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Knowledgehater Gonzalez
July 30, 2012 ·
Promises....
I hold u and wonder what
You'll be like when ur old
I can only promise u won't
Go hungry unloved or cold

But I can't promise ur life
Will not have pain or sorrow
But my blood, my liver, or bone
Marrow are all urs to borrow

Lol or keep but I can't promise
Ull feel accepted by peers
Can't promise u happiness
Or that u won't cry tears

I can promise to never
Steal a girl from u
But I can't promise what actions that
Other humans will do

I can promise to leave u money
My assets my ear and shoulder
But I can't promise to teach u much
But the basics when ur older

I can promise to clothe u
Or support u in ur arts
But I can't protect u from betrayal
Or a painful broken heart

I can give u all I have
And teach u all I know
But I don't have all the answers
To questions as u grow

I can't promise we won't fight
Or that u won't hear me cuss too
But I can promise that with all my heart
That I will always love u

I can promise to guide u the best
Way I know how to do
can u accept knowing i dont have to
understand u to love u

I can't promise that the boogeyman
In a way doesn't exist
But I can promise wutever demon
Haunts u, I will help u resist

I can't promise not to
Border being hypocritical to u
But it's only because I have seen what
A life of indulging can do

So I promise that I wont always tell
U wut u wanna hear
But I promise to only give my
Opinion then back off as u steer

Wutever u choose even if
It's not my favorite or i feel its not best
i will still support u if u want *******
to hold tight ur dress

cuz if that's wut u truly want
I will love u all the same
Cause ur my son no matter what u
Do or who it is u became

I promise to respect and remain
The friendship we grow to have
Just promise me you'll sympathize
when im strict ur all that i have

if u need someone to talk to
dont think u cant tell me ur sins
cause my love for u never ends like
a circle so dont keep me from things

in your life so i can help cuz
U were the one who saved my life
If ur life was an event on Facebook
I'd hit going! Comment and "like"

see how much I love u tyke?
so much I'd use a cheesy example to
Explain myself, cause looking dumb
Means nothing if it's for u

Cause I'll be the next John Q
I'd do whatever it takes
Cause that I can promise
But some things are not made

For me to be in control of and some
things are out of ur control too
But for what I can't promise I can
Promise I'll be there for u through

The pain it will bring,
And when my opera fat lady sings
I will die happy knowing I got to
Experience the most greatest thing

Which is being ur father
Cause it proved to all those that think
I wasn't capable of greatness
wrong Cause ur the greatest thing

I've ever done or I'll ever do
Next to being there for u
And I promise to do all I can do
If its possible to promise it to u

Promise to be honest with u
And to accept what I don't like
Cause in the end I'll love and support
Anything u chose to do in life

...I love u Juju

The truth is the truth *****
I rather a lie,
Living forever sounds better
Than everybody dies

Cause the truth is the
Truth *****, so just lie
Say you'll see me soon
Even if it's a final good bye

Similar to parents lies
About a kids Xmas gift
Cause more enchanting
Is the idea that Santa exists

Good old st nick
Catholics have it best
Cause heaven sounds good
As no one wants death

Like mutual break ups
Everyone knows ain't mutual
Tell the ugly duckling that
One day she will be beautiful
Tell tall tales of Atlantis
Or a fountain of youth
Tell Pinocchio he's a real boy
....Anything but the truth

Toothfairys for a tooth
Easters famous  bunny
Tell Christopher Robbin no delusion
Made Winnie the pooh eating honey

Cause in truth it's funny
The truth ain't that funny
Say the best things in life are
Free and we need no money

Cause everyday is sunny
Who u love will love u back
Family and best friends will
Never never ever stab u in the back

tell me my career wont match
my social status and ill en-devour
the same respect as a rich man
tell me love is forever

And if not it ends without pain
and will tell everyone its mutual...
Tell the ugly duckling that soon.....
soon.....it will be beautiful.....

but the truth is
The truth ***** so I'll pretend
This is just the poems beginning cuz
good things don't come to an end....

...But The truth is....
...the truth *****....

lately i feel like
your all i really got
but like everyone else i love
im the only one who talks
absent with the congregation
cant be selfish today
so i try not to bother you
with all i wont say
stomaches full of nerves
that make me feel i rot
so nervously i sweat when im
not even hot
every tear has a story
as well as salt that packs
in my tears, no wonder i
reflect so much fat
all i wants to be humble
and get my love returned
instead like the dead my hearts
needing an urn
wheres investments return
dont wanna go through this
wheres jesus christ, let him know i
have now found judas
sometimes i feel "***** this"
"that, him and her"
innocence is extinct in ones i
felt were so pure
so infered is the absurd uncured
desease that plagues me
i now understand how my
enemies passionately hate me
cause lately i hate me
so greatly as well
cant threaten me with the devil, im already
used to this hell
everyones **** ****** smells
mine and all of yours
snow white was trying to tell me
most woman are ******
in drawers of seven dwarfs
who no wonders either sleepy
***** or grumpy when will
i get a break or freebie
dark shadows pass so creepy
most people are deceitful and greedy
i swear i can almost feel
my soul wants to leave me
just like everyone leaving
loyaltys not a common relic
no wonder all we feel is so
uncalming and jealous
why cant i find strength embelished
prior used to front
but i rather be killed then *******
heartlessly hunt
and maybe thats why before you
i kneel and cry
asking for the mercy of death
i see such peace in the eye
of the one you will cry
for if they die but roughly
im jealous at funerals wondering
why im not so lucky
so in the name of the father
son and holy spirit
i pray if i dont see death today
that im hopefully near it
.....amen

