At least my subconscious
Knows not to feel guilty
Anymore for kissing strangers
Or people from my past
In my dreams. I don't have
To pretend it was only
Him now. It's rather nice.

And so I end Christmas in
Tears just hoping you feel
At least a little bit sorry for
The way you are. But then,
That's the problem; hope.
It's silly to have hope that
You act any different from
Usual. But still I hope for
Many things. Like that you
Read all the things I write,
For you are the fuel. I hope
That doesn't make you feel
Special though, it just means
You know how to break things.

Distract me from my
Thoughts for I can't
Bear to think them

Kiss away the many
Tears I have shed

Hug me 'til all the
Air escapes my lungs

Hold my hand and
Tell me it's all right

Simply sit here with me in
Silence, for I cannot
Stand to be alone.

I’ve been resisting and holding
Back so many thoughts and actions.
More poison running through my
Very veins than I can handle.
**** you for causing all this
Hatred to build up in my heart.
**** you for so many things.
I don’t think I can forgive you,
But I’ll sure try to forget.

It's funny that the reason
You ended our future together
Was because for years you
Had not thought about what
You wanted, yet you've never
Thought about anyone else's
Needs in you're life. Bit of a
Bullet I've dodged there.

I used to believe in loving
Someone forever.

Forever just seemed to end
Sooner than I expected.