The darkness calls out my name
When I walk past it's yawning hole.
It reaches out fingers like a gnarled tree base
and brushes them against my face.
It leaves a trail, moist and humid.
I settle into the abyss.
My thoughts and body laid to rest.

I don't have a lot of optimism left,
Had that trampled out a while ago.
With good for nothing people and crushed dreams.
Again and again stomped upon.
I don't have memories left,
Of good times i once had.
Write it off to disappointment and heartbreak.
I don't have much left,
Having had everything wrung out.
Look at me as a shell.
Holding a vacuum within.

You saved me,
From my destructive self and hormonal imbalance.
From intrusive people and ruthless ideas.
You were there,
to tell me to open my eyes.
To push me forward when I almost gave up.
You said I should think before I act,
So I never learnt.
You took away my mistakes and experience.

I wonder who these bosses think they are, bossying me around like some kind of slave. Tea
at 8,tea at 10,tea in between every break. Do they
know the fatigue from the stairs? I sincerely doubt, not with their password controlled elevators.
The other day one of those big men amused me. Mbu tell me Celia, why do u charge the same price even for people who take no sugar. I barely held bac insults and instead said, now if I were to charge according to how much sugar you take, I would charge those that take the price of quarter a kilo since I neither buy in spoons nor cups. And then for you that don't take sugar I would charge for the fuel used to boil the water.
hmph, men!!

After I am gone,
I want you to find me again,
as my essence walks along the streets ,
searching for something I can't define.
I want you to look at me,
See me in the smile of a hurried woman.
remember me.
If your eyes meet mine,
recognize a love you had once.
The kisses that made you lean closer.
The scent you couldn't help yourself from whiffing.
If you find me,
Remember me,
And our love.

I am a puzzle,
When completed I am a masterpiece,
But now I sit here unfinished at the hands of a five year old.
I am the half bitten cookie,
That the five year old left out on the table to be tossed in the garbage.
I am an ice cube,
That unfortunately missed the cup and now lays on the floor,
Still strong and solid but partially puddled in sorrow.
I am an old bridge,
A few years ago I was glowing with beauty,
Now I sit here broken, unusable and instead of glowing,
All I cast is a dark and lonely gloom.
I am our love,
Something that could be magical,
But instead is a chess game of emotions never to be finished.
You are that five year old,
Leaving me in the dust unfinished and broken.

She tells you she’s going to sleep,
She doesn’t.
Instead she cries,
Not the soft somber kind of crying,
The heavy kind of crying,
The kind of crying that puts you in a whirlwind of emotion,
People say crying helps, this kind just puts you farther down under.

She cries because her dad, who was recently let go,
Stumbles through the door every night reeking of whiskey and tobacco,
And then goes on to bruise her,
As bad as he bruised his wallet gambling just a couple hours before.

She cries because her mom,
Struggling with a crystal **** addiction,
Abandoned the family,
And with it abandoned her heart.

She cries because she caught her boyfriend,
The only pure thing in her life,
With her old best friend,
Who’s probably the farthest thing from pure.

That night the clouds cry too,
It rains all night,
‘They understand me’ she thinks,
Tonight,
Maybe she will join them.