I will tell my son not to do
Drugs obviously but ****
That's like priests telling child
**** peddlers it's not right to *** kids

So I'll have to resort to this:
"son please do as I say"
And not what I did and probably
Still do when grandpa for the day

Takes u away to play,
So I'll tell him things that made
Me a hypocrite so don't have ***
With girls u don't love and I'll say

Always use a ******, even though
It really takes away
From sensation like immigration
Deported it from the land of play

Never use the service of a ******
Even if she has 2 kids
And u think fukking her would help
Her feed em, cause that's just sick

But then Ill feel so guilty from my
Hypocritical ways
Like not going to church but sending
Him with his catholic school to pray

As echoes of my words that say
**** is no gateway to others
Are heard in my head but now I'll
Preach it so over protective I smother

And suffocate, and screen his dates
And call him on the phone
Until I'm that parent ur friends
Make fun of, never leaving him alone

Cause I can love myself but a clone
In my son I would hate
But if karmas real I maybe in
For a scary ride of parenthood...great

Cause as I think back I realize
That my parents would freak when they
found out about ****, which makes me think
of all they didnt know, and all I got away.....

With, and I start to flip, so I
Debate starting to hide some devices
All over my apartment and tap the
****** phone and no I don't like this

But it needs to be done,
after all He's my son
I had no ****** brain and I was
dangerous, imagine him, as a smarter one

I brought u in this world son!
So u better bet I can take u out
Now I'm saying **** I heard and said I'd
never say even though i Promised myself

I don't trust a mall Santa or his
****** ****** elf And mrs clause is a ****
Tell me the truth son! Is he ur drug
Supplier, I saw his knee under ur ****!!

Maybe I'm just paranoid plus he's
Not even one yrs old I'm trippin
But not so crazy if family guys baby is  
Accurate .....so maybe my kids a Stewie Griffin

Trying to **** his mom.....ha , ya! Good luck
I been trying for years
But can't get away wit nothin cause who you are
or were ****** .....is always prime suspect and here

Is where I try to convince myself
To just let the kid grow up, and make mistakes
The girl next store will be fine,
Let him learn on his own, not to go ****

cause its as wrong as that hyperboye was
Even if she was ...already a ***
All I want is to make sure he doesn't
Go down the same path i did, and that I know

That I'm lucky I walked through, and away from
Without dying before I had my lil dude
So Julian at 16 yrs old ima take my
Belt like old school people would do

And beat ur *** with it like it was
A million, trillion beatings in one
Then explain that it was for all the ****
U do and will do, and all that uve done

That u know u wernt suppose to do
but still did Without me knowing,
Then never say **** to him again and
pray while I support him, as hes growing

And get a pair of lawyers incase
My pair-a-noias actually apt
And maybe one day he won't hate me
For random drug tests for crack

******, ***, methamphetamines
And anything else
That feels good, as I religiously raid
His room, then end up doing the house

After finding nothing in ur room
Screaming........ where is it, where is it
I know ur up to something cause
u have my blood in u "explicit, explicit""

And ask him paranoid fuelled
Questions in anger, killing his joy
U missed ur period this month didn't u!
Don't lie to me!! .."dad ***?..I'm a boy?!!

Then embarrassed and frantic
I'll ask him If he's sure
Then hed say yes dad I promise,
I'll never be stupid as u were

...or at least I hope. Just please god
Dont let him suffer
For my mistakes. Guide him to diffrent
or I'll **** him&giv;; his name 2 his brother

Ok I'm just kidding, I want my
Kid to be living
I want him to be educated, successful
Well respected and giving

And Julian if u read this one
Day, I hope u know I worry
And maybe u don't understand right
Now but trust me u will when ur 30

A child is not a pay cheque
A child is not a weapon
A child is not a priority
You can push down to second

A child is not a bargaining
Tool, a hassle or a pain
A child did not ask to be here
So Plz use ur ****** Brain

A child is not the person
U hate that u made them with
A child is not the one who needs
An excuse to be child-ish

A child is not a doll
A child is not to be resented
A child is not ur second chance
To live through, that's demented

A child is not to blame
A child is not a bother
A child is not to be without
Either it's mother or father!!!!!!

I can't believe ur gone I'll
Always mourn the loss
I don't know where u are
Some things can't be washed

A lesson learned in loss
Now only one remains
So my eyes are clouds
Bringing the rain

Can't believe ur gone
I try to stay strong
I know I left u but I came
Back and I can't find u so our bond

Breaks like my heartaches
I'm trying to deal with the loss
only one came out of the wash
They were my favorite ****** socks

I'm shocked, I'm distraught
How do I always lose the brother
In a pair of socks so sadly in
Horror I must throw out the other

And when I do I'm so blue
Two days later when ur found
Left again with one sock so I cry
As my knees hit the ground

Screaming at the sky
Why god why?
Now I gotta throw away the
Second sock as I frantically cry