I saved a voicemail you left me on the 12th of February.
You said that you hoped I had a great day, and you were proud of me.
I’ll never delete that.
Not because I don’t think your proud of me,
but because one day soon I won’t be able to hear your voice anymore.

Words swell in my throat daily, and I feel like it’s going to collapse at any second.
But it doesn’t.
I swallow. Harder. Then even harder. And eventually the lump in my throat dies along with the tears swelling in my eyes.

I go to school, life, social events, and home with my mask.
Sometimes I even wear it to bed.
WHY! I scream in my mind. I scream so loud I’m sure everyone can hear me.
But they don’t. No one can or will.

Of all the people in this world, why you, Daddy?
Why my Dad, my rock and groundwork for my success?
Why, God, would you take your most loyal servant from me?
Right. You selfish god, you.

I saw a picture of us today, Dad.
We were happy. You smiled, and I smiled. WE smiled.
Family again. Whole again.
Just to be taken, for the last time.

Daddy, I don’t want to say goodbye.
Please Daddy. I’m tired of wiping my eyes, and ruining perfectly good shirts.
You’re still happy. How?
That’s right. Because heroes don’t cry.

And neither does my Dad.

Lazily I fall into your arms
No longer am I stopped from the others alarms

I loved him so dearly , well thats what I thought
Yet , throughout our adolescence we were never taught

That even in the most hidden lies
The truth will always shine
And  we must move on through time

But that was the past
And today is today
And lazily Ill lay
in the new arms whom found me
and here I will stay .

You cannot make me love you
      but you can make me
wish that I always should have.

Just wait
That's what they say
When I talk about me meeting the girl of my dreams
But why
I mean, I will wait
I will wait for the day to come
When I'll be struck by love
But please don't imply that it is a simple task
It is far from that.
As I wait I am counting the wasted moments I could be spending with her
The unshared sunsets
The unwritten sonnets
I am drowning in a sea of unfulfilled potential
But in the end I truly don't mind for I know that the moment that I'll meet her is worth it.
Worth this loneliness
So I won't "just wait"
I will strive
Strive to be a better man
To become the one able
To hold her hand