Your failure, thought by your ear
Words of another, your dread spread
My shoulder, never not yours
Reconciliation; your voice heard.
A misery, my own doing
My recoil, accepting the proximity
Sorrow, the feeling behind my joy
The pain untold, but written in silence.
As your tears I feared; your side I embraced
A seat you offered, an honor remembered
Conversation alive again, its fragility accommodated
Your speech to me, always a pleasure.
My smile true; my heart whole
Another day for some; a renewed dawn for me.

Obnoxious arguments; I rant only
My words, shard glass tearing souls
No exception is there, my wrath is equal upon all
Though for you, are the wounds mendable.
Excuse myself in rage, do I never
A barrage do I release, to free myself
Humaneness, my preach to oppose another
The hurt I inflict, is remembered by my own.
As your silence befalls me, my guilt grows
My thoughts erratic, not whole
What was spoken, can not be refunded
A friend, a foe; my acts deceive.
The loathe towards myself, my cell cast
Forgiveness a key, you grant.

Subsistence defined by need, not want
A time when provisions made to survive
With no barriers; wealth not reality
Now a time when commercialism shadows death.
Purchase for consumption; nothing is free
Their poisons inserted, to see growth spiral
Populations diseased; their hunger satisfied
Success not a work of art, but a measure of worth .
Inventions praised; expense raised
Weapons more devastating, eyes only faucets
The world's end bound; prophesied by man, knowing his own hand.
Science a technicality of beauty; life not learned
Math bewildering; love confused
Reversion, a must; humanity's teachings before papers'.

Allegiances, they pledge; my side, theirs
My trust, unconditional
Acceptance preceding perfection
Their appreciation shown, their truth unknown.
With them, are my woes no more
Unrestrained is my voice, in their presence
Insults do we barrage, none to harsh
Joy is embraced, smiles reflected.
When my steps are unheard, their cloaks disappear
My oppositions they sought, my closet they open
The war incited, buried in yellow carnations
Our fists, unclenched; my wounds too deep.
Disloyalty, a constriction to my heart
Their red hands, an intervention to my faith.

Blood that oozes, hands that scar
Blows that begun, interminable
A cause known, innocence forgotten
Audible screams, silenced by repetition
Destruction chosen, fear discarded.

Acknowledgment, does none bear
Witnesses seen, sightless to recall
Scabs that remind, require time
Console unwelcome, forgiveness unwarranted
Impulse pursued, a pulse influenced.

Tears dried, by tears shed
A perpetrator fallen to prey
Weakness shown through labored breath
Relent almost tempted by repent
Hope forgone, consciousness, a luxury.

A semblance of sanity restored through agony
A tree uprooted, preventing further anguish
The eyes of a sadist, pleading for an end
Vengeance fed through each severed limb
Victims chosen, collateral, a curse.

A livid corpse staring at the skies
Discovered only to be a headline
Justice imposed by a civilian, chastised by an incompetent system
Whilst condoned by mourners
Violence and peace can not coexist.

Wake of day; the birth of unease
My ink's drought, a fear at worst
The sound of a heartbeat, persisting
A passion wounded; salvaged by praise.
Structure is found, a thought is lost
Difficulty admitted, my body numbed
The end may be now; writer's block is desired
Forgetting lines, forgetting life.
Hindrances to my growth, never not present
If not my memory, than monotony
The drive I have, denied a forward
Decisions to quit, hollowed by comments.
Afraid I may be, but friends have I still
Complimenting my lines; complementing my incomplete stanzas.

I wish for an end to come
A welcome I spoke; untrue now
The progress of time, showing me pain
Saved me than, to severe me again
An arid mind, pleading for lines to flow.

Upon entrance, my improbable dream tempted reality
My artistry had granted me a title, of weight
Dragging me down, before a rise begun
A love that fluctuated, had become so dear
Belonging had I found, as a poet in the world.

Almost quit had I, before my words were fully fledged
At the mention of poetry, I had deigned to deny the ink
A fear of being deemed feminine, had taunted my being
My stanzas had become a guilty pleasure, I could not resist
Years transpiring, before guilt became pride.

My heart had been afforded a source of release
I had been gifted a talent, to be honed
Appreciation was not a given, but had grown
A time of need, was announced with hope
Depression I could not part with, but a reprieve I had found.

Weeks into the year, and my footing I had lost
The joyous monotony of writing had found absence
My life had worn to a thread - a noose was seen an escape
Will myself I could not, without another try
A last attempt, reviving an unconscious passion.

