you are my muse,
the reason I am who I am.
you are my inspiration, the love I put into
the music I create, the words I write that pour
from every corner of my mind and soak onto paper.
you are the soul that has wrapped itself around mine
and will not let go, you have given me the love of my life,
you have brought what I was destined to do for the rest of my life
to light and I have to thank you every time I think of it.
you are my muse, my love.
you are the one who created the love in my heart,
the passion in my soul.
you made me feel something that most people cant imagine,
that most people think doesnt exist and cant fathom.
you are my muse,
my inspiration and power.
you are what keeps me going,
what keeps me moving toward my dream
because of your influence.
I love you, truly, I am in love with you.

pitch black,
deep abyss.
you dont see yourself,
you dont see anything but black,
you just feel you.
you feel heart thumping hard,
feeling like its vibrating the air around,
making it hot and humid.
Your eyes begin to wander around,
trying to find some refuge of light,
but you see none.

Then, you see a small glow in the mist of the black.
Such thing to you in reality would be nothing but a speck,
but now its reassurance of hope,
of a better place out of the dark,
its almost life to you itself.

But as you began to move toward it,
gravity lets you go and you began to fall,
and you keep falling.
And as you fall,
the small light that gave you so much life
begins to wither away from your sight.
Everything around begins to crumble,
your body feels heavier with every second you fall deeper,
You've given up on a scream by this point.
You feel helpless of what comes next,
of what lies ahead.
And when you've all but given up...
you awake to see the sun staring at you,
and you stare back.
There's no more falling,
there's no more uncertainty,
just the sun.

i've never seen something so beautiful
that makes me so sad , so full of envy.
i've never seen something that gives me such hope for the future,
something that fills my heart with such wonder
And still makes me so jealous and angry that I could scream.
I hate the way the birds can just fly away from their problems,
from the worries that might behold them in the world
and come and go as they please.
I despise the way the birds can can fly above the clouds
to see the sun coming and going,
how they can see the changing colors that stain the sky,
how they can seem to reach closer to the stars than us,
where my dreams carry themselves to every night.
it makes me sad when I hear the song the birds sing to each other,
or themselves, to life each other up.
the way your chirping echos in a garden,
the way your songs rings my eyes to reveal
the most beautiful sounds anyone can hear.
your song is sung with a sense of freedom,
a uproot of love and freewill,
it's all I ever wanted to make in my life.
little bird, as I watch you flitter your pretty wings above
the sun and clouds, I must ask a one question that burns the back of mind:
Do you enjoy seeing me this way, seeing me drown in despair and woe?
little bird, please tell me the truth, please give me the answer to why I feel so
strongly toward such a beautiful creature as yourself.
little bird, through it all I still think you are the most beautiful, most wonderful
creature of them all, through all my envy and such.
I love you, pretty bird.

never again will I fall for someone like the person before again,
never again will I give my little heart up so quickly,
so intensely.
it really wasnt his fault, it was mine for not looking closer
at the situation, at who he really was.
never again will I put my trust into someone who
only wanted to use me for there own gain,
for there own amusement.
never again will I let someone shatter the last of me
and leave me to pick up the pieces,
slowly putting them back together.
never again will someone waste the little time I have,
waste the moments I could’ve shared with someone
who actually deserved them all --- every second,
every distance walked in my memory.
never again will I waste the hugs, the long walks,
The longer conversation, the affectionate touches,
the kisses of the unknowing lips,
lips that were owned by lips that touched that girl and that girl and that other girl…
lips that were spoiled by mine at the same time.
never again will I put my heart where I knew it would take time and patience,
never again will I trust my heart with someone like the person before.


Now, I must make the decision to trust someone new,
someone to help me pick up the pieces and regain that feeling,
that love ive been looking for.
someone I can share the memories with,
the long walks and conversations,
the hugs and affection,
the kisses and the time it takes to actually know someone,
to really love them.

Will you help me pick up the pieces ?

she hangs on every word I say,
tells me she wants to be in the world I stay,
shes sort of falling in love,
shes sort of giving her heart.
I dont know what she wants me to do
because I really dont want it.
not saying I dont care about her,
not saying I dont feel fer her…
its just too soon,
just a little too fast.
shes in warm waters thats just going to boil over
and burn her.
I cant help who I am,
I cant help the way I feel about her,
shes just not my type.
Shes infatuated with me and I dont know why,
I am just an infatuation, a dream that she needs to come true
and I cant help her.

I cant help but get too involved with someone who catches my attention,
who I think deserves my affection.
I am prone to get too deep with someone who has
a mindset thats over the top,
that is too curious for its own good.
I cant help myself when I see a soul touched by something,
something thats so beautiful thats its hard not to see it,
not to want to experience it with them.

You might think im crazy but in reality,
thats how I express myself,
with too much affection,
too much love at once because
I have yet been able to experience that myself.
I have not yet experienced someone who can love
the way I love, the way I care.
I hate the ways of the heart,
the things I put myself through every single time,
every time I open myself up for the possibilities
of someone loving me like I love them.

And as I throw that over-used word around,
I look back and wonder why.
I wonder why and even I still havent figured out
the answer to that fawny question.
I hate the love I give,
the love that ive never received,
the love that haunts my heart.

I wonder what the future holds for a lost lover like me,
or like her, or him, or you….
the way I love isnt rare.
oh, its known for many,
the way we love is just...

She stares from afar.
Shes entranced by your eyes,
your smile.
You look up..
and she is yours.