The forms of things
Are ever in flux
On their margins,
But once in a long while,
Solid turns to liquid,
And there is a small window
To act,
To change
The boundaries,
As former things pass away,
And new ones come into being.

Ooh, that feels good ...
... what was it I stepped on again?

The moon was melting today,
And I brought out my cone.

My reflection grew blurry,
So I shut my eyes.

Why do you keep me alive,
In pain? Why am I not dead?
I do not understand your wisdom.
Why am I dragged in chains,
Through the filth of the world?
What purpose are you driving at?
Why do you treat me so? Do you not
Believe I will rise in anger the moment my
Cage is unlocked, my
Manacles are opened?
Or do you believe by this I will
Learn some Principle as yet unseen?
Do not hide the future in this mist!
Why do you tempt me?
Can I not tear everything down,
Even at this moment?
Why are you so certain?
Why must I be tested in blindness?
Can I not know a bit, see a bit?
Can I not glimpse a bit of that which
I fight for, so that I may
Rely less on faith alone?

Have I been wrong all this while?
Should I have done something different?
Should I change everything now?
Have I rejected wonderland for hell?
If yes, can I go back? Can I undo the past?
If no, how long can I go on this way?
It hurts! It pains! It stings!
The past claws at me,
And my faith grows weak.
How long can I go on,
Without a sign?

Resentment.
I overflow with it.
I am filled with doubt.
Filled with dread and
Longing.
Which is me and which is other.
I knew only that I had to do
The Right Thing.
I cannot now say
What it was.
Either I must persevere, or
Abandon.
And I cannot choose between them.

Another day, another loss, another
Waste of useless energy,
Moving horizontally,
Slipping on the upward rope,
Hoping not to slip.

Upwards or downwards;
Does it matter ?

Either way,
We will
Transcend.

Sometimes a single denial of truth,
A single compromise with your feelings,
Can come to define you, or constrain you,
Until you reach the point where
Your life feels like a lie.

You say you feel alive.
What's that like?

I'm not so bad,
Am I ?
You don't need to be
Scared of me.
Come closer,
I won't bite.
Forget what I
Said earlier,
I'm not really
Out to get you.

Up all night, I'm in a funk,
Being quite sleepy's like being a bit drunk.
Stumble to a table, get my coffee, begin to write,
But hey, I'm still happy (yeah, who would've thunk?)

I feel like going
On a grand adventure.
To discover new worlds
And new horizons.
I am too full of knowing;
It is time now
To experience.

What's under this leaf ?
It looks like
A little man.
Come on,
Everyone!
Let's crush him
In turn.

Hey man, get a move on,
I gotta leave now, gotta take on
The world and its many
Barbs, and see if there's any
Guards I can put up in time;
I'm committing a crime
Against myself, I'm
Keeping me down,
So who's gonna own
Me when I'm done?

Think it's time
For a fresh start,
Cos jokes apart,
We're poles apart.

I see them on the corners,
The goers and the comers,
The lifters and the beaters,
The high-flying skaters,
The low-life drifters.
I see the time tick by
As they move in slow motion
The air growing thick
With my anticipation.
I cry, "the hour is here!",
The clock chimes on,
The day comes and goes,
But oh, they linger on.

I used to think a
Poem was something
Out of reach, unattainable,
Difficult to create; I now
Believe it is a
Drawing out, a
Melding together, a
Composition reflecting what already
Exists, that needs only expression in
Words.

Returning now to the scene of the crime.

I was a different man.

At a different time and a different place,
I will find one person the same

A pink Barbie doll,
Lying on the black, black bed,
As the tentacles close in on her,
Their tips glistening and ready to strike.

A pulsar, beating away in deepest space,
Sounding out its dead chronology.

The fell beast slouches no more: it is born!
Yes, it is born, and walks among you,
And you see it not!

Like flies they are ****** about,
The churning of the oceans sends them
Spinning outwards, the outer wall
Making its presence felt with
A resistance vague yet firm.

Into this ever widening, pulsating
World, with its
Regularization, like prison bars of time
And space gripping you, parcelling
You into regular cubes, the
Common atoms for the
Common people,
Into this are you ******,
Headlong and without choice,
Without precedent,
Being forced to
Retreat from retreat,
Naked and hungry,
To find what you can,
And salvage what you can,
Of it and
Of you.

Do not be quick to discard
Messy things in favor of more
Elegant, more
Symmetric, more
Ones. After all
(As I have recently learned!)
A baby is more
Beautiful than a
Diamond.
All life is messy, and
Your search for
Perfection might lead only to
Corpses.

It is hard to write and hard not to write.
I hover over the next word or sentence, hesitating.
Perhaps I am searching what to write for,
Because I have no words to write.
But perhaps the words are pushing out,
Trying to be born,
To come out through me into the world.
It hurts.

I think it's bitter,
But better say it's sweet.
I could make this longer,
Then it wouldn't be a tweet.

