Fighting the sensations;
I am speechless and consumed
With nothing
       As well as everything.

The drinks all taste the same.
Conversations become dulled down
       To empty promises.

Skeletons of chandeliers;
Ghosts of past lovers.
       Memories distorted.

The inadequate use of words
Dripping off your
       slurred tongue.

I’ve been burned before,
Leaving me fearless                 in front of the fire.

Searching for a cure;
In the coffin of
                      false happiness.

Trying to balance between    
       Reality, and self-inflating lies
While I dream of falling,
       And crashing to my demise.

Two years in recovery;
Emotions disregarded.
While antibodies made homes
I created something new inside.

Have I forgotten how to feel?

Three years in secrecy;
I lived in ignorance
While whispers lie caught in webs
I discovered something new to hide.

Choosing nonentity.
A heart that is void.
Backwards living, Forward talking,
Influenced by all that is around
To grasp the idea of truth.

There is far more to all of this
Than memories, and words.

Eat the throbbing pulse;
Survival is no longer necessary.
The night disappeared into morning,
And I into another mask.

Words abused and thrown across the conversations.
The little things, bigger than what they seem.
Swallowing the truth, accepting damnation.

Don’t take my hand,
I am not yours to hold.
Leave, and take your misery with you.
A path of self-destruction,
Carving eternity with my blood.

While I am left
Devoured, and numb--
Choosing ignorance
While I play the part of the coward.

Your lies, become mine.
An abundance of false happiness,
incognito,
It’s own disguise.

Pavement eating us alive.
Life pulsing all throughout the fire.
Hiding is not an option,
When it comes down to destruction and desire.

I prayed for sanctification;
Was awakened by tears.
A devastating crash,
That lead to the death,
That was fed by my breath;
I cannot take back that which I did not take.

Do not ask for my reason,
You were never so sure;
When you are forbidden to understand my rhyme.
Disease stricken, left with no cure
After all--
One can only borrow time.

I don’t plan on ******,
Nor do I plan to sit under the clouds of doubt.
The course that was chosen
May not have been correct,
Now I am left frozen
With little respect.

The world around, in chaos as it spins,
but I only feel the stillness
Of your heartbeat fading.
A life full of turmoil and sins,
Until you confess
Of a life that is degrading.

Currents take me and make me
Fight harder to reach the shores;
An argument of morals and values
When suddenly your voice roars
And boasts of better times.
You have lost that which was not found.

The explosion was full of toxins,
My poison seeps out my bloodstream.
Thoughts twinkle and die
When they try to hide
In the shadows that do not welcome a soul;
A darkness so deep once it was sold.

Nightmares after each waking,
And now my words are what you are taking.
While I am left baron, and empty
When it is I who has left me
For a better place where one can save face;
Silently
        Wiping the tears away

In death we acknowledge our names
For the very first time,
Willing to engrave into stone
That which we once knew.

Escape the voice
That lives inside,
Closer than that which is seen.
A junction of trespassing.

Was I asleep?
You are who I have become,
And I am living a life of invisibility.
One step behind.

Exactly where we are,
Asking who do you think I am.
A full upright position,
Imposing on the question of love.

Tricks in the bag,
Tricks you cannot find;
Love me/hate me/snub me/shake me
Into a new persona of a simple mind.

Sit down and stumble on your questions.
Your own answers already known.
Convincing lies told as truth;
We are the all seeing all dancing
Low-life's  of the world.

I am who you want to be,
Free in all aspects, and views
Of courage.
Of running.
Wrestling our past,
Watching memories

                                                       ­                                     Disappear.

You’ve got the mountain in your eyes,
And I’ve got no more money.
Was I ever capable of all that you thought I was
Or was that the standard operation?

Your lonely ways disguised in your actions,
In your words
I find your silence.
Kept out of respect,
Even after knowing I could never love you.

I fell hard onto the concrete.
You wore a different pair of shoes.
Rolling down the asphalt,
I can’t take for granted that which I never took.

Blood drips from your shoulders.
Scars devour my body from head to toe.
There is no more room for conversation,
You practice distance from around the corner.

Past the lake that made the man,
Into the ink that has transformed
The way I interpret your                                    
                                                                                        everything.

Another man enters, and I confessed.
He was astonished, while I felt a longing
for Your ice stained eyes.

I know that which burdens me,
That which may have spread
into you through
My touch, your lovers tendencies.

But there is no connection
That could get past the infection.
Lies have built up, and clotted inside my heart.
Black and blue designs,
This bruise is so stubborn,
And it cannot be defined.

further more, further more upon that twisted path
a labyrinth of minds emotions
trying to re
live
                               the past.
chunks of time taken from inside
memories fasding fast--
in the shadows you try to hide
but the present is where one cannot find;
hidden in what is lost.

Lost lovers, love lives
hiding under covers,
where one should never estimate over
the bridge that builds trust and ships.
Ships that sail across the sand,
so dry and desolate.
Here you take what is not yours,
and embrace the
starving
                 quiet.

Practicing in the dark,
the curtains have all burned.
A star shoots across the carpet,
and falls
on
   to
      the
floor.

Desperate faces, lost in the maze,
and nothing is ever going to change
unless you take
that first
step
and then accept
what it is
that they call
                           death.