In the secrets that I keep
The yearly process where I hide and sneak
To keep it from some prying eyes
They're just mysteries...never lies.
The person that I am today
Was not the one before I strayed.
It made me feel like a secret spy
Telling you nothing and everything
As I wink my eye.
"Wink,wink"
You suspect a different concept as I blink.
I'm not as forth right as you think
I give you a moment for your doubts to sink.
Wait, she smiles
She couldn't possibly be an imbecile
The moment when I clench my teeth
You're mind goes back to that safety brink.
Not saying that I pride myself in the skeletons I keep
However they are mine and I know they reek.
They decay and portray a sudden death
Though they've been decomposing long since their last breath.
I got away with it
I pulled it off
Your assumptions covered
By my denying scoff.
Knowing if you cared enough to see
Look real close, my secrets pour out of me.
But you excuse this ability
By how you'd much rather think of me.
Allow the deception
Allow the blanks and time
Your weren't there
To witness the crime.
Plausible deniability
Ain't it great when you flee the scene?
As long as you weren't in my company
You can act just as clueless as me.
And in acceptance I agree
To keep your secrets safe with me.
"Wink,wink"
"Nudge, nudge"
Now we're in it together
Wondering who will be the first to budge.
Be right back
Don't answer the phone
What took you so long?
You don't want to know.
Ok "shrug"
That's fine with me.
But we both know we're up to something
Secretly.

Doom and gloom
You would assume.
Jaded to a fault.
Hate my parents
Hate my life
Blah blah blah
But on a sarcastic note,
There are things I feel
I should inform,
This society of faceless prose,
I'm actually quite unoriginal
And awkward as far as I go.
I fall a lot
I laugh even more
I'm obsessed with a lot of musical scores.
I can draw and play stringed wood
I'd love to dance...
If I only could.
I love the elderly
And the habits they keep.
I love little kids
And the way that they creep.
I'm prone to an unexpected collapse
Of thoughts and rationality.
The color red
Tickles my fancy.
Mac and cheese is a classic dish of mine.
Cheesecake makes my sweet tooth rot.
And I think three toed sloths are out right FINE!
No, they really are! Check them out.
They're my spirit animal without a doubt.
I like to look up cats on YouTube.
And I'm obsessed with SEGA genesis too.
I enjoy a good calorie burn
If it means getting off the couch for the tv channel to turn.
I'm not fat but I'm not thin
I'm too lazy to notice if that smell is coming from me or the trash can.
I don't like mirrors or olives that much.
Brussel sprouts are also included in that bunch.
I converse with myself until I get caught
By people thinking I'm talking to them
When I'm not.
Disney movies, **** yes please!
Favorites are hunchback of Notre dame and Hercules.
Sandman comics and Calvin and Hobbes
Are written in my nightly dreams.
Don't like coffee and I don't like tea
But red bull makes my eyes twitching.
Vanilla is my favorite smell.
I don't like chocolate all that well.
I talk too much about nothing at all
And when it comes to love,
I love to fall.
5'2"...yes I'm shorter than you
I'm well aware of it when reaching for things too.
I dye my hair and cut it myself.
It took a lot of bald months
To have it this fancy and lucious.
I get a lot of looks while driving the scene
When a baby doll like me is blaring slipknot, Metallica, pantera, or coheed.
I'm nearly 25 but look 17
And I still have a soft spot for shel Silverstein.
Neil gaiman is my main man to read
And his wife, Amanda Palmer, has created my favorite music scene.
I used to wear a lot of black
Until I graduated high school and said
"The hell with that."
Colors aren't as bad as all of that.
I like my knives and my stuffed animals just the same
Strangers things I'm crazy
Crazy people think I'm sane.
I'm a hippy as far a fashion dreams
Bell bottom pants and worn out band tees.
I have more guy friends than girls
And I think it's getting me in just as much trouble.
I thought I was gay once
But japan made me sure
When approaching a drunken *******
I couldn't even touch the guy or the girl.
So I declined, my eyebrow confused and creased
Turned that ******* into a twosome
And left them in peace.
I design tattoos and have a few of my own
Based on comic books as my arms would show.
I'm a bit of a nerd but there are worse things to be
Now you know I'm kind of perky
Do you still like me?

It's defective,
My brain, that is
It has a habit to a glitch.
It lies, it spies, it can't commit
To one direct form of dialect.
It has a virus
It has a stitch
I tried to upgrade
But Apple's a *****.
It makes my senses
Lag and pitch
A high screeched tones
That splits my lips.
It shakes and buzzes when left on too long
Skips and twitches
Repeating songs.
It makes my body act out without permission.
I flip the bird when it wasn't my intention.
It even has a blue screen of death
When I consume too many alcoholic contents.
It shuts down and freezes and gets hacked into
On occasion.
Changing a password won't fix that situation.
It likes to steal the identities of others.
The clown, the harlot
The concerned mother.
The *****, the snitch
The one who makes you shudder.
It makes the truth into a lie
It's steals the light out of your eyes.
Should I plug it back in
For a little more life?
Or throw some water on it
And let it short circuit fry?
Or let you mess with it
If you have the IT wise?
If you reboot it soon
Maybe you can make it "vroom"
Make it purr and function without a hitch.
What can you do with my cerebral glitch?

