Positively charming, is what she said.
Which cake can I get you?
My dog died yesterday, said the boy behind her.
Turn down the music!
Which party are we going to tonight?
I need to call my mom.
Help me, I'm lost!
I'm going to cut myself tonight.
Do you hear me?
Are you listening?
Give me the toy car!
No, you can't have it, not now.
Can we do it later?
Forget it.
Look behind you,
They're out
To get you.

We wanted each other
But at different times
There was love to be shared
Between each other

Instead we opted
For different kind of
Symmetric relationship

We hurt each other
But at different times
There was pain to be shared
Between each other

Hah
Hah hah
Hah hah hah hah

Weep now.

A pink Barbie doll,
Lying on the black, black bed,
As the tentacles close in on her,
Their tips glistening and ready to strike.

The neglected flower
Fallen
Like snow
Amid branches
Wet with rain
Crumpled under hard boots
And dryness
Breaks down

His mother's hand,
His father's pen,
The empty land,
The hurt within.

When I tried to write,
I could not write,
The words would not come,
Because I tried to write.

If I had let the words flow,
Perhaps I would have had a poem today.

But I didn't, so I don't.

I do not fear this state for long.
There is feeling now, where I have been numb,
I can feel,
I can feel myself coming back to life.

Skin, green, blue, brown,
Colors of you, of sky, and ground,
Blurring and mixing as we ran around,
Chasing each other in the golden dawn.

Absent then, in my happy state, were
All the thoughts and fears that now abound,
As I lapped the air as a happy dog might,
Having my life's treasure found.

Running, running, wind and grass,
Then we tumbled and rolled around,
Before we settled our quick heartbeats,
And drew each other into the ground.

I panicked, I cannot say why,
And left you lying under the sky,
Searching evermore for the same fields,
Skin, green, blue and brown.

Not so silently, that I miss it myself,
Speak a little louder to me,
I'm setting sail for the lonely isle,
Over the lonely sea.

Look, this hour, the moon rises,
Watching over the moor,
Would you wait on me, in the field,
Till it rise no more?

There is a time, after time,
This you must believe,
For I'll see you there, in that certain place,
Where there's none to grieve.

I drew her with one arm and one leg.
Why? Because I could!

I'm making things now, aren't I ?
I can choose now how
To give form
To them.

I  drew her with blue eyes,
And a red dress.

And pink lips,
And short, dark hair.
It wasn't fair
To draw her any other way,
This is how
I did see
Her in her box.

Words, man!
They don't know how I feel!
What I say comes out all wrong,
Those little devils arrange themselves at will!

They know how much I need them,
I'm a slave to them, chained to them.
I try to talk without them, think without them,
But I just can't get through to you without them!

Is all hope lost? Can I say no other things?
But wait, I know ... I know I can feel without them!

So I don't have to tell you how I feel,
I can just show you.

I see them by the wayside, groaning,
Ask them why they do despair.

"Why do you sit here sighing,
When there is so much wonder here?"

It hurts, they say, too bad to live.
The world's taken all they have to give.

One says, "I'm not a coward, I'm not scared
I've seen, and loved, and felt, and dared,

But It's this pain, you see, this throbbing hurt
That'll stop only when I'm ground down to dirt!"

I take the knife and plunge it in,
Tear off my flesh and give it to him.

He takes it, shuts his eyes; a smile.
Leaps in the air, laughing all the while.

I chop off more, hand it out,
To everyone gathered about.

The blood; it washes all away.
The flesh melts night into day.

I silently wish this to be the end,
Of having of my body this way to rend,

But no! It grows back, all of it!
Bone, muscle, sinew, bit by bit!

But I know I am not whole,
I see the big deep terrible wound,
I try to reach it by subtraction,
But my raft keeps running aground!

I turn back each time, giving of me freely,
Wishing only to be drowned.
But the sea throws me back mercilessly,
My true purpose yet to be found.

Fingers through your hair,
Digging furrows in your scalp,
With sharp nails,
Pressing down,
Scarring.
You asked for it.

Ten years ago,
We built our worlds,
One for each dream.

And set then afloat,
Each with its shining happiness,
In its own way.

Till one by one these bubbles
Were pricked, and
I was drenched
In their debris.

Now I fashion
A single new world,
And sail on.

Pitter patter
Cough cough
Pitter patter
Slow down, will ya?
Don't go that way!
Wait for me!
That way is bad!
Please listen to me!
Pitter patter pitter patter
Oh all right
Just slow down at least, all right?

The wicked, wicked man.
He took my clothes, my shoes,
My money. My leather wallet
He found it funny. But he took it anyway,
He grabbed it all and then he ran.

I could've caught him if I could stand,
He took the ring right off my hand!
And my new sunglasses, he tore them off
And left me lying in the sand.

Ah that man, that wicked man.
Couldn't some kindness been shown by him?
If he had to rob, couldn't he be gentle,
Instead of smiling his wicked grin?

I didn't see just where he went.
You see, I couldn't quite move my head.
I would if I could, but dearest reader,
I assure you I am quite dead.

The sharp angles
Of the skyline
Cut my eyes.

