I reached grumpy old man status when I was 5 and The Land Before Time threw me into an existential crisis.

My mental age is accelerating at an alarming rate. Possibly 3X faster than the average human. Maybe even 4. Given my cynical disposition (Grumpy Old Man Syndrome), crew socks, boxers and claim to the recliner - it doesn’t appear to be gender specific in accordance with traditional gender roles. My newfound interest in wicker furniture is a strong indicator that it won’t be long before I am browsing ceramic cat figurines at the local flea market.

A recommended Rx to reverse damage and encourage a more youthful and chipper propensity would be greatly appreciated by those who have to look at my face on the reg. Thanks in advance.

When I was a child
rainbow weather made me feel strange.
Like I was in a parallel universe
or on another plane
in a foreign realm
where nothing true was sane.

To this day I don’t like rainbows.

When I was a child
my imaginary friend left me
because his friends didn't believe that I existed.
I had never felt so alone.
We talked of traveling the world
and when he left I missed it.

To this day I don't have friends.

When I was a child
I believed a thought bubble lingered above my head
that everyone but I could see.
That one day Id get caught
thinking something I should not
so it made me mindful of my thoughts.

To this day I am deliberate with expression.

When I was a child
I wanted to swing a sword
but I was small and full of fright.
A timid little creature
haunted by her torture.
Always a squire, never a knight.

To this day I am humbled by my mortal odyssey.

There is never going to occur a universal agreement on any matter in existence or any idea not yet conceived. It is impossible to our universal laws of physics. Our universe is balanced through opposition of not just the tangible, but the intangible. Power will always shift as it has since the beginning. Back and forth we will infinitely teeter in all things, especially where human consciousness is concerned. And why? The ego. The ******* ego that is so very prevalent from birth.

This is an ultimate truth, at least as far as this universe is concerned. Possibly, in a parallel that operates solely on a set of laws that we lack the mental capacity to contrive, is there a singular solution to anything. Unfortunate for us, we are currently existing in this one so it is high time we accept it.

**** on that Kimberly comprised brain juice.

Here I walk in the midst of the end of time
Chained to your memory
Tarnished, yet functional

Here I stand in the midst of the end of time
Pierced by your thorns, I let it bleed, admiring your work
You drove a blade through my heart and gave me a tool to refine the edges of my soul

Here I sit in the midst of the end of time
Your existence is a drug, and with no desire to rehabilitate, I call everyone by your name
I am swimming in uncharted seas. Swimming in currents of insanity.
Knowing that you will never return, but forever hoping you'll arrive anyway

Here I lay in the midst of the end of time
I cry myself to sleep saying your name
I look across the room thinking I hear you answer me
Until I realize I never opened my lips, and you aren’t there at all

Google was Co-Founded in 1998. Coincidentally, this was the same year that the genetically enhanced lab mice, Pink and the Brain, went off the air. Does this prove that they did, in fact, finally succeed in taking over the world?

If you love something too much it will literally **** you.  Steve Irwin, Amy Winehouse, Houdini, Marie Curie, Romeo and Juliet....all those people in Jurassic Park.

I want to lay my head on your chest and listen to the melody of your blood flowing. I want to breathe your air and seep into your psyche because your soul is so energizing that I could plug every star into it and you would light my universe for the rest of eternity. With you, the stars would never die.

He teased my love of the stars
and played with my passion for the moon
We witnessed time together
and interpreted it the same

I would lay my head on his shoulder while tangled up in grace
as he mirrored my sentiments and I devoured his ideas
Over time this severed the seams I had sewn along the fault lines of my injured heart

He had power over my pulse
He had dominion over my breath
My chest would rise and fall because he willed it to
And would halt if he wished it so

I delighted in his warmth
His breath tilted my soul
Every time it tickled my neck
I lived the sonnets of Shakespeare

I realized he could make me disappear so abruptly
by the way he would ready the sails of my mind to carry me away
He was always waiting patiently for my return
without judgment
with a grin and open arms

Sometimes you feel so inferior that you will tear away the flesh of anyone in your path to simply ascend. You are struggling to breathe. Sometimes you are suffocating so intensley that you will slay the souls of anyone in your path in your colloquy. Sometimes you will set tempers ablaze from the embers within your belly. Sometimes you scar fabricated memories with truth.  

Sometimes your heart burns to a degree that can and will collapse stars. Sometimes your temperament will destruct star systems.

Sometimes all you are capable of is cremating worlds. Embrace it, mother dragon. On every plane in every realm. You burn for eternity. You are the personification of hell.

Sometimes I feel like quantum mechanics - like I belong in the quantum realm because I behave uniquely in accordance to the every day laws of life as you understand them.

You are an unpolished and self destructive version of someone to everyone.

Your wind tilts my inner nature – causing wildfires
My own flame singes my soul
The pain reminds me that I am alive
With a stomach full of coal

The ash feeds my inner beast
My lunar spirit howls
It nurtures my insanity
Until my spirit growls

I feast upon your blood
As you swim within my womb
My flesh does house your succubus
And you, you house my tomb.

The realm that I exist in is not of man. Nor is it of angels or demons. It is not among the dead, but rather, it is interlaced between all of these entities.  It is place where very few have gathered and few ever will. You see, to be in touch with my senses and more so with my soul is a difficult matter. It is overwhelming to be face to face with ideas that are so rational they drive me mad. Here, I create my own insanity…except the word insanity doesn't exist. This is where the confusion begins. Here, there is peace, happiness and sorrow…mostly sorrow.  Being at peace does not mean that I am happy. It means that I have accepted what has been, what is, and what is to come. The brief happiness that I may encounter will not be lasting. It is something that should be held onto with a firm grip and appreciated while it is mine, for the other will never take the time to look into the depths of my spirit and if they do - they surely will not stay for reasons only he and I will ever be aware of.  The sorrow is in knowing that I will forever remain here. On this couch, in this rocker, on this step…anywhere and everywhere…immobile. The truth in my existence is evident.  In this kind of life, I create the most beautiful, honest, and humble forms of literature, painting, and music that will ever exist...inside of my own mind. The world will never get a chance to experience it due to the fact that I am paralyzed by this rare state of consciousness in which I am imprisoned.