I am scared of my heart
Beating so hard
That the blood bursts
Through my veins
What would happen then
How embarassing
For everyone to see me
Covered in blood
It would never do

An old book
Stopped by today
To say hi.

Shiny street, blue cobblestone over damp ground,
I see only your feet.
And your legs growing upwards from those two roots,
Disappearing under a (woolen?) bright magenta canopy.
I raise my umbrella to see the rest, but yours covers you.
Until the clouds cease their relentless mourning,
This much will have to do.

Smash the frikking screens,
Smash all of them !
Tear down all the wires,
Pull out all the cables !
Pulverize the mechanical minds,
The mechanical system,
The mechanical men.
Is this what you want ?
And what for ?
What's the point ?
You're bugged anyway.

I try to keep them out,
I really do.
But they swarm over me
And into me.
Creeping, crawling
And squeezing in.
Soon it's like I have
A second skin.
That moves
And coats me
Inside
And out.
The whole is indistinguishable
From the millions of them.
I hate bugs.

Cart and horse, in front of the marble columns,
Waiting for the next load
Of rubble.
Looking at the half-deconstructed forms
That now lie strewn about,
Some still showing their sublime features,
Others reduced to dull gray facets,
It's hard to say what once was.
A cathedral (some say), that outlived
It's function,
Depopulated.
It lies
Idle now,
In a less than
Idol state,
The grass growing over.

How do I wash myself
Clean of the past that still
Clings to me and makes me
Doubt every action,
Censor every thought,
Freezes the flowing river of
Change into a dull,
Crystalline, still image.

After enough time passes,
All things become normal.

You get used to he great things in your life,
And you get used to all the troubles.

Very soon the need to change seems absurd,
In your mind.
But you don't stop feeling it,
In your heart.

Show me your elements, your mixtures, your
Adorable complex surface, Let me
Dive within and soak in your enzymes,
With my only effort being to reach, to
Stretch, to get that most unattainable inner flame
Within, to grasp it and burn myself.

I stood alone
In the tall hall
And felt a chill near my left hand.

Later I learnt
It was where
She had died.

To decide what to do,
It might help to
Focus on what you would
Regret not doing.

I hate making choices.
I tell myself
I'm going to die
Anyway, so
What's the point ?
But then I also
Forget to live.

Ah! What brilliant light! What color! My dear,
You must give me one of those bright
Rocks, it will do well for cutting; It
Chops so well when hit repeatedly, I
Don't miss my knife anymore.

Itty bitty teeny ******
Delicious and soft linguini
And you know I just hafta
Eat some of that pasta
Yep, one of the things in life that's good
Is eating a lot of yummy, yummy Italian food.

The sharp angles
Of the skyline
Cut my eyes.

I turn away
And fall on to
A passing cloud.

But fall right through it,
And as I fall,
The ground is smooth and patchy.

I see birds,
And little dots going about
Their business, peacefully, below.

And now I am peaceful,
And now I wish
That I had not fallen!

Positively charming, is what she said.
Which cake can I get you?
My dog died yesterday, said the boy behind her.
Turn down the music!
Which party are we going to tonight?
I need to call my mom.
Help me, I'm lost!
I'm going to cut myself tonight.
Do you hear me?
Are you listening?
Give me the toy car!
No, you can't have it, not now.
Can we do it later?
Forget it.
Look behind you,
They're out
To get you.

Make like a comet;
She your clothes and your fears
And streak across the sky.

Range far and wide,
Returning periodically
To offer the gazers
A generous glimpse,
But spend less time near them
And more further away,
In the colder, rarified, darker recesses.

Repeat, until
You can't maintain
Your eccentricity;
At which point,
Feel free to
Enter the dense hot air
Of your earthbound brethren,
And go out in a blaze
Of fiery falling fragments.

You tell me this way, I go that.
You ask for this, I give you that.
You say sit, and I then jump.
You say slow, I speed over the bump.
You look down when I look up.
You climb up when I walk down.
You push and shove, I slip right by.
You fly and I crouch near the ground.
You stand at guard, always watching,
Don't bother with it, you won't see me coming.

Something stirs within the
Imaginary world, and
Through my mind,
Desires, most strongly,
To be born.

No, I'm not ready yet!
Please, you don't understand,
There's been a terrible mistake.
Yes, I know this is the right
Address, I was supposed to come here,
But I'm early, and
It wasn't supposed to be this way!
I know, I know, I said I wanted it,
But that was some time ago,
That's not who I am anymore ...
... no, open the door, stop the
MACHINE! Before it crushes me ...
... I'm up against the
Wall, and it won't be long now, but
Just a few moments more?!

Sometimes I get
Overheated
And my mind
Swirls down this
Vicious path, in a
Whirlpool,
Turbulent,
Wild,
With a radius of spin
Ever decreasing,
Steadily moving in for the final drop ...
... At the last moment, I awake, and
Reach out to grip
Something, Someone,
Anything that can
Halt my
Descent.