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Kida Price Apr 2015
She's crash test dummy
If her life doesn't exist
It makes the collision that much more funny
In the name of science
And good intentions
She makes men smarter
And inspire their pensions
Crash her once
My love didn't work
Crash her twice
Just by being a ****
Crash her thrice
Cause I wasn't there
Don't crash 4 times
The dummy is out of spares
But it's alright
It's just a test
If I really loved her
Then her life would be a success
No broken pieces
No cracked face
No mixed emotions
Pouring out all over the place
If she were real
The impact would be set gently
If she drew breath
Her lungs wouldn't be empty
She's a crash test dummy
And they move from time to time
Sometimes mine cries
When she's out of the reach of my eyes
Her heart could be damaged
But that's what she agreed
She'll suffer any demolishing pain
If it means the love of me
Though the pain outweighs the pleasure
The sobs outlast the laughter
She can be teary and smiling
And with a combo like that
Makes a human seem so inhumane
So a dummy she has become
My dummy in the least
I test to she if she'll become real
And she never tests me
Kida Price Mar 2015
Strive for the best
Live through the worst
Fight off the itch
I'll never come first
Selfishness
Comes with a price
If you're not alone
You have to pay it twice
Reach for a glass of courage
Slap
Light the up the fumes
Slap
Grasp for the knife
Slap
**** out the light
Fine
Awake and confined
No zephyr propelled cloud
To guide my dreams tonight
Look into the dark
Fear myself more than it
Feel what you don't
Hate myself for it
Crave snaps into my brain
****** thoughts in violent refrain
Not just a bad day
I can handle all that
I can only say
I've had nightmares before that
Craze
Frenzy
Thirst
Angry
Wheezing
Groping
Never hoping
Memories pierce
Hatred provoking
I can literally feel myself choking
But you'll be satisfied
If I do it silently
Sobriety makes me wish myself
Into nothing
Live in my head
Not a happy tenant
Force words out into the void
In hopes to be repentant
But I sin more than I breathe
And it difficult when I have no air
Just laying awake and screaming in silence
So not to wake one sleeping near
Guess I'll accommodate
They say they'll accept me
But not my self hate
It's unattractive
And looks poorly on me
Though it's my beings natural majority
I fear it's just a matter of time
When my good intentions
**** up my life
Kida Price Feb 2015
Drown it down
Spell it out
Use my brain
For what you're thinking about
Crush the ash
Take a bash
Take a harder hit
To make it all last
Clench your fist
Grind your teeth
Feel the sweat
Pour out of me
Make the martyr
**** the king
Play whatever you want
Just let me ******* sing
Mark my words
Lay it in my skin
An angel outside of my eyes
But a demon within
Shoot the ****
Pull the trigger
Itch the spot
Till the wound grows bigger
Fester now
No use for a cure
I've suffered this disease
Long before dying on the floor
Whisper my name
Scream it in hate
Son of the father
The ***** was born to desecrate
Nail the tracks
Hammering falls
Spear through my side
But I can still crawl
Force my hand
Knuckles break
No more fingers of mine
I can use to take
****** drips
Drip past my eyes
It made the power
To see past all lies
Smile wide
Laugh if you can
It can only mean
You know not what I am
Trust me blindly
Leave me your mind
There's always something in there
That I will find
Just don't sentence me to life
Kida Price Feb 2015
You speak first
I'll listen intently
What's in the box?
I'll open it gently
The creases are wound tight
But the container is bulging
I'll gladly release
What's bound in your psyche
Our scars are alike
The timeline just placed separately
Our hands both broken
Together we're filthy
In our eyes
We hope for innocently
But we know better
We've seen where this is going.
What's in mine, you ask?
I'll share reluctantly.
Fumble through words
And phrase so clumsily
To piece a thought
And a feeling together recklessly.
You wonder more each time
I voice myself what I think to be
Completely.
And now a stand still
Mirror images waiting for the other to blink first.
Our fingers tremble on the trigger
Held lovingly against our heads
Either you, or I or both
Die this instantly.
What's in my brain box?
What's the absent of emotion you try to assume?
Do I stay this calm
Once you've exited the room?
Is my pulse and flatline
Too hard to handle?
Do I confound your resolve?
Am I a prize on your mantle?
Are you not satisfied
When I revert my eyes?
I can stop staring
Whenever you like?
I remember once saying
One day it won't be enough
To want companionship
And then it being something you couldn't trust.
Has that day come?
Shall I store you as well
Inside my brain box?
Through music and words and pictures now documented
That you exist in my world
Of mere false images
You've played your game well
You stepped inside my hollow shell
And filled it with your memoirs
Of your own private hell
Bouncing around and entangling yours
With mine as well.
I may not feel much
And my mimic to do so maybe slightly out of touch
And loving is just another one of those crutches
I love many
Too much
And this race to my heart
Has left it hardened and crusted
And now my brain box has no bottom
Things just fall out
And those who can't fathom it
Tend to walk out
So why the need to know what's inside?
You'd know your brain box better than I would know mine.
Kida Price Feb 2015
Call me Eve
It seems fitting
The vessel of which original sin
Was sitting
Take a bite
Feel the idea of your choices
Chained to your brain
Unfeeling
I've marked you with me
The big guys is upset
I've made perfection
Seem like a fiery pit
As long as you don't choke on it
As your throat swells around
And I'm nowhere to be found
I'm on another mission
Feeding the fruit to others around
I guess it's what I'm made to be
Knowing the consequences
But keeping the sin for me
I'm sure you needn't care
You took the biggest bite
Then claimed you were unaware
Just as long as I'm there
Taking the blame
Absorbing the shame
Breaking the frame
Of my cynical brain
I'm the stereotype of why the atonement was made
I take it gladly
When all others are afraid
Come in close
And whisper my name
Forget your own
That's the fruit in play
The game of wills
Its my kind of game
No one lasts as long as I
I'll explain the rules
But never the prize
And see the strategy in my eyes
I'll make it known
My purpose comes with a warning label
You read and accept
Feeling strong and able
Sweep the conditions under the table
The taste is sweet
But the effects are fable
I warned you, Adam
And now it's my fault
The sin was ours
But I saw it first
And now I must sin
To quench my thirst
Kida Price Feb 2015
Quick as sand through a hole
Collecting down further
To the whole
They fall to preach
Of a time now spent
Still a bit left
Not enough to repent
Pray my sand leaks out
Through a crack
Or shattered glass
I need not know
How long I'll last
A moment here or there
Of hidden joy
Go out with a bang, dear
Don't obsess of time wasted
Can't go back
The sand has risen
And all you are to do
Is to let yourself be pulled down
The constant state of motion
Not the wait from beginning to end
You're just wasting more sand
And now I'll try
To spare some of mine
My time is filled
With other's sands all of the time
So why not share what could be refined?
My hourglass shape
Shows my time
On my arms and in my mind
I've spilt some sand that wasn't mine
Living longer is simply my crime
So let me fall
And I'll fall right past
I need not know
How long I'll last
Kida Price Feb 2015
Out of space
Once again
Finding love in friends
Complicate
Desecrate
What could be right
I know I'll lose
But hell
I'm up for a fight.
Open up
Light it twice
Don't you dare ask for advice
I've been so quiet
For so long
I don't want to hear the voice
That I've become
Tears now shed
A vacant stare
I hide far from
Feeling my share
Apart of you
Is a part of me
Forever bound
And forever free
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