I turn away
And fall on to
A passing cloud.

But fall right through it,
And as I fall,
The ground is smooth and patchy.

I see birds,
And little dots going about
Their business, peacefully, below.

And now I am peaceful,
And now I wish
That I had not fallen!

The ticking of the clock
Made me look up;
But instead of its face
A protruding pair of batteries.

I turned it around,
Set it right.

It stopped.

It was seaside along the pier,
When I said, "hello, long time no see!"
A cap emerged alongside her,
I turned and let them be.

Later, I looked out over the railing
To see them lying out on the sand.
"A pleasant time to be sunbathing",
Said the woman trying to hold my hand.

I nodded and then left her there,
Following them as they returned.
I should've stopped; I'd someone who cared,
I didn't need to make a point.

But I couldn't, I wouldn't, I just walked on,
And as their key unlocked their door,
I entered; I pushed them in and shot them both
And then I shot them some more.

Chaos now. "What was the point?"
"Take him away." "We're done. We're through"
Don't you see, dearest reader,
I just had to **** them two?

My shadow by day
Shows me the way.
Can your shadow hold mine's hand ?

It looks at me, I cannot hide from it.
The rains wipe away my footprints
But they cannot hide it.
That only the moon can do, by its absence.

I know that it is
My slave, to move as I move.
But I have forgotten this.
Perhaps on some occasion, by accident,
It seemed for a moment
To grow or shrink on its own,
To move,
To make me move.

I have since forgotten, and now
Trail it where it seems to go,
Stopping when I cannot clearly see it.

A different shadow,
Moved by someone,
Comes into view.
I can look up.

My shadow by day
Shows me the way.
Can your shadow hold mine's hand ?

Shiny street, blue cobblestone over damp ground,
I see only your feet.
And your legs growing upwards from those two roots,
Disappearing under a (woolen?) bright magenta canopy.
I raise my umbrella to see the rest, but yours covers you.
Until the clouds cease their relentless mourning,
This much will have to do.

It's not too deep
I can almost touch the tips of
The weeds growing underwater
If I stretch.

If I try to stand,
I slip.
So I try to float instead.

I try to get across
Quickly, since it smells.
It smells like something died.
Like many things died.

But as my head gets stuck
In a half submerged branch,
I see him standing on the shore.

The green man.

Was I running or driving,
Or was everything else speeding past me?
I saw streaks; thin lines and thick ones,
Punctuated by gaps and other lines.
I felt faint; all emanated from some
Fixed point
Where the parallels meet.
Was I heading towards  it,
Or we're they coming forth from it?
What was it ?
I stopped and floated.

White light
Shining off the lake
From the moon above.

She stretches out her arms
And raises her gaze skyward.

Stepping one foot into the water,
A low soft long moan.

You tiptoe gingerly forward.

Play of sound, waves.
Play of light, clouds.

You crunch the gravel beneath, echoing.

She stops and turns around.

**** it, don’t let it live.
Tie a wire to it and electrocute it.

Send it crashing down a cliff,
Shoot it, dissolve it, decapitate it.

I looked in the mirror and saw my heart,
If you come across it on the street just ****** it.

After the fireworks faded away,
And the lights in people's houses went out,
The streetlamp gazed on.

In your raggedy clothes or your fine hall,
Beware! The streetlamp sees all.

Time to go
Around the sun again.

Can I get off this ride ?

What's that you say,
A non-refundable ticket?

In that case might as well make
The best of it.

The hardest part about
Growing
Is fighting
This sense of time
Running out,
Of wishing
I can do better than I did,
Wondering
What happens if I don't,
Dreading
What happens if I can't

Many black suns
Fly through my fingers,
As I close one eye
And open the other,
Pulsing in beat to my dreams.

Returning now to the scene of the crime.

I was a different man.

At a different time and a different place,
I will find one person the same

Almost had it,
I was clean again.
Got a prayer, got a mantra, got sober again.

But that was yesterday,
I ******* up once more today.
I broke up, broke down, gave in today.

I don't wanna believe it, i thought I had it.
I was feeling good, wrote a diary entry for it.

Can't give up, I've ruled that out.
It's really very tempting though, to take that route.
Got to pull myself together, and just try, try again.
Can't let everyone down, that's just insane.

But what about how I feel? I'm not happy here!
And really this is the thought that defeats me here

And brings me down and weakens me,
Destroys my immunity,
Till I just can't see
Right from wrong,
What's here and what's gone,
Till I just can't care anymore,
Like ... Who am I doing this for?

I use a word to describe a feeling.
When I have a new feeling,
Do I need a new word?
Can I use an old word?

If I thought I loved,
Could I have been wrong?
Does it mean I lied,
If I said I did,
When I thought I did,
But didn't,
and didn't know that I didn't?

If I feel something new,
Can I call it love ?

Do I still need
To call the old feeling love
Too ?

My happiness is under my control.
So what does it mean that I am unhappy?
Do I want to be unhappy?
Do I not know how to be happy?
Did I know how to be happy but have now forgot it?
Surely one of these must be true,
But which one?