Trees suppressed by sunshine
Lank black across baked salmon
Paint brush brick strokes
Hugging heat against
Sun faded pavement
As 85 mile per hour
Sleek through
wavering heat waves
Slick as
Unwavering commitment
To the fire
Both passion
And the burns
That make staying here
Worthwhile.

                                              The End

If I ever have children
I’ll teach them about god
On
Family road trips
In a mini-van
With a candy wrapper carpet
And warm melted crayons
In the seats grand canyons
As the Arizona sun sets
Over the Copper State
Where you could almost swear
It was the red dusted desert
Painting the sky
Rain-less-bows of color
With broken butte brush stroke
Across the restless desert
As you twist around in your seat-belted
Body of eight years old
To the rearview window
Of an AC blasted
Softly singing stereo
Escaping out gaping windows
Leaving nothing behind
But a heatwave
Trying to settle down
Tire teased dust
For the evening stretch ahead
That you think might never end
As if god was using the road as a string
He had tied tightly to the family car
Carving the way though
Salty cactuses drinking licks of sand left by
Dirt devils dancing across the graves of
Lizards
Who pretended they didn't exist
But couldn’t fool the hawks
Who watched and waited
For more than just a lost tail
Or a forgotten story
But something clay
Concretely carved in to caves and caverns
With rock and bone
Something solid to hold on to

But my children need to know
That an existence is a slippery thing

Like the color from the buttes
As it slowly drips off the sky
And back into the sand
Leaving speckles of white
Freckling the blackness
Swirled with little
Tizzles of light
As homage to the desert moon
Whose crying stars for
Coyotes
Howling in time
To the crickets metronomic harmonies  
Singing the desert back from its camouflage
Life bursting breath though
The earth cast shadows
Breathing heart beats across the land
That's just been
Brought back to living

And if I ever have children
I'll teach them
That this road will never end
At least not where we expect it to
Because god
Isn’t who
We make him to be
He
Doesn’t string us along a road
But he holds the world on a string



                                                       ­   The End.

Warmth is
Wonder-filled winter walks
With wonderfully interlocked
Hand holding

                         The End.

I am
The most delectable dish
On the dessert menu
And oh, how you
Like to
Treat me that way


Take me
When you want me


Leave me
When your full


Having no need for
Subsequent satisfaction
After the balanced meal
You've just consumed
Has been spoon-fed to you
By whomever you choose
Knowing that
Even after it all
I will still be waiting
Simply to add a sweet sense
Of completion to your day
That never seems
To fully satisfy
Because you keep coming back
For more


And I know
I will never be
The main course
Except occasionally when
Someone else has fallen through
For you and you need an
Emergency
Sugar
Recovery
In which I'll come
To the rescue


And I'm not claiming to be
The most important portion
But I do wish
You could see
That I might be
Something more than simply
A cutie pie
On an optional menu
Waiting for you
To choose me
                                               The end.

I love the way
You make
Drowning look like
Breathing easily

Freely suffocation yourself
Not even realizing
That your sinking
Deeper and deeper down
You're convincing me
Don't take the high road
Because the hill there will **** you
You guarantee me  
That I cant afford that
So don't even try
Then
Invite me to come fly
To feel what its like
To blur my sight
To the extent of clarity
Amidst the gauzy reality
We've been brainwashed to believe
Is sanity
This feels like
Insanity
And these feelings
I don't want to feel anymore
I just want to know
Tell me whats real
Because I've tasted air
And it freed me
It was free to me
And in that moment
I had totally clarity
And in that moment
It became everything for me

But for some reason
Its not sticking
Its not addicting
But you
**** you had me
The second you walked in the room
And I cant stop
Thinking about you
And
Thanking about how
I need a cigarette
Because this air
Is going stale
And its not so clear
Anymore
And I'm not so clear
Anymore
And I want you here
All the more
To help me feel real
Once more
Because I can't feel
Whats real
Anymore
And these feelings
I don't want to feel
Anymore

I just want to know
Tell me whats real

Because I've had it
With this
******* hypocrisy
Where I pretend like
I know what I'm talking about
Where I pretend like
I see through the
Gauzy reality
We've convinced ourselves
Is sanity
Because its easier than
Facing the insanity
We are faced with
Every day
Daily
Rolling every thought
Of imperfection in our lives
In thin white sheets of paper
Blowing
In
In
In
In
Holding
Feeling
Releasing
Freeing ourselves to fly
At least for a moment
Or maybe just to fall but
At least for a moment
We touched the stars
And

I love the way
You make this look fulfilling

I love the way
You make this look satisfying
But

I hate the way
That I keep coming back for more
Knowing its not helping
But I cant handle
All these thoughts
And I cant handle
All these feelings

Tell me whats real
Because I've tasted air
And it freed me
But its not free to me
And the more I think about it
The more I'm realizing
That the cost of breathing
Is my whole life
And I'm not sure
I'm willing to trade everything
Im not sure
I'm able to give everything
For a freedom
I'm not even sure
Is sticking around
Because it hasn't been addicting

Tell me whats real
Because I'm digging
Deeper and deeper down
Tell me whats real
Because I'm sinking
Deeper and deeper down
And I cant breath easily anymore
I'm freely suffocating myself
In a confinement of uncertainty
Where I'm certainly going to drown
If no one can tell me
Somebody
Tell me whats real
Because I cant keep guessing
And then confessing
For a blessing
Always testing and
Investing myself
In momentary highs
Because this isn't living
This is simply surviving
An unsatisfying life

Always searching
But never finding

Tell me whats real
Because I need to feel
Alive again

Tell me whats real
Because now its not enough
To just feel
I need to know
Tell me
Because I need to know
Whats real



                                        The End.

You
Are the comma,
In my life sentence
Of searching.

                  
                  The End.