I love the way
You make
Drowning look like
Breathing easily

Freely suffocation yourself
Not even realizing
That your sinking
Deeper and deeper down
You're convincing me
Don't take the high road
Because the hill there will **** you
You guarantee me  
That I cant afford that
So don't even try
Then
Invite me to come fly
To feel what its like
To blur my sight
To the extent of clarity
Amidst the gauzy reality
We've been brainwashed to believe
Is sanity
This feels like
Insanity
And these feelings
I don't want to feel anymore
I just want to know
Tell me whats real
Because I've tasted air
And it freed me
It was free to me
And in that moment
I had totally clarity
And in that moment
It became everything for me

But for some reason
Its not sticking
Its not addicting
But you
**** you had me
The second you walked in the room
And I cant stop
Thinking about you
And
Thanking about how
I need a cigarette
Because this air
Is going stale
And its not so clear
Anymore
And I'm not so clear
Anymore
And I want you here
All the more
To help me feel real
Once more
Because I can't feel
Whats real
Anymore
And these feelings
I don't want to feel
Anymore

I just want to know
Tell me whats real

Because I've had it
With this
******* hypocrisy
Where I pretend like
I know what I'm talking about
Where I pretend like
I see through the
Gauzy reality
We've convinced ourselves
Is sanity
Because its easier than
Facing the insanity
We are faced with
Every day
Daily
Rolling every thought
Of imperfection in our lives
In thin white sheets of paper
Blowing
In
In
In
In
Holding
Feeling
Releasing
Freeing ourselves to fly
At least for a moment
Or maybe just to fall but
At least for a moment
We touched the stars
And

I love the way
You make this look fulfilling

I love the way
You make this look satisfying
But

I hate the way
That I keep coming back for more
Knowing its not helping
But I cant handle
All these thoughts
And I cant handle
All these feelings

Tell me whats real
Because I've tasted air
And it freed me
But its not free to me
And the more I think about it
The more I'm realizing
That the cost of breathing
Is my whole life
And I'm not sure
I'm willing to trade everything
Im not sure
I'm able to give everything
For a freedom
I'm not even sure
Is sticking around
Because it hasn't been addicting

Tell me whats real
Because I'm digging
Deeper and deeper down
Tell me whats real
Because I'm sinking
Deeper and deeper down
And I cant breath easily anymore
I'm freely suffocating myself
In a confinement of uncertainty
Where I'm certainly going to drown
If no one can tell me
Somebody
Tell me whats real
Because I cant keep guessing
And then confessing
For a blessing
Always testing and
Investing myself
In momentary highs
Because this isn't living
This is simply surviving
An unsatisfying life

Always searching
But never finding

Tell me whats real
Because I need to feel
Alive again

Tell me whats real
Because now its not enough
To just feel
I need to know
Tell me
Because I need to know
Whats real



                                        The End.

Trees suppressed by sunshine
Lank black across baked salmon
Paint brush brick strokes
Hugging heat against
Sun faded pavement
As 85 mile per hour
Sleek through
wavering heat waves
Slick as
Unwavering commitment
To the fire
Both passion
And the burns
That make staying here
Worthwhile.

                                              The End

You
Are the comma,
In my life sentence
Of searching.

                  
                  The End.

Stained glass windows
Illuminating
The separation
Of church and state


                                        The End.

Warmth is
Wonder-filled winter walks
With wonderfully interlocked
Hand holding

                         The End.

If I ever have children
I’ll teach them about god
On
Family road trips
In a mini-van
With a candy wrapper carpet
And warm melted crayons
In the seats grand canyons
As the Arizona sun sets
Over the Copper State
Where you could almost swear
It was the red dusted desert
Painting the sky
Rain-less-bows of color
With broken butte brush stroke
Across the restless desert
As you twist around in your seat-belted
Body of eight years old
To the rearview window
Of an AC blasted
Softly singing stereo
Escaping out gaping windows
Leaving nothing behind
But a heatwave
Trying to settle down
Tire teased dust
For the evening stretch ahead
That you think might never end
As if god was using the road as a string
He had tied tightly to the family car
Carving the way though
Salty cactuses drinking licks of sand left by
Dirt devils dancing across the graves of
Lizards
Who pretended they didn't exist
But couldn’t fool the hawks
Who watched and waited
For more than just a lost tail
Or a forgotten story
But something clay
Concretely carved in to caves and caverns
With rock and bone
Something solid to hold on to

But my children need to know
That an existence is a slippery thing

Like the color from the buttes
As it slowly drips off the sky
And back into the sand
Leaving speckles of white
Freckling the blackness
Swirled with little
Tizzles of light
As homage to the desert moon
Whose crying stars for
Coyotes
Howling in time
To the crickets metronomic harmonies  
Singing the desert back from its camouflage
Life bursting breath though
The earth cast shadows
Breathing heart beats across the land
That's just been
Brought back to living

And if I ever have children
I'll teach them
That this road will never end
At least not where we expect it to
Because god
Isn’t who
We make him to be
He
Doesn’t string us along a road
But he holds the world on a string



                                                       ­   The End.

