Brothers of free will that night-embraced and sung their worries away
To the tune of the Beatles in the night as they all cast troubles astray.
The fallen angel soon healed-and the brothers-they turned out fine.
And together they were never parted till the very end of times.

And to this day-they're still out there-in the prettiest Chevrolet-
Because after all-Team Free Will-
will always be there to save the day.

You ******* idiot-
you thought you'd die alone?!
Did you *ever seriously consider that
I'd not mend your broken bones?

Me and Sammy came just in time
And caught you as you fell-
From the sky-like stardust in the wind-
Il'l admit-you missed my arms-
But you somehow just floated...thin
Right to a patch of sunken earth
Which we then of course jumped in
so as to miss your burning ashs and caught your
very
limp limbs.

But when we lay your broken body
carefully upon the ground-
You seemed quite out of it I guess
But no way out of sound.
You spoke to the sky some sort of plea-
About how you hoped we'd forgive you...
You blasted *******-
Why would you even think
That for a single moment-
that that was ever even possibly true?

We've always needed you by our side-
You're part of our family after all.
I don't care how much there is to forgive
Or how much you think you needed to fall.

We need you here beside us-
Both Sammy here and I...
Just lay your weary head to rest, Cas
Because I swear I won't let let you die.

---------

Such a broken-tortured soul
Once filled with such good intent-
is now reduced to ruin
with all his feathers burnt and bent.

A heavenly soldier-a warrior of light
Yes-that was him-back in the day
Before of course this perilous strife
that would lead to his astray.

From day one; after the first-
he was always to be cast out
by his family-his only friends-
They didn't hang about.

And ain't it nice they left him
all alone-
These so called true friends of his?
to meet his bitter and ****** end
Quite ghastly and full of gris?

Well-that's quite harsh-
he must admit-
It's not their fault after all-
I was the one who fell from grace
I was the first to fall.

Take the blame-hide the mistakes-
Always continuing the same routine-
but when it comes to praying to God-
he coughs up blood and speaks his final words
To the void- in the form of Sam and Dean.

Because after all-they're still his friends-
Both saved and raised from perdition-
That's what they deserve after all this time-
And perhaps a life with less of his ambitions.

They'll have each other- in the end
and that's all they've ever wanted.
No more room for angels
(I overstayed)
so they need no more be haunted.

I hope they know I'm sorry-
that I did my best at last-
Because in my fall, I secured their future
even though I still apologize -(and can't be forgiven)-
for the past.

And that is what the angel ponders
As he struggles not to die-
That in the end-What's the use-
in praying for such a hopeless case
as a broken soul
like I?

--------

If I were a month, I’d be September.
If I were a day of the week, I’d be Thursday.
If I were a planet, I’d be Saturn.
If I were a sea animal, I’d be coral.
If I were a piece of furniture, I’d be a bookshelf.
If I were a gemstone, I’d be a sapphire.
If I were a flower, I’d be bougainvillea.
If I were a kind of weather, I’d be a crisp autumn wind.
If I were a color, I’d be auburn. (much like my hair)
If I were an emotion, I’d be wonderstruck.
If I were a fruit, I’d be a pomegranate.
If I were an element, I’d be air.
If I were a place, I’d be a field of wildflowers in Scandinavia or a bookshop in Northern Italy.
If I were a taste, I’d taste like sweet and bitter black tea.
If I were a scent, I’d be the smell of freshly baked goods.
If I were an object, I’d be a pencil sharpener.
If I were a body part, I’d be freckles.
If I were a song, I’d be Thoughts of Flight by Edmund.
If I were a pair of shoes, I’d be **bright purple converse.

He had held her
one last time.
He was in her arms-
it had felt so right.
Now he was gone- gone- gone.
His last breath-
wasted on her. He had crumbled, fallen,
and she was screaming to the night.
Her last wish-
her selfishness had left him with no time left to speak.
He was in her arms as she cradled him like a babe,
Rocking him slowly-
wishing all the world would just disappear.
Just fade-
all shall fade- To nothing.
She truly was a fool-
The greatest fool to ever live-
And her love was gone-
leaving her with only
an empty shell-forever cold and hollow.

*All shall fade.
All shall fade.

Stuttered breathing but no ribs broken. All limbs still intact-

Could I stand? Yes.

All motion functions seemed to be in order-all in place-all as they had always been in this unique vessel he had chosen as his own.

But then it hit him-like a silver knife to the chest-
he was falling,

                       falling,

                  ­                    falling.

Spiraling out of control with no way to halt-all the pressure of his divine being-stripped with a waxen blade-he was a shell…he was nothing now.

Snapping out of his spasm, Castiel attempted to take in his surroundings again-the realization not yet hitting his aching chest. Aching… Well that was a new feeling.

It was as if his bones were weak from all the pressure he had never felt in all his being since he sprung from existence, at the beginning of the world itself. Mind racing yet numbing, he stumbled, trying to heal his aching, his aching what? He could no longer pinpoint the pain-it was new and fresh like a wound but deceased as well-as if it had long been dead inside with daffodils tossed casually by the grave.

Was this what it was like?

To be human? To no longer feel the rush and pressure of his wings upon his back, never visible unless he chose so; the ache of a human heart pounding in his chest cavity, unnerving and rattling; and the silence-no more of the noise of his divine celestial being; no more being able to answer his friends…

He snapped then and there from his newfound musings of what humanity felt like-

Dean.

Sam.

He could no longer hear their call. Attempting to summon all the remnants of what little remained of his grace-he rose to his feet-he had to find them-he had to find his friends.

Yet silence was the only call that answered him, ringing with the final yell of "CASTIEL!" as the final sound he had heard as he hurtled to the rocky hard earth.

Dean had been calling but he had no way to answer now-
and…
it was useless.
He was branded with the absolute of nothing now.

He was nothing without his grace-nothing…and who could ever want such a monster as he had become anyway?

His grace had been his final stand, his anchor-and all was now lost as he had fallen.

But now-now something just remained-as tears pulled at his eyes-guiding him unwillingly to stare up at the midnight indigo sky.

Falling-all were falling-as if shooting stars had all been drawn to this one night.

There, there was the final proof as he stared up at the sky, the misery now fully realized. His family-all of them-were dying right before his eyes.

And it was again-
as it always was
and always will be-

all. his. fault.

----------

*What a heavy burden
his new heart would have to bear-
Knowing it was
in his name
that all the angels
were stripped bare.

A man and an angel;
friendship till the end,
face their final battle from heaven and god-send.
Back to back and unstoppable,
all throughout the fight,
when at last- a cry is let out
and released to the starless night.
The angel has fallen, now twice in his time-
and Dean cannot help but slash through the line.
Over to his friend, his closest companion,
monsters simply stop when they see his dominion.
And then against all,
against all their long struggles-
lies the rubble & black scars of his heavenly double.