First sighted love
Fills my chest
Warms the core.
Quiet conversation
Hearing words
Learning more.
Brushing hands
Touching lips
Hands gripped firmly around my hips.
Laying down
Fighting the urge
Pushing the envelope just a little more.
Feel the chill
As we exhale.
Craving touch
Inside ourselves.
Time goes by
Replay
Words to fill the time away.
Trying to think of things to say.
Help me keep the heat aflame.
What to watch?
What to do?
Of course I'm not getting bored with you?
Should we fool around some more
Or are you tired?
Cuddle on the floor?
Have you heard this joke before?
Do you feel like eating out once more?
Loving still
Without the thrill
Give it back
We're not yet filled.
We've come so far
To walk away.
Maybe we just need a day
Or two or a week.
Let me miss you
Craving to hear your voice to speak.
He's just a friend.
Who is she?
They seem so very different
From me.
I didn't mean the things I said.
You won't allow yourself
To be comforted.
Parted ways
And still it burns.
Keeping tabs
But pictures turned
Into ashes.
Where is he?
Did she leave?
Our friends just won't stop asking.
******* stop reminding me.
Finding others to fill the need.
Days, weeks and months wander astray
Since seeing your face turn and fade away.
It sparks a bit
But only just.
I pray it's doused and it must.
Random message
Just checking in
Hope you're happy
How have you been?
Feeling it being lit again.
First sighted love
Fills my chest
Warms the core.
Quiet conversation.
Stay aflame
Let's do this again.

As a child I would play
On my mood swing everyday.
It still new
And hardly frayed
It would take me up and back away.
If someone pushed me up
I'd say
"This is such a beautiful day!"
And if some stole my swing from me
I'd sit and pout
In childish melancholy.
A few years passed
And my mood swing stayed.
I stared at it but hardly played.
I'd sometimes think
"Maybe today
Will be the day my mood swing breaks."
My mother's tears
And my father's rage
Would make my mood swing
Lose it's sway.
My brothers and sisters would look away
While by myself
On my mood swing I would pray.
"Please just push me up again
Make me smile
Be my friend."
In my teens I never glanced
At the swing
It being rusted but not collapsed.
I used it for another wish
Like hanging with friends
Or sharing my first kiss.
The slightest breeze could push it now.
I never had to be in the seat.
In memory I'd see it go up and down
And the ground would never meet my feet.
I gripped the chain
And laughed and screamed
My feelings were transfered
Into that swing.
Then I changed into my adult like skin.
So grown up
I thought I knew everything.
My mood swing was for childish work
And I'm too big
Too much of a naive ****.
I swung myself
As high or low as I'd command
Thinking I had the control all in my hands.
I figured all who we're passing me
Would assume me swinging high
Swinging free.
Unknowing that my mood swing
Was swinging me.
Until those times I'm swung too low
My feet would catch
My adrenaline grow.
I fell so many times,
Looking back on my method then,
It's wasn't as easy as it was at 10.
Of course someone was helping me.
Now my swing is jerking me
It feels too small when I sit in the seat.
I don't go as high now like I used to be
I can only move if I kick my feet.
My mood swing made it so long without defeat
But I have awhile to go
And I'm not confident as it squeaks.
What if my children want to play on it someday
And I give them my swing in disarray?
I've long forgotten how to play
On my mood swing
In the way.

Look at me
I can dress so well
I can walk like ******
I can not notice it at all.
Listen to me
I made you laugh
Aren't I so funny?
Just my personality, I suppose.
Touch my skin
Ain't it grand?
I work out 3 hours a day
And still think I'm plain.
Give your opinion
Of how you feel about my existence.
Oh gosh, you're too kind.
Of course I'm not THAT shy.
Lean in to kiss
Watch me pretend not to notice.
Don't you love that you want me?
Can I borrow a buck?
Of course I'll pay it back!
With a face like this
I hardly have any spare change.
Only the newest trends will do for me
I want the brands to never age
Like me.
Say I look 20 not 33.
I have the options to make men into brothers, lovers or friends
But for some reason I'm still constantly searching.
Why are those girls looking at me so jealously?
Their lack of confidence ain't bothering me.
Bitter little girls writing about me in their sad bits of poetry.
I don't ask for attention
It just follows me.
It's not like anything bad
Is catching up to me.
I have him by my side
But he catches my eyes wandering.
3 minutes in the joint and 6 has already been caught checking me.
Oh my god! This song reminds me of
ME!
Let me dance to it while I pretend to be offended by someone grinding up on me.
Don't hate me cause I'm doing me.
Wait.
Why aren't you looking?

So you're that voice
That tempts me to look over
The flawless space between me and the ground
In very high places.
You're the twitch of my hand
On the steering wheel
That's whispers for me to drive over.
You're the calming acceptance
That it all could be over
For the tangible reasons
I have yet to discover.
You're the knife in in my hand
And the few seconds of consideration
When my friend's back is turned to me
And I hover.
If I answered the call
Who would I be?
Dare I turn into someone else
Someone much like me?
The lapse of thought
Described as inhuman
I couldn't possibly be
The only one who hears the calling.