Escalated had it, through mere words
An argument with a drunk, leaving none sober
Avoidance I practiced, consequential to unity
A day of togetherness, spent alone
My desire to leave, superseding my will to stay.

You were right, I conceded; true or untrue
A waste was it to speak, when I would be unheard
To read was it my choice, to refuse
A key preventing entrance, denying inebriated lectures
Solitude enlightening the festivities, more than company.

The skies were blue as I walked toward a reprieve
Blame was exchanged, for a norm that was apparent
Maybe a little disappointment, wooed me forward
But an excuse does that afford none, for irrationality
Irresponsible was I in not informing ; irresponsible were you in trying to find me.

Your defence would I always assist, to rectify or sway
Good to me were you never not
Imperfections denied by a bond, unbroken
My respect wanting to yield, but not confounding
Your pedestal never lowering, even when your actions requested.

Maybe forgiveness is to be asked, to relieve
An apology would do well, to alleviate
One person, a victor, the other not; egos choosing
Toxins I am unaccustomed to, poisoning minds
I want to hate, but love remains true.

~Love's Arguments~

Nostalgia reminds, regrets accrue
Tears stain, emotions reign
Grasps erratic, hands uncertain
Despaired concerns, a heart wrenched
Lies appease, future truths.

Distance abundant, doubts excessive
Pace slows, feet lead ahead
Evasive glances, assumptions severing
Dependence realised, apologies strained
Care aches, departing thoughts resign.

Direction bemused, frustrations perplexed
Discussions flow, arguments resist
Audible voices, silenced ignorance
Compromise imposed, stubbornness persisting
Selfishness bare, exception quells.

Relations worn, exhaustion contaminates
Schedules busy, rest prevents
Messages brief, balance unfound
Attention returned, neglect reflecting
Impulse wary, arms wonder.

Questions buoyant, answers flounder
Routine predictable, suspense escapes
Seats reserved, places unknown
A shoulder proffered, a face burrowing
Love's monotony, time appreciates.

As the door closes, my clarity is lost
The somberness cured by no write
My abilities tainted by acknowledgement
An ego fed, a dread nourished.
Truth has become vague, experience false
Passion is ignored, beseeching praise for a figment
Joy betrayed, to a want to excel
My heart unheard, still maintaining life.
Another's opinion, precedent over my own
If not commended, the quality is denied
The effort of honing, can not suffice
My talent blurring before it has begun to shine.
To continue, I question the purpose
A vision disregarded; a poet, unworthy .

Pain had I ignited bright
Through my silence, had my hurt worsened
Denied conversations with all for superficial reasons, I had
Forgetting that love was my life
And people were my love
As I danced, did I repent 

Slower were my motions
An expression of joy, had my face not worn
Though the subtlety, left all indifferent
Seen me as myself, they had
The scarring in my body, was concealed
Each hand grasped, healing another wound

My ignorance, claimed no mask
If my words you could not hear, they were not yours
A norm had I created, to destroy myself
Though forgiveness, had been a gift received 
Grudges, were there none to find
Every gesture, a reconciliation for me

Hatred, was there none to emit 
A wealth of moments, had been created 
Unity had proved solid, through the rhythm
A spectacle, had the front created
Humanity at its best, is when material is undesired
My hate almost undone, through the arms of strangers

Caged my heart had I, for many months
Its beats' restrictions, pleading to stop
My acknowledgement, had been in vain
Torture did I sought more to inflict
Until your beauty was mine to behold
In your movements, was my heart freed

Your existence, I refuted as an absence
Success was inevitable through my acts
Than upon your face, my eyes fell
And my love, had been remembered again
All that was true, had I sighted in your acceptance
Swaying with you, transited my apologies 

Healed my hate, had dance
Enabled reconciliation, had each hand 
In swaying with you, had my love been freed

The dots do I join, to rediscover
That which was forgotten, remembered through continuation
Naivety had my youth shown plenty
Lines of love, professed lies
My aspirations stemmed, by a being not noticing.

Time has it stopped not for my admiration
Its progression I cannot prevent
But my mind's reversion, has already occurred
That which had been lived, is lived again
Her entrance I appreciate once more; the essence unfound.

Events are offered no change, by memories
Questions unthought than, asked now
The height of my feelings, a hyperbole
A chance doomed by an evasive reality
Her beauty existent; I chose a figment.

Each confidant, hearing more passion than the last
If doubts were raised, my words were shown
A destiny I sought, with a name with no letters
My stare, affording no return glance
Her interactions echoing no friendship; my ignorance deflated.

A work I had begun ardently, not knowing
My return home , a return to future synonymy
Pages torn, to drown in cliches
Her rejection, could not disconcert
The dots I made, do I join to know.

