I sat at the trainstation at 7am and the temptation to jump under the train was so great I nearly did
But I couldn’t because I forgot my shoes at your place and I had your smokes and key in my pocket
The security walked past me and tears ran down my face making the path for more of them to travel down
I got on a train and it was cold I didn’t want to sit in the quiet carriage I rested my head on a window
I cried rain but then sun shined and maybe it was going to be all right people talked about their lives I heard them
And then I cried again
And again
And again
And again
And I still do I wish it stopped but
I want someone to really care about me or maybe just like me a little that would be great as well
Im sorry I’m such a **** person.

**** everyone
Better go read a book.

I put my cigarette out on my thick dead skin
I feel no pain, I see no sin
I bleed with ink and ash falls
Off my foggy head.

During the autopsy
Kind pathologist  will find the ashtray
In the web of darkened   arteries
Some other gray day

During my days of eternal physical struggle
The roads of dirt made my feet bleed tears
I’ll go to sleep once I wrap myself with fears

4am
Knows everything
4am has seen me naked
Crying alone
Maybe once  on someone’s shoulder
4am
Has seen me dancing, happy mind wrapped in intoxication

In the cold light of morning
We are the most honest beasts
Before the day is calling
Faces are grey, soul is clear.

4am
You sleep through it
Bed toasty warm
Whose body is it with you
Dreaming with you through storm?

4am
Got me an A in history
4am
Showed me the most beautiful sunrises
Pushed me into Morpheus arms
At 4am
There are no disguises.

you never know
what turn your life takes next
for life is raw.

what is the next insane folly
you are to play next?
Stare in eyes of your Dolly
But never kiss her*

Nothing really matters
In the sea of time that is given
Write more letters
For days will pass by,
And they will be the only thing to remember.

Do insane things,
Get some cigarettes at 2 am
While drunk and naked.

Forget something,
Or keep it to remember
In  warm month of November
Overflow with joy.

Dance around the church naked with your friends
Laugh hard and drink quickly
One day it’s all going to end
So do it weekly.

is transparency of a soul is to be admired?
im so tired
so many things and so little time
id rather have my hands wired
your mouth lied
i've put my believes in a wrong person
my thoughts of you are better than your being
i was willing
did not happen
keeps me happy
maybe ill get a chappie
words are like water,
taking whatever shape  you please
there is no release
from mandatory human form
rosehip has the most thorn
makes no sense anymore
my soul is a little sore.