I hate making choices.
I tell myself
I'm going to die
Anyway, so
What's the point ?
But then I also
Forget to live.

Somewhere it was
Where I misplaced you.
Now I retrace my steps,
Looking within the
Pools of streetlights,
Hoping I don't need
To look in the dark places.

Trip, and if you
Keep doing it often enough, you'll
Tip over and run the last time, just
Rip through the road and the people,
The things and events and
The trials and the tragedies,
Till you find
Your momentum, and you
Go off on a tangent, and you
Fly through the air, and
Escape.

I'm so distracted.
I dart here, there, everywhere ...
Wait, what did I say?

Chug along,
Don't make too much of a noise.
You want to make an impact,
But you don't really want them to find you,
Do you ?
Do you want to be seen,
Or heard,
Or felt ?

My little finger
Twitched; this only ever happens
When they change something.

I'm in a rush here;
Can't you see where I'm going?
The road, it has me.

The poem in my dream
Was much better,
But this will
Have to do.

When you stand off base
And let the winter cheer in,
While the trees dance
Their merry dance, and
The wind circles round in glee,
Remember this moment,
When all was wonderful,
Remember it for you and me.

They're busy trying
To fill your life
With greater comfort
And greater security;
But they don't know
That comfort's not what
You want at all.
Do they even suspect,
That you would give up
Everything!
For the slightest chance
Of bringing into your life
The slightest meaning?

I was weak, and
Then I was split,
Into Two.

One in a cage and one,
I,
Strong.

But I was lured by fear,
Near
The caged one.

I sought shelter, from
An image, and
He let me in.

Then he locked us
Both in,
Trapped us.

The key was gone, he
Took his life, and
Left me.

Clearly,
Worse off than
Before.

You feel when you should think,
And think when you should feel;
No wonder you're depressed.

Storm's coming closer,
Gonna have to leave you now
To ride the lightning

Counting on fingers,
As the tide recedes away,
Making my escape.

Burn the fire stronger;
I have been drenched by your love,
I need to dry off

It drives itself through,
Penetrating flesh and bone;
The pain now owns me.

I had a dream, in which I asked
Why I was so unhappy,
Why my life turned out the way it did,
When I clearly wanted something else.

I was shown a mistake I made,
A long time ago,
A terrible mistake, I now perceived.

When I saw this,
The sources of my problems
We're clear to me; the path
Of my life since then
Was clear to me.

“But”, I cried out,
“How can I change this now?!
How can I fix this?"

No answer was then received,
And I realized,
That I was far unhappier
Now
That I knew.

For better or worse,
When I awoke,
I remembered the pattern of this dream,
But not the mistake.

The past me, a fool
Present me, wanders about
Future me, save us!

Okay, where are we?
I'm disoriented now.
(Can I stop swimming?)

I feel like going
On a grand adventure.
To discover new worlds
And new horizons.
I am too full of knowing;
It is time now
To experience.

Trampling them under,
Its metallic grinding wheels
Rumble on forwards.

Perpetually,
Lightning twists through me,
And I stand transfixed.

Crawling through my skin,
The worm nibbles at my flesh;
"You sold out", it says.

I am a ship, he said, of the desert.

I go to the oasis, to get all the love I can,
To soak it up and store it,
For the long, hard journey ahead.

The mirages, they trick me.
Cruel they are, to show me
What does not exist.

I haven't written for many days now
I've been gone, somewhere, somehow
I've failed, in a way, to keep on writing
I got lost again, in the day-to-day fighting
And wore myself out,
But it wasn't a waste
Coz once again I can taste
The bitterness
Whose only purpose is to light a fire
That obliterates my procrastination and desire
And makes me want to come here
And throw out all the garbage, and all I hold dear,
Till I'm left with nothing, but that's no loss;
Writing every day is the secret sauce
Of life and love and happiness, so
Peace out, everyone!

I submitted my case,
"as you can plainly see",
I understated,
"I'm not quite happy",
And was promptly
Laughed out.
Oh, hah hah, they said,
It's way past the time
For that;
What've you been doing
All this time?
Well, alright, I said,
But don't blame me
For the shape of things to come.

Out there above the stone wall,
High above the sea,
Sat the cold woman, all alone,
Dressed in her finery.

I drew closer, wary, scared,
I shivered from head to toe.
The air, it was electric,
All those years ago.

I made my way by her glow,
A glow of dull white light.
The stars were out,
As they always were,
But the moon stayed in that night.

I heard her humming,
As I drew close,
A sad and distant song.
"Waiting for you, my darling,
A wait sweet and long."

Then she was gone, and I alone,
In the darkness, wild and free.
As long I live, I shall never forget,
The cold woman, by the sea.

Drawing in the tide,
Plastic ships bouncing, sinking;
My white whale beckons.

Exploding inside;
Pain, sorrow, and a longing.
What will come of this?

The minds need feeding too, with
Food for thought.
Avoid stale thoughts, fast thoughts, sugary thoughts,
Take in only what you'd like to
Become part of you.

It's funny when people think
I make up the stuff I write,
As if I sit around choosing
What happens next.
Or maybe it's scary,
Or maybe it's embarrassing,
Because really all I do
Is writ down what I see
When I close my eyes.

Lower your voice
Shut your eyes
Slow down time
And then see it

I wanna stop being so
Self-absorbed, but
I keep getting
Stuck, thinking it's
Too late to
Start now. The
Trick is to realize
There's a whole
World out there.

I am pushed around
Waves and rocks and tentacles
I float, I tumble

Write!
You lazy, you ignorant, you ****** fool, write!
See the storm that rages!
Turn your eyes downwards, below the surface,
Look to the depths,
See the forces that give rise to forms above!
Then look within — you are not!

I betrayed myself
I hurt myself
I cast myself down into the well;
After all it was I ...
... I deceived my self.

I cry now, without
recognizable feelings.
Okay, back to work.

It's a minor thing,
Something I have forgotten,
I can't remember.

Hungry I am
Hungry for you
Hungry for me
My hunger is yours
Feed it
Feed me
Feed yourself

I see what you see,
My dream encompasses yours;
We float together.

Rest your mind for me;
Is it scarred and bruised like mine?
Together we escape.

All change is
Miraculous, both
Birth, and
Death.

Unhappy people
Are always the ones
In deep trouble.
One day they might experience
True Happiness, perhaps
For a fleeting moment.
Then, they have to decide between
Letting it pass away, or
Turning their lives upside down.
It's safer being unhappy.

I awoke; I had dreamt
That I had lost it.
I looked for it but did not find it.
It was not where I had last placed it.
I diminish every day without it.
If you find it, you may keep it.

Pour one out for me,
I'm dry and parched and empty.
Nowhere else to go.

Something there is, that doesn't
Like me writing, that
Pushes back at me, that
Drives me to other distractions, and
When all else fails,
Beats me down with fear.
Seriously, what gives?

I'm tripping over thoughts and feeling,
Dripping with anxiety and fear,

I'm caught in the mesh of my own mind,
Dropping from a tangle to a trap,

Gotta pull through, cut through,
Break through this accursed wall.

Been a long while since I felt alive;
Feel like I'm living someone else’s life.

The tide of life
Ebbs and flows
It washed me up
And drew me back out again
I cannot say
Whether this time
I've landed on the same shore.