I've delivered your messages
Transcribed your letters
Worn heels and tight dresses
For you the past four years

No one knows better
Your favorite tie is argyle
You like your coffee lukewarm
And you prefer the pickle on the side

It began with passion-filled glances
But soon we were taking all our chances
To share stolen kisses
In the privacy of a custodial closet

Then came the late work nights
Telling my mother we had production to boost
When the only thing you were boosting
Was me onto your paper-littered desk

And I felt *****
Even though you said you'd do nothing to hurt me
I knew it was lies because you did nothing to help me either
And I loved you

I could care less for the moon
All I want is you to no longer make me suffer
Make me a wife or a mother
Something, anything other than just your secretary/lover

All because God made my skin the wrong color.

Tonight, I saw a couple,
sitting  on the bus.  

They were holding hands
and looking at each other
in that way
that couples do.  

Looking at them...

you could just tell.

Afterwards, I saw
another couple on the train.

She sat sideways next to him,
her legs over his.  
They talked in low voices,
stealing little kisses from each other
during the pauses
in their whispers.

Looking at them...

you could just tell.

And I wonder
when you sit next to me,
your hand entwined in mine,
drinking your tea
and looking out the window

if someone were to
see MY face in that moment...

could they just tell?

A rhombus is my favorite, crooked square.
I like haunted houses with windows with faces
and fun houses with mirrors that oval circles
that distort my body two hundred degrees.

I like haunted houses with doors at right angles,
and half moon neon protractors
that blur every shape zero degrees.  
I like cubes I stack four cubes high.

I like half moon neon protractors
and scientific calculators.
I like cubes I stack ten cubes high
and old houses with ceilings that creak.

I like scientific calculators
and dividing eight billion by pi.
I like old houses with ceilings that creak
with cylindrical cans filled with old beets.

I like dividing eight billion by pi
and fun houses with mirrors that stretch right angles.
I like old houses with crooked windows,
like I said a rhombus is my favorite.

Call a                          doctor/ plumber/ priest
My heart is               broken/ leaking/ deceased
My life is                   worthless/ so much better/ over
I'm going to              **** myself/ tell your wife/ Dover
How could you         leave me/ not know/ lie?
I hope you                return my stuff/ come back/ die
I'll never                   forget you/ forgive you/ go away
I need                        closure/ a DNA test/ to tell you I'm gay
Your                           face/ crotch/ top of your back
Is                                so beautiful/ lumpy/ unusually slack
Your                           ex/ mother/ best friend from school
Always made me      great coffee/ feel inadequate/ drool
I will                           miss you/ **** you/ stalk you forever
That way we can      be friends/ get away with it/ be together
I'm sorry                   you did this/ I did this /we failed
I promise to               pay you/ dye it back/ get you bailed
Please don't               leave me/ show the Polaroids/ write or call

(*delete as appropriate, just delete it all.....)

Can I come to you as I am,
in secret-
brimming with the need to be held?
Can I lay hot whispers on your skin
then taste how they make you feel?
Can I show you how to touch me,
how hard to press?
If I cry
can I hide salty tears
in the soft curve of your neck?
Can I bite, ever so gently,
before I scream?
Can I be your lover,
without you loving me?
Can I, please?

There is no way I am coming back from this technicolor dream.

With my eyes shut,

my mouth still forms a smile.

My lips reach out into the empty dark,

hoping to find yours there waiting for mine,

This dream,

where I have found myself swimming in deep waters,

drifting with miles above me,

and miles below.

I’m falling.

I know you’ll catch me when I wake.

Felt naked with those words,
I've said it all,
No more hiding, no more walls.
Harmony and emotion tangled with each other,
mixed with lyrics that does not bother.
Yes, I cried many many times,
and did pay many heavy fines.
I Know i cannot give you the world,
all i could give are these words.
How can I deliver, Can I sing for you?
Even when we're apart,
you know I'm near.
I have given you my heart,
in my songs you'll hear.
It's yours,
and no one does it better.
No one can replace you neither,
Words that's so true,
I sing for you

(Warning this poem contains visual content
which may be considered too morbid or shocking
for those of refined and gentle tastes.)

Rock a-bye-bye, Bethy,
from the wood-beam rafter stock,
when the neck-noose tightens,
Bethy's body will twitch, sway and will rock,
the chair she kicked out shall tumble and fall,
and rock a-bye-bye Bethy, will be dead and that's all.
_____
Disturbing photographic image:
http://beautyineverything.com/2375915615