show me what I want to see,
Stumbling, falling down.

Come down by the sea
And see what remains of it
She didn't leave much

Slithering through leaves
Something looks at me and blinks
And whispers, "come hither"

I cry now, without
recognizable feelings.
Okay, back to work.

Storm's coming closer,
Gonna have to leave you now
To ride the lightning

I feel I can burst
The next push is the last straw
Ending my struggle

The past me, a fool
Present me, wanders about
Future me, save us!

Not simple, not this.
Inexplicably puzzling,
The ways of the heart

I am pushed around
Waves and rocks and tentacles
I float, I tumble

Counting on fingers,
As the tide recedes away,
Making my escape.

Wait, I said, what's this?
Haven't I given enough?
No, she said, not yet.

Not enough to die;
I must create a new life
From my former self

It drives itself through,
Penetrating flesh and bone;
The pain now owns me.

Burn the fire stronger;
I have been drenched by your love,
I need to dry off

Pour one out for me,
I'm dry and parched and empty.
Nowhere else to go.

I see what you see,
My dream encompasses yours;
We float together.

I quake with feelings
That I thought were long suppressed
Why do you taunt me?