A tense mind, forsaking abilities
Days passed can not be recovered
The suffering brought upon, by choice
Fear arisen at the thought of the inevitable
I scorn at my sight; their pride, mistaken.

Excuses granting an escape, to relinquish
Forces I seek, to deny that which could have been
Regret masked, by an expression unseen
A promise to change, unmet by time's progress
Lies spoken; their trust, misplaced.

A resolve is thought, a distraction is discovered
A minute becomes an hour, an hour, a day
The effort becomes insuperable - the load does burden
To find others, does alleviate  
A sleepless night, my own cause; perseverance, they presume.

An unsteady hand, prepares notes anew
Legibility is minimal, as panic progresses
Absorption is improbable - an attempt at redemption, in vain
Expletives remembered, relevant now
A head that aches; difficulty, they concede.

Eyes wake, pleading for rest
A disheveled appearance, hides no worry
The many lines crammed, indistinguishable
A dire situation, chiseling a cheat
Failure admitted; their forgiveness, undeserving.

My actions not taught, learnt
Choices of bliss blind to regret
Inhalation an act of betrayal
Exhalation succumbing a conscience
Unsupervised time; irresponsible beings.

Fear overcome, discipline disappeared
The second eased by the first
My body a temple, tarnished by a whiff
Remarks held true, fall to a lack of structure
Pride spoken, unknowingly.

Morals condemn my sight
Preach do I, with no bearing upon my own
A resonating voice that ably lies
A norm increasing believability
Forgiveness can not be asked until guilt is sequestered.

Precedent welcoming hazards  
The clearance of smoke; a lapse to wet my throat
A child who promised to never, seeing forever
Rebellious thrills, consuming potential
Age prepping an inescapable chamber.

Coordination of motions inhibited
Obscenities uttered, consideration discarded
Attention found, with reflectivity
Substances relieved of responsibility by a will
Upbringing questioned, a disappointment mentioned.

A return to reality, inevitable
The momentary glee, forgotten
Dried ink, taunting my soul
My will lost, to an empty cause
An escape; an imprisonment.

At a time of worst, a savior had come
Not superficial, for the pieces were vital
Preventing my veins from constricting
Providing a hope, stolen by life
Understanding was written; confusion concealed.

Critical acclaim, had I garnered none
My commitment was to deny sorrow
The darkness within, had I shone out
A fake smile, affording truth
A heart that had beat only to maintain, relishing continuity.

Paths forward inspired, a future brightened
The hurt to myself, released to its time
Regrets buried, under words of grace
The phenomenon of forgiveness, steadier
An addict's reprieve, offered through lines.

Reading a sore nostalgia, rejuvenating wounds
The person I have become, an enigma to myself
Some days compassionate, others cold
Some brilliant, others infantile
Pride I cannot conceive, but poetry does relieve.

The radiance, a splendor indeed
Emanating was your joy, truly
A time ago, your disappointment was shown
Your pride rejuvenated, once more.
My sight you graced, by error
Another had I been seeking, when your return was made
The scrutiny showing no effect on your being
Your vibrance, I wished was my own elicitation .
Praise you earned; never undeserving
Your ethic thriving, as excellence you claim
The weight of many; your shoulders burdened
Honor brought by your words, determined.
A glimpse I stole, as our paths parted
My respect grown, by your smiles' gold.

The lead you own; your charge I accept
Your feet lithe, my eyes mesmerized
My joy suppressed, hope found
Your hand in mine, my dream alive.
Points important, the moment more
As you glide, my wonder is nourished
A spectator, a partner; my roles, both
Your delicate motions, the reason I smile.
Each step an accomplishment known
The first twirl, my fear shown
The second, aggravation grown
The beginning forgotten, but procrastination key
As the dip is done, my body is numbed
The end of an assessment; the loss of your grasp.

Tears unshed before, fall now
The distance ahead, shrunk to an end
Memories are spared for us to keep
Time continues, even at our standstill
Years spent, succumb to a day.

Our last paper, joying our spirits
Together we wrote; each his own
The moment a speciality, faded into seriousness
A room filled with relief, not ready to relieve
The future is bound, the past is profound.

Walking away from the building, once detested
A struggled step, not a leap
No matter our differences, our commonness are intertwined
The regrets we have, are that of knowing
The base we had, cherished more considering the unknown.

Friends that motivated our wake, promise to stay
Lightly are their words taken, the truth we have seen
Gratitude owed, to all those who held us up
Chapters written, a glory unmatched
As our grasps meet once more, finality taints the romance.

