Sometimes it's great
just to relax here &
to let the music wash over me
It fills my ears
and winds itself into my blood stream
It wraps around my slowly beating heart
And it pulses with it, peaceful

It is my calming joy
It is my relaxing symphony
And I can lay here
And I will feel secure
I can gaze above me at the wide universe,
with so many questions,
but those questions are for another time
Right now is for admiring the beauty of the galaxy

These clouds float over my soft skin,
spraying it's percipitation
along my upturned face
I can feel the rain,
and the sunshine,
And I can see the rainbows dancing
behind my closed eyelids.

Slowly, ever so slowly,
I open my eyes
to the world around me
And I see
I can see life and the earth
The angels that shine in the heavens
as they sing thier soothing melodies
This moment is perfect
And I release a relaxed sigh
I can feel the hues and pigments
of calm spread without me

I am at peace

I don't know what to do

I feel guilty when you put your arm around my waist
And I slowly place my hand over yours,
And I peel it away from me

You look at me with those eyes,
You say the sweetest things,
Yet I don't know how to respond

You'll lean in for a kiss
And I'll turn so your lips instead
Meet my cheek

Why do I feel this way?
It's almost kind of awkward.
I just wish it could feel normal.
That I'll feel that spark that links
Between the two of us.

I feel like I'm doing something wrong.
Maybe I'm just being stupid.
I'm being an emotional child
Who's ideas of love are far fetched
And play out like a Disney movie

None of this is making sense to me
And I'm beginning to think,
"Maybe we should call it quits"
But I don't want that to break you
And I don't want that to break me.

I just wish I knew what to do.

That girl spoke of her boyfriend so sweetly. She claimed they were in love with only a week of knowing him. But the way she spoke, it was almost like I could believe her.

And then I look at us, and our relationship. Almost a month now. I think we've been doing well. No serious fights yet, although there are times when we get under each other's skin. But we've been alright. Happy, even.

But love? Do I love you? Do you love me? How would I respond if you said that four lettered word?

Quite frankly, I'm afraid I'd run. I'd hide away to someplace where my feelings could not be confronted. When we hold hands, I feel the warmth of your fingers, but no spark. When I meet your gaze, I see your eyes but feel no connection. When you kiss my lips, it's a dull process and not some heart racing adventure.

I guess what I'm saying is that I want that 'sweep a girl off her feet' moment. The kind there are in books, movies. When I read of the ways another human being can affect your heart, I wait to feel that with you. But it doesn't come. Am I being ignorant? Am I a hopeless romantic looking for something that doesn't exist?

Imagine the guilt I will feel if you tell me you love me and I can't say the same. I wish that not to happen, because even though I don't feel that way yet, I still like you and don't want you hurt.

~Your Kay~

It never ends
nothing does
the day-old friends
who leave because

they'd not arrived
though never die
they're always there
within the eye

that see's all things
under the sky
it doesn't blink
though sometimes lies

of enemies
in friendly guise

Beware of change
that's found in time
for nothing can
remain sublime

though nothing ends
as change suggests
only supplies
your mind a test

to remember not
what seldem is
soon forgot

like birds set free
that fleeting thought
of what cannot be