I just can't sleep.
Is it because I've convinced myself that life is too short to waste on sleep?

I just can't sleep.
Is it because am told that sleep is a cousin of death?
Yet...
I don't fear death nor pain

I just can't sleep.
I wonder if it's becaus

Conceived in a black womb
Surely my mom
Witnessed my grand entry into this world
Filled with devils
Creatures of the night
Hypocrites and parasites
Blood ******* vampires

I came into this world
Naked and screaming
Bad luck passing in form of a black cat
Everything was black
Black Christmas in sight
Yet black isn't a colour
No sense being black.

I wonder
Who'll witness my dying
My death
Will I be in the belly of the beast,
In the depth of the sea,
Or swallowed in the depth of the earth?
Death is death
Peaceful or violent...

Every second that ticks
Moves me closer to death
No sense fearing  death
Why fear the inevitable ?

Limbs sore
My spine tested
I climbed mt Everest
Yet I never rests

From the darkness,
into the light
My Shadow leaves me
Who's by my side?
Am I strong enough
To stand alone?
smart enough
to know when I need help?
brave enough
to ask?

As a man of the past,
living in the present,
walking into the future,
curiosity drives me
Am curiously curious.
Who understands my past,
accepts my today,
and believe in my future?
Is everything a test?

Should I,
trust before I love,
know before I judge,
commit before I promise
appreciate before I regret?

The past haunts
the future haunts
the decisions,
the choices made,
sets the course of our lives .
Actions,
driven by the whispers of angels and demons.
Yet, there's
So much gain
so much pain
We persevere

As I walk down the lonely road,
I realised confidence is all in the mind.

Confidence is the fuel that drives our potential,
With confidence,
you've won even before you start.

Don't play down what you can do,
It's not humility to discount your abilities,
If you don't believe in yourself,
others won't believe in you.

Celebrate yourself,
Shake off intimidation,

You may feel fear,
You may be intimidated inside,
But don't show fear,
Don't let other see you intimidated,
Don't show nervousness.
Show confidence.
Fake it if you have to,
Or
Faith it if you have to......

With the night around me darkening
Mosquitos smelling and biting my flesh
Not knowing where to direct my feet to soldier on
as my bare feet touches the cold pavement of confusion

From the darkest corner of my mind,
I realised that darkness and sadness are natural cousins

In the dark, I stand alone.
In the dark, I hear them playing,
Searching for the light.
Struggling  trying to do the right.

Yes they say
Dark is evil
Sin
Death
Dark is fearsome

Darkness has no shadows
Yet shadows are dark

Darkness is a mystery of that which is hidden and unknown

Darkness prevails ........

Yes in the dark,
I cry
darkness listens,
Comforts me,
Like a lifelong friend.

CONFIDENCE

confidence is the sun that rises early in the morning,
It's rays shining on those willing to sunbath.

Confidence is the rain that falls from the heavy clouds ,
raining down on those willing to be soaked in it.

Confidence is the moon that shineth at night,
giving light to those willing to embrace it even darkest of days.

Confidence is the breeze,
Cooling down those embracing it.

Confidence is like an old man's stuff,
Keeping your head high your spine seem to be struggling.