Life begins again, with responsibilities anew
The crossroads met, our respective pursuits acknowledged
A farewell granting us solace, to a well-traveled journey
Love found, lost to a depart
Our childhood glides away; independence, comes to stay.

Your art, my eyes fascinate over
The detail so plenty, my focus, undecided
An inspiration for it, I fail to find
An inspirer, has it become.
My first glance taken, intrigue built
Paint or pastel; bewildered I am left
Art at its finest, I concede
Your marks, deceptive of your youth.
Commend you do I, to soon for your efforts
Your work incomplete, told; unnoticed
My eyes revert to its previous indulgence
Beauty defined, seen; an artists' mind exceeding the viewers.
Repetition a joy, not a task
An admirer I have become, awaiting the last stroke.

Sodden was I in their praise; myself I let wash away
Their words, drops of nourishment to my own
A pedestal had I found beneath myself
My inspiration, had I forgotten.
Weeks pass, the error of my ways known
Studies do I pursue in vain
The serenity found, now lost
An act of passion, now a tedious task.
Attempted to mend, have I mentally
Fear the response, will I always
My name seeps no honor
The credit I claimed, was never owed.
Each write, diminished by discrepancy
Without you, is there no point to ink.

Acceptance attempted, failed
Although alone, I knew to be
Yearned for you more, had I knowing our differences
Another had I expected not to enter
The tips of your fingers, denies my plummet no more.

Even through error, had my mind never grasped the thought
Admission was to end my fall; our friendship was to be replenished
Gradually more was to flourish
My hopes soared , cut to its roots
You were not waiting - it was I, who felt.

Findings so clear, I wish it was false
You spoke to another, casually yet with precision
What was articulated, could not be unheard
My cards had I released, knowing the joy was foregone
Tears restrained, knowing a depart was imminent.

In my wake, do I doubt the reality
A sombre night, a sombre morning
My imperfections existed, even through facades
Your presence, polished the blemishes
The depths of the marks, now a hole.

Another effort, my prayers had sought
Your response was seen, reciprocal this could be
Time had I assumed it in wait, for me to rekindle
Your moving on, delivering my faith's corpse
My pursuit curtailed; continuation in vain.

My demeanor, the aftermaths of recklessness
A child once, a man to soon
The glory to my name gone, the grace faded
Change do I offer no opposition to
Derogatory remarks, have I afforded restraint    
A new cry heard; my steps subtle.

Your age, can I speak not of
Every moment, filled with more youth than the first
Memories created; gems remembered
Your hand in mine, a single entity we formed  
For each other, were our lives
The joy spent, a cost to you.

A meeting of hearts, the night inspired
The ecstasy unspoken, but felt
Our naivety the error, unconsidered
An unthought conception, implanting itself
Impulse driving our passion, forth
Creators we became; the end I found.

Your figure lost, its voluptuousness
Atrocious had you seemed, to my young mind
The tips of your caress on my palm, offered no connection
Conditions to my love, a reality
Together could we be, never again
The burden was yours, my eyes were free.

To witness I chose, an obligation it was
The lights so bright, intensity I felt
Your tears and screams, nourishing life
The mistake shadowed, by bare beauty
My hands were gifted with purity; my luggage fallen
Reconciliation was to late, but my hands knew no release.  

My depart planned, my destination unmoved
His gentle touch, redirecting my path
The regrets unknown, my chin's resemblance I admire
Your forgiveness, I do not desire
Mutual feelings, the base of our relations
A conditional love, the root of an unconditional one.

Once a burden, now a source of joy
The end of had I decided, devoid of reconciliation
His subtle cries, owning my love.

Blurred sights, clarity remains
Rebelliousness nonexistent, sometimes a ray
Associations a downfall, leading astray
Numbness soothing, until panic soars
Attendance to depart, ensuring departure.

Unsteady legs, balanced steps
A poured escape, drowning in regret
Unnoticed presence, disturbed by familiarity
Speech absorbed, uninterpreted
Purpose defeated, knowing the unknown.

Emotions fluctuate, care constant
Emptiness filled, with concentrated sips
Excessive consciousness, a poor act
Elaborations fluent, betrayed by a stench
Erroneous responses, beckoning distance.

Mental lapses, memories stored
Glass drained, a purchase to be made
Uncontrolled motions, perceived to be intentional
'Disappointment' echoing, volumes relentless
A pond of thoughts left, to a lonesome ponder.

Loss envelopes, relations sustained
Shards scatter, threatening flesh
Invisible tears, sodden spirits
A fated meeting, a choice afforded
An inebriated promise; a sober agreement.