Gasping for breath
Again.
How many times
Should I pretend?
Smiles and laughter
Scratches and nightmares
After.

Preening and playing
Screaming and bingeing
Contemplating.
Parties with liquor
Bleeding and bruising
Stupor.

Watching and curious
Withering and unconscious
Hideous.
Caress my broken soul
Maybe my spirit's just an empty
Hole.

You stole my heart
Right out of my chest
But I guess that's okay
I planned on giving you the rest.

You are controlling my mind
To think about you all day
But you'll come to find
I don't mind feeling that way.

But there's rules for you
If you stole my heart
It's only fair I steal yours too
So give me the key or I'll break in

I'll take over your train of thought
For its your time to be taken
Stare at me and try not to get caught
Love is such a sneaky game.

Here's a secret to keep between you and me
In my dreams it's only you I ever see.

Tears streak down my face
What a non-seductive grace
They stain my cheeks for a short time
Another ugly feature I must call mine

I look myself up and down
No wonder my lips have always formed a frown
I remember the days where I stood up proud and tall
A showcase of perfection portrayed to all

I remember the days where everything was great
But suddenly my appreciation was handed in too late
They no longer smile at me
With a desire for my attention
They now only cast smiles of covered pretension.

Does it ever occur to you
That your face appears in
My thoughts and dreams
And everything in between?

Or should I assume
That like my silly humor,
You just think of me like a joke
And nothing more?

Do you believe in us,
Or is the thought so absurd
That it would only pop up
In your head as sarcastic nonsense?

Could it really be only me
That feels these feelings,
Or are you hiding them
Like an elementary school boy does?

Am I only wasting my time
Wistfully dreaming about you-
Or are you
Secretly dreaming of me too?

Here's to the moments
No one wants to remember
Because those moments
Are usually the ones
We remember the most.

What's going through my head
I could never tell you
Because like most things in this world
They are just better left unsaid
But if you must hear
I'll tell the tale of love and grace
Or, perhaps, nothing of that place
Because my mind is filled with fear
Of all the things nobody should ever hear
While it shoots down to my perception
It's trying to become something like perfection
At its best, it's wings will soar
And the vibrations of its movements will give you chills
Then it takes off with you struggling atop its back
And tries to teach you the secrets of the hills
How up and down they form a *****
That science tried to put into logic
At an incline of x and a height of y the hill reaches this point at xy feet in elevation
Yes nature is nothing of the sorts
That can be solved in a complex math equation.
Nor is it of the sorts
To be tampered with
But we do
And nature is nothing of the sorts
To be carelessly wasted
But we do
And yes nature is a gift that should be showcased
But we don't
And as I'm straddling the back of this horrible creature from my mind
Flying through this world and making illusions in my eyes
To see the way it wants me to see
With fear, despair, and some mutant mix of both that I can't quite explain
There's nothing more for me to think
Except the thought that we've ruined
What's been given to us
And that what our future generations will find
Is the mess we created out of our freedom
And the remnants like a party once its over
All this garbage we simply left behind.

For all the times it's been said
For all the times you've been misled
To all the tears you quietly spill
To all the memories that give you chills

Like all the stars burning too far away
Like all the dreams you wanted to stay
How all the years that went by real slow
How all those people just didn't know

When all that time you faded dull
When all your limits got stuffed too full
And all you've done is tried to stay in line
And all your mouth could mutter was
"I'm fine"