Like.
Is when your heart races.
Like a comet across the night sky.
It mirrors the fire of your passion,
And the ice of lonely fear.

Lust.
Is when your thoughts,
Like ***** smoke wind through lungs,
Mirroring your desire to devour.

Adore.
Is when little touches stop you in a thought.
Fingers intertwined,
Mirror the fingers of feelings,
Wrapping slowly around a heart that is scared.

Love.
Is when the blank slate of future,
Like a canvas stretched taut,
Mirrors the ache of your stolen heart.

One wrong word
Is a knife to my skin
An angry response
Brings self hatred
Tears falling from
Hurting you
Yelling at you
Hating myself with each moment

Blood
My blood
Flows from wounds
Brings me satisfaction
Beings me restfulness
Punishment for my anger
Blades against my skin
The hatred fades
To justification

Gauze
Tape
To hide the punishment
The blood
Healing begins

My little secret
My blood sacrifice
Burns inside me
I will not tell them
They will not know
Anytime soon
I will not worry them
They do not need pain

I deserve it
For my anger
My hatred
My mistakes

I don't care if other people
Make mistakes at me
They don't cut themselves for it
Or do they?
I don't know
I won't ask

I hope someday
My anger will dissipate
I will be able to love
Instead of hating myself
I hate the bleeding
I hate the cuts
I hate the scars

Some day I will break out
Of this cycle
I will be able and free
To be MYSELF
Not the "perfect" daughter
Friend or companion
No one will ask me to be perfect
And if they do
I won't care a bit
I can't be perfect

I want to be free
My anger holds me down
Break it
Break the anger
Set me free

I went swimming today
Twice
Which is weird because
In the past 4 years
I have been in the ocean a total of 6 times
Even though I live
In a small ocean town
Where the beach is
A short walk away
I went in the water today
Even though I have always hated
Being wet and
Salty the feeling on my
Skin is so uncomfortable
I always detested it
I went in the water today
Because I hate the person I am
And I thought that if I changed
One small part about myself
The rest could follow
And maybe if I could learn to
Love the water
I could learn to
Love myself

item: trust

directions: please protect it
                    please care for it
                    please love it

notes*: it has been misused one too many times

The beauty of evil is the good that transcends it.
We are not victims, we are survivors.

You are a canvas.
Personality paints your eyes red and your heart blue.

Nothing more than a mortal shell.
Bullocks.
Everything we adore is harbored in the backs of our eyes.

Blink.

Death stands above me, whispering low
I know not what into my ear:
Of his strange language all I know
Is, there is not a word of fear.