I am
The most delectable dish
On the dessert menu
And oh, how you
Like to
Treat me that way


Take me
When you want me


Leave me
When your full


Having no need for
Subsequent satisfaction
After the balanced meal
You've just consumed
Has been spoon-fed to you
By whomever you choose
Knowing that
Even after it all
I will still be waiting
Simply to add a sweet sense
Of completion to your day
That never seems
To fully satisfy
Because you keep coming back
For more


And I know
I will never be
The main course
Except occasionally when
Someone else has fallen through
For you and you need an
Emergency
Sugar
Recovery
In which I'll come
To the rescue


And I'm not claiming to be
The most important portion
But I do wish
You could see
That I might be
Something more than simply
A cutie pie
On an optional menu
Waiting for you
To choose me
                                               The end.

You transformed my freckled neck

Into a strawberry field

Last night
Transplanting puckered lips
Into planting pink rosy kisses
Across my skin
And down my chest
Like
Cherry blossom petals that

We picked

Because we  
Just don't believe that they could be
Anything more
That how they feel right now

Its too inconceivable for us
Its too contrived   


I mean
Its like
Trying to grow candy apple love
In greenhouses
Or just houses 

Painted green
With synthetic sunbeams
And pesticide ridden wishing seeds
Planted with high doses of expectations
And fertilized by things like
Movie Scripted
Kissing in the rain

And all the other high fructose corn-syrup cliches
That only let you come down
When your brain washed loving
Is washed from lusting
Trusting only the sunlight
Rising in the morning
On a clear day
Because thats when you can see
Whats real and fake

But it doesn't matter

Because we just don't believe in things like that
Its to synthetic
For starry eyes filled with falling satellites
When its still too cold for sunshine


So we
Just believe in things like
Twisting our tongues 
for the fun
Of seeing
How quickly we come undone
When we touch

And breathing

Out then in and in again
Breathing uneven breathes
Into each others mouths
To feel what its like
To come to life
Then let it go again

And we always
Always
Color outside
The rib cage lines

(and heres why)

Because ribs
Keep people out of our hearts

And cages
Keep us out of their

And lines
*******

Lines are for strictly straight people
Who can only see one side to everything
And everyone
Knows
Rules were meant to be broken
And lines were meant to be crossed

Cross eyed
Crooked teeth

That can never be bent back straight
Or scraped pearly clean of
Imperfection
Because they are already
In perfection
Everyone is just too blinded
From staring into the sun
To see it right now

But tonight
Tonight
We are two crooked lines
In a foreign vineyards of twisted grape vines

Fermenting into a wine sweeter than our lips
And we fit
Together
Like two broken puzzle pieces
That wont ever complete each other
And you know what

That's ok

You are not my missing piece
And I am not yours
Because we are not
Puzzles
We are people
And puzzles are just broken paintings
To be put back together
And we are not broken
There’s no completion left

To who we are
We are infinite
Never ending in our potential
Never lacking in what's essential
All we are doing is adding colors
To each other

And tonight
You color me inside out

Crossing every line on my skin
With you paint brush lips
Like strawberry red rows of
Red wine
Dipped lips
Planting painted
Red lipstick kisses
In each others mouths
The way
Sweet-bay Magnolia petals
Are pictured in puddles
When they look down
Seeing their own refection
And letting themselves fall
Getting bruised by the gravel
We are each both petals and pavement
When we fall into each other
Tonight
And I remember one night
A while ago
We found an old telescope
Made out of plastic
With this incredibly inaccurate scope
That focused in sudden little jults
And it took us forever to find the moon
But when we did
And zoomed in
With one eye squinted
You
Looked up
To the night sky
And I
Have never seen anything like

The way the moon filled your eyes with stars
After you peered into each others faces


All the way across the atmospheric dimension
Sendings whispered apprehensions  

Of a pretentious existences into each others eyes
Every line had a wink at the end
And every wink had
A sly smile in between the chimney and the roof

So heres a little truth

Sometimes I wish that we
Could telescope each others sunsets
And find our own sunrises in each others eyes
Behind every blink
Orbiting

Fixed fastly to this axis
Through outer space time lapsing
Across boarder lines
Even though 
I know
We already beam every time we see each other
Like spring sunshine on icicles dripping drops down to
Oil spilled rainbows

We bowed our selves

From the glowing belly
Of our laughter induced paintings
Coloring waves of light
Overlapping though space

Traveling
Faster than the speed of sound
In our own directions
But our travels are soundly set
To inter-exist in this second
And I dont want to let go yet

But I will
Because we cant believe in things like this
It too much risk  to trust the
Daffodils blooming in the brisk
Frosty March mornings
Between bits of icy earth

So we pick them
And put them in little jars with stones
In our kitchen
And smile every time we walk by
I dont even really know why actually
I guess

They are just so pretty
And they smell nice too

Right next to the stems of
The white cherry blossoms
Which bend across our wooden window sill
Next to our sudsy little sink
And we know
That they wont grow anymore
After this
That this is their only glimmer
Of existence
So we hold them close
But time alway slip through our finger tips
Letting go
Of what we cant hold on to
Pulled farther apart
And I havent seen you 
In a while

The other night

I tried to telescope your eyes
Across boarded boarder lines
But I couldn't find you in the skies
And the moon only winked in my direction
Leaving me

To plant wishing seeds

In the ashes of 

Every wished on fallen satellite
I could find
Grown
In green houses

When its still to cold for sunshine
On a clear day
I still wish
That maybe
After
You’ve cleared away all the dead daffodils
From our dusty windowsill
And planted a orchard of candy apples
In the ribs of your new lover

That it will still make you smile
Every time you see
Sweet-bay magnolia petals bruised by gravel
And it reminds you of me


                                    The End.