I reached grumpy old man status when I was 5 and The Land Before Time threw me into an existential crisis.

My mental age is accelerating at an alarming rate. Possibly 3X faster than the average human. Maybe even 4. Given my cynical disposition (Grumpy Old Man Syndrome), crew socks, boxers and claim to the recliner - it doesn’t appear to be gender specific in accordance with traditional gender roles. My newfound interest in wicker furniture is a strong indicator that it won’t be long before I am browsing ceramic cat figurines at the local flea market.

A recommended Rx to reverse damage and encourage a more youthful and chipper propensity would be greatly appreciated by those who have to look at my face on the reg. Thanks in advance.

When I was a child
rainbow weather made me feel strange.
Like I was in a parallel universe
or on another plane
in a foreign realm
where nothing true was sane.

To this day I don’t like rainbows.

When I was a child
my imaginary friend left me
because his friends didn't believe that I existed.
I had never felt so alone.
We talked of traveling the world
and when he left I missed it.

To this day I don't have friends.

When I was a child
I believed a thought bubble lingered above my head
that everyone but I could see.
That one day Id get caught
thinking something I should not
so it made me mindful of my thoughts.

To this day I am deliberate with expression.

When I was a child
I wanted to swing a sword
but I was small and full of fright.
A timid little creature
haunted by her torture.
Always a squire, never a knight.

To this day I am humbled by my mortal odyssey.

There is never going to occur a universal agreement on any matter in existence or any idea not yet conceived. It is impossible to our universal laws of physics. Our universe is balanced through opposition of not just the tangible, but the intangible. Power will always shift as it has since the beginning. Back and forth we will infinitely teeter in all things, especially where human consciousness is concerned. And why? The ego. The ******* ego that is so very prevalent from birth.

This is an ultimate truth, at least as far as this universe is concerned. Possibly, in a parallel that operates solely on a set of laws that we lack the mental capacity to contrive, is there a singular solution to anything. Unfortunate for us, we are currently existing in this one so it is high time we accept it.

**** on that Kimberly comprised brain juice.

Here I walk in the midst of the end of time
Chained to your memory
Tarnished, yet functional

Here I stand in the midst of the end of time
Pierced by your thorns, I let it bleed, admiring your work
You drove a blade through my heart and gave me a tool to refine the edges of my soul

Here I sit in the midst of the end of time
Your existence is a drug, and with no desire to rehabilitate, I call everyone by your name
I am swimming in uncharted seas. Swimming in currents of insanity.
Knowing that you will never return, but forever hoping you'll arrive anyway

Here I lay in the midst of the end of time
I cry myself to sleep saying your name
I look across the room thinking I hear you answer me
Until I realize I never opened my lips, and you aren’t there at all

Google was Co-Founded in 1998. Coincidentally, this was the same year that the genetically enhanced lab mice, Pink and the Brain, went off the air. Does this prove that they did, in fact, finally succeed in taking over the world?

If you love something too much it will literally **** you.  Steve Irwin, Amy Winehouse, Houdini, Marie Curie, Romeo and Juliet....all those people in Jurassic Park.