i gave you my favorite crewneck two months ago
i still think about it all the time
you spilled something on your shirt
i offered my crewneck and said
“oh just give it back to me whenever”
it’s been two months.
i miss my crewneck, i really do
i’m pretty sure they don’t sell it anymore
but i just think about it and never ask for it back
maybe it’s because everytime you see it hanging in your closet
you’ll think of me
maybe it’s because it means i still have a reason to talk to you
even if i don’t use it
your house is only 0.2 miles away from mine
i could stop by one day and grab it
i could open the door
and say hi to your mom
and pet your dog
and give your sister a piggyback ride
maybe grab a glass of juice from your fridge
but i don’t know if i’m allowed to do that anymore
and i know your house is 0.2 miles away
because i used to track you on findmy
make sure you were home
so that if i needed someone
you would be there, just 0.2 miles away
i track other people on findmy now
isn’t it funny how things change
i got a concussion last month
things changed pretty quickly after that
i lost the ability to do a bunch of things
balance properly
form and articulate coherent thoughts
regulate my emotions
maybe i also lost the ability to communicate with you
i used to tell you everything
what new drink i was trying
what ungodly hour i went to bed
what popped into my head and had no one else to tell
now i tell you nothing
i went to a therapist last monday
you didn’t know that
i was told i have ’concussion induced depression’
you didn’t know that
i went to a neurology clinic on thursday
you didn’t know that
it’ll take at least two more months for my concussion to heal
you didn’t know that
but maybe, just maybe
when i’m healed in two months
we’ll learn how to communicate again
we’ll text and talk and call
i’ll come by your house to drink some juice
and i’ll get my favorite crewneck back
but probably
i’ll ask you for it at some point
you’ll say “oh sure”
and bring it to school the next day
and i’ll still get my favorite crewneck back
four months after i gave it to you
but i won’t get you back
and that might just be the last time i ever talk to you