Another life is over,
Fallen at my feet.
I did not mean to **** her,
Things like this just happen.

But then come the days,
The days that I miss her
And I wonder about,
What could have been.

The moment comes back:
The knife on her skin,
The red blood trickling out,
The way I had hated her.

But now I realize,
It was not hate I felt.
It was the heat of the moment,
And now she is dead.

I think to myself,
And figure there is no way,
Of getting her back,
I must move on with life.

Life that has its ups and downs,
Life that has its rights and wrongs.
But most importantly,
Life without my girl.

Please just tell me once again
Whisper softly in my ear
Fill my head with pretty lies
So I forget that death draws near
Give the demons angel's masks
Make this a joyful masquerade
Drink and dance and laugh and sing
'Til violently Hell's toll is paid
When the boney knife is drawn
And halos start to fall away
Close my eyes with heavy hands
Remind me of a brighter day

when i was young
i was told that there would come a day
when i would understand

when i would understand
what it meant to love someone more dearly than myself
what it meant to love

i thought i knew
because i saw a few movies and i had my family
i thought i knew everything

but i was a child
and as i grew i learned that i knew few things
other than being a child

it wasn't 'til i saw her
that i started to understand what they had told me
that i started to understand

gradual glances and smiles
conversations about nothing for no reason from nowhere
seeing through eyes not to them

touching hands
touching hands and being happy with existence
taking solace in each others arms

joining lips and thoughts
joining smiles and knowing that the world is imperfect
knowing that we are perfect

you're just a child
but there will come a day when you understand
what it means to love

What am I these days?

I feel as though I am a phantom.

Walking through this life

Without a purpose, without a care

But I know that is false.

The words of the devil.

I am a daughter of His.

But I am like the prodigal son.

Eating with the pigs.

I want to feel Him.

Hear Him.

See Him.

Yet how can I allow it?

The way that I am.

I should be cast into Hell.

I chose imperfection.

Over Perfection.

Can I just change my mind?

Fall in love with Perfection?

All over again?

I hear that I can.

I feel His voice.

In the back of my head.

Answering, Yes..yes.

My darling, I miss you.

Let me hold your cares.

Let go. Be free.

Behind the youth room, sitting on the pavement, I think of past times.
I sit quietly and submerse my mind in the memories…
And I wonder, if I leave, will I ever come back and do this again? Feel the sweet nostalgia?
Will I tell my kids about these memories?
Will I tell them about the ones that haunt me as well? The ones I wish I could forget?
I think I will. I wish my parents had emphasized on the horrific things those memories do to you.
Weeds overrun Ashleigh’s and my old meeting place.
Our drainage grate where we told secrets have been overtaken by bushes.
“My chest hurts a lot today.” “And when I look back, I see you waving”
-Grizzly Bear, Fix it