The fingertips upon my neck stunk of stale cigarettes
the breath upon my face of smoke. I  handed over my
dreams with such disdain. My mind was elsewhere, was
I to blame? The moon above me soothed my mind as the
tears rolled down my face, hurt I could not hide. Now I'm
such a mean girl, he took my life, ruined my world.

The morning brought this different sort of light.
My view on the world was never the same.
You told me all these things and to me, I
was forced to believe. I watched you from
the corner of my eye as you'd drive. You
held my hand on the seat between us... I
could see all these worries in your eyes but
every time you'd say "No, i'm fine." I sat on
the seat as your father cooked, watching his
worn, tattooed hands move as he smiled.
You later told me the restaurant would be
closing and you feared the addiction would
enter his mind once again, All I wanted to
do was ease yours. Though I loved you so
I had to let you go, I couldn't put you in the
way, I couldn't let you become victim to me.
To the real me. It was the hardest thing I ever
had to do. Your father was me and I was he.
You hurt and I didn't want to be responsible
but in the end it was worse. I'll always remember
your eyes in the morning light and your skin
against mine but in the end... I know you'll be
fine.

Can I write my eulogy?
Tell the people what they think of me.
Can I write my eulogy?
Speak the words they said of me.
Can I write my eulogy?
Stand as the tears stream down your face
and watch as you embrace.
Can I write my eulogy
For you to read. Read it word for word.
Don't tell a lie. Don't say you loved me
and you never got a chance to say goodbye.
I'll write my eulogy. The truth will it speak.
I'll write my eulogy and everyone will
speak of the REAL me.

There's a sadness in the air.
Holding tightly on the throats.
Of all the little children and their
gentle child hope. There's a sadness
in the air, pressing tightly to the
lips. Of all the lonely lovers and the
hated that they miss. There's a sadness
in the air,squeezing lightly on the
hand of the victims and their loved
ones and the things for all they stand.
There's a sadness in the air leaking
doubt into the minds of angels and
their charges, sounds like a terrible
moaning rhyme.

I'm a nighttime lover, a day time wanderer
I'd bathe in the light of the moon
and turn my back to the suns rays.
In the filthy haze of the morning, last
nights sins are tattled on by the light
of day and if I had my way i'd sleep
through the dawn til dusk and i'd laugh
at the idea of ever needing the sun. I'd
kiss my mates lips and we'd lie side by side
til he slipped away and i'd retire for the day
and nobody would ever cast a judging glance
because my indiscretions wouldn't be laid
out before the world they'd still be in the
dark, with me. I'd be free to do whatever
I wanted with whomever I pleased. I'd be
free to talk to the man on the moon and tell
him i'd wish he'd been my first, to tell him I
wish i'd never told a lie, and I wished I had
said goodbye after the first punch, the first
time. I wish i had a clear mind and not bogged
down all the time. I'd call him a stranger and
tell him all about my life and he'd hold me and
say it will all be alright. And maybe then i'd
hope less for it all to end...I'm a nighttime lover
a day time wanderer stuck in the shadows of
weak kneed plunder and sometimes i'd be happy
to be alive though most of the times, i'd wish
i'd just died.

You're coffee and a cigarette on a hot sunny day.
Right before the sun hits the sweat beads just to be swept away by the tossing and turning from unfamiliar light.
You're the drawn out stretch, the first day breath, the belated sigh of loneliness.
You're the reason the moon kisses the sky before the dark even has a chance to.
You're the shutters and the smiles cast into the late night before residing with a lover or a pet.
In all honesty... You're the one person i'm terrified to forget.