The poem in my dream
Was much better,
But this will
Have to do.

I submitted my case,
"as you can plainly see",
I understated,
"I'm not quite happy",
And was promptly
Laughed out.
Oh, hah hah, they said,
It's way past the time
For that;
What've you been doing
All this time?
Well, alright, I said,
But don't blame me
For the shape of things to come.

I hate making choices.
I tell myself
I'm going to die
Anyway, so
What's the point ?
But then I also
Forget to live.

Do you want to live?
Why, why do you want to live?
Why drag around this piece of meat,
Spending all your energy to keep it
On the brink of death, to keep it
From falling over?

You feel when you should think,
And think when you should feel;
No wonder you're depressed.

Wait, I said, what's this?
Haven't I given enough?
No, she said, not yet.

So much unwritten,
So much left inside my mind;
Shall it die with me?

It's funny when people think
I make up the stuff I write,
As if I sit around choosing
What happens next.
Or maybe it's scary,
Or maybe it's embarrassing,
Because really all I do
Is writ down what I see
When I close my eyes.

Lower your voice
Shut your eyes
Slow down time
And then see it

I'm so distracted.
I dart here, there, everywhere ...
Wait, what did I say?

Perpetually,
Lightning twists through me,
And I stand transfixed.

Resentment.
I overflow with it.
I am filled with doubt.
Filled with dread and
Longing.
Which is me and which is other.
I knew only that I had to do
The Right Thing.
I cannot now say
What it was.
Either I must persevere, or
Abandon.
And I cannot choose between them.

Somewhere over there
Lives someone not unlike me,
And I in their head.

I haven't written for many days now
I've been gone, somewhere, somehow
I've failed, in a way, to keep on writing
I got lost again, in the day-to-day fighting
And wore myself out,
But it wasn't a waste
Coz once again I can taste
The bitterness
Whose only purpose is to light a fire
That obliterates my procrastination and desire
And makes me want to come here
And throw out all the garbage, and all I hold dear,
Till I'm left with nothing, but that's no loss;
Writing every day is the secret sauce
Of life and love and happiness, so
Peace out, everyone!

I'm in a rush here;
Can't you see where I'm going?
The road, it has me.

Hungry I am
Hungry for you
Hungry for me
My hunger is yours
Feed it
Feed me
Feed yourself

The minds need feeding too, with
Food for thought.
Avoid stale thoughts, fast thoughts, sugary thoughts,
Take in only what you'd like to
Become part of you.

Storm's coming closer,
Gonna have to leave you now
To ride the lightning

I wanna stop being so
Self-absorbed, but
I keep getting
Stuck, thinking it's
Too late to
Start now. The
Trick is to realize
There's a whole
World out there.

Come away with me:
The night still holds its kingdom,
We're safe till morning.

Burn the fire stronger;
I have been drenched by your love,
I need to dry off

It drives itself through,
Penetrating flesh and bone;
The pain now owns me.

The walls of my mind,
Resilient to vain hope,
Keep me tied in chains.

I must in secret
Enjoy the compliments to
My doppelgänger.

Somewhere it is dark.
I do not want to be there.
I fall into it.

Write!
You lazy, you ignorant, you ****** fool, write!
See the storm that rages!
Turn your eyes downwards, below the surface,
Look to the depths,
See the forces that give rise to forms above!
Then look within — you are not!

All change is
Miraculous, both
Birth, and
Death.

Counting on fingers,
As the tide recedes away,
Making my escape.

I feel like going
On a grand adventure.
To discover new worlds
And new horizons.
I am too full of knowing;
It is time now
To experience.

Below the surface,
A rage, a restless yearning;
For now, the dam holds.

Hey, are we there yet?
The signal is getting weak,
Do you think we're lost?

Trampling them under,
Its metallic grinding wheels
Rumble on forwards.

Drawing in the tide,
Plastic ships bouncing, sinking;
My white whale beckons.

Many black suns
Fly through my fingers,
As I close one eye
And open the other,
Pulsing in beat to my dreams.

My little finger
Twitched; this only ever happens
When they change something.

I cry now, without
recognizable feelings.
Okay, back to work.

Okay, where are we?
I'm disoriented now.
(Can I stop swimming?)

There were lines forming in it;
Fractures, small and large.
One in particular loomed large
And broke off, sliding down.
Only then did I see what lay behind it, but
Would you believe me if I told you ?

At what price comes change?
I slip out of my cocoon,
But I cannot fly.

Something there is, that doesn't
Like me writing, that
Pushes back at me, that
Drives me to other distractions, and
When all else fails,
Beats me down with fear.
Seriously, what gives?

The past me, a fool
Present me, wanders about
Future me, save us!

I betrayed myself
I hurt myself
I cast myself down into the well;
After all it was I ...
... I deceived my self.

No more time to stand and stare,
A growing awareness of the wear and tear
Inflicted on my mind and body with each passing day,
I move within the confines of my life,
Sandwiched between the roses and the stone.

An unease, the vibrating,
Restless shifting,
I do not know what I want.
I thought the questions to be
Asked, were "Who am I?" and
"Where do I come from?", but
Too much time has passed, and
Too many false starts, and
Too many dead ends; I am
Filled with doubt, trying
Everything and giving up on it,
All I want is to know once and for all,
"What do I really want?"

I would make you my muse,
If I could only
See you better,
And more reliably.

It is glimpses alone, now,
And visions imagined,
That keep me crawling.

Exploding inside;
Pain, sorrow, and a longing.
What will come of this?

If you're happy and you know it
Clap your hands.
If you're happy and you don't know it,
Get some exercise, get some sun.
If you're unhappy and you know it,
Do the same.
If you're unhappy and you don't know it, please do nothing.

Crawling through my skin,
The worm nibbles at my flesh;
"You sold out", it says.

Unhappy people
Are always the ones
In deep trouble.
One day they might experience
True Happiness, perhaps
For a fleeting moment.
Then, they have to decide between
Letting it pass away, or
Turning their lives upside down.
It's safer being unhappy.

Out of my way! To the right, to the left,
To the ... oh wait, who are you ?
Let's all snap our fingers, and
Yeah you know you feel it too!
It's this crazy loving feeling,
I just gotta run around,
I just gotta tell everyone,
The devil's coming to town.