I know what goes up, must come down.
I never knew that HelloPoetry had a trending section
Until I landed on it by dumb luck
Some late night poem that floated in my mind
I signed on here to push the release button
Got one like, then got an email stating I'm trending.

After I saw that, I never thought it would have been that short poem
I've written things on here that I thought were much better

As quickly as it touched it
It dropped off
I don't think that would be a high that I'll be chasing
I've sometimes checked the poems on that list
The subjects are all sorts
The fact that I touched that page, definitely is an early HP accomplishment.

I don't know the way my brain works
Why certain things come to my mind at certain times
But I do know that back in the 90s the first thing I ever wrote got me sent to the school psychiatrist.

Sometimes I like to share the things that are on my mind
Perhaps some of those things are far to deep or personal
I've always used my writing as a way to clear out the clutter inside my head.
To have the chance to say the things that I've never been able to say.

I started to take it seriously in 2002
I've been a one-man wrecking crew ever since
I'm sure I've taken paths and done things that many would have chosen the opposite

I've lost more friends through my writing than I can count
I guess those who claimed they'd ride and die to the end
They got off at the next bus stop

You would never see me the way I see me
You would never understand what was going through my mind, even if I tried to explain

I couldn't explain the way my mind works
Even if I wrote a thousand books

One moment my mind may be calm
The next it's like a washing machine
With ideas and emotions being spun at a high rate of speed

I try to reach out when I feel like you're in trouble, when you're in need
But little do you know, I've seen the reflection in your glasses
For how you've looked at me

You see me as Mr Hyde
You see me as Mr Hyde

I tried to show you otherwise, but from that I've learned
Where these words are coming from

You're taking words from those who are in your circle rather than what is happening right in front of you
You're taking words from those who are in your circle rather than what is happening right in front of you

But I've seen you try to sneak around behind my back
Changing up little things, not sure if you think I'd notice
Truth is, I've read your book from cover to cover and I've learned
The moment I bring something to light, you try to hide it that much more, and you'll start crying, claiming that I'm spying.

So I kept my mouth shut, let things unfold
Watched you continue to get sloppy
Laying out your plans right in front of me

You had a group of people telling you, that they would be here for you
But they only wanted you to spread your legs
Now that you need them, I bet those friends are nowhere in sight
That once large circle is now tiny

So you reached out to me looking for sympathy over your troubled times
Looking for sympathy over your troubled times

But don't you worry, I know that you'll drift away from my memory soon enough
You're only here to use me, so you can feel that you can gain something from this
This sounds like our whole relationship again all over again
This sounds like our whole relationship again all over again

It's kind of interesting that you see me as Mr Hyde and yet you keep returning

I'm not the one who changed
Yet you keep coming back like a boomerang
Guess what you're looking for, you can't find
So you're forcing yourself to put up with the one you are currently with
Knowing that I've made my intentions very clear that I have no interest in dating again
I have no interest in dating ever again

One day your messages will fall on deaf ears
A reply won't come from me, they'll just be deleted
I won't be reading them anymore

I may have reached out with the friendly hand
To show that I'll always be here
Truthfully, I know that it's like sticking my hand into shallow water
I can see everything
I know there is no danger, I know that you won't be reaching back to grab my hand, accepting the help that I would give.

If it was me going through those things
I wouldn't reach out to you
I know your mind frame is entirely about you, the only thing you care about.

You lost your Mom this past December
You lost your Dad today
I try to be nice and tell you I'm here for you

But I know deep down you would rather not hear from me
You wish that deep down that I would just go away
Maybe that's what the future holds for us

My silence and your peace of mind
If I knew you would have been like this from minute one
I would have kept you on ignore and not cared

Since I forgot, you think me being a nice guy is nothing but an act

The static is loud
It lives inside my head
It's louder than your voice or mine

Some call it overthinking
It feels like the overthinking is overthinking

No way to stop it
The brain wasn't built with an off switch
Sitting in silence can be a curse

Everywhere I look, I see, I hear about death
Or death causing circumstances
Death doesn't care if you're young or if you're old
It will take you, it's one thing that you don't have to apply for
It is one thing in life that is certain.

Some of us live longer than others
But that's not the case for everyone.
When someone older passes, it's always looked at as "they had a nice life"
When someone younger passes, it just hits differently.

Not even when it passes, but when they go through a health related matter that is often linked with it.

I've always had this notion that we all have a timer above each of us
Counting down, when it hits zero, your time is up.
You can't cheat it, you can't outrun it.

It will always find you, even if it needs help of the gravelings.
Your not always equipped with a tiny umbrella to save you from the falling piano.

In a world that nothing provides answers
That is where we sit
People tend to look towards the fictitious
They tend to look like there is some greater being

This thing is what guided me to a better life
I dedicate my life to this thing that I can't explain

There is no actual truth that this thing ever existed
There is no actual proof that life goes on beyond this moment of your breathing

Has your brain ever been in shock? it goes blank and you don't remember anything
Have you ever gone through depression
Your brain goes numb and at times turns to mush

You can use your beads
You can use your ropes
You can speak those things that people claim give you hope

But in a world where the frauds are coming out of the woodwork
Those who you have dubbed saints
Will later be revealed as sinners

You've already been lied to
You ***** churches and POW for those
Only for you to change to something different when you find something you dislike

Your in search of perfection
Perfection doesn't exist

You're in search of hope
When hope can be bought

Your in search of meaning
When meaning has a price tag

We are all in search for a cure
But a cure costs money

Nothing can help me
Nothing can help you

I see people putting so much faith in this God character
Saying nothing but good things about it
I don't want to say if this thing is man or woman, or something else
It could technically be either

Some say that it's a man
Others say that it's a woman
But what if it's something else, but it's written to look human so that you are accepting of said character

I don't understand how people can put so much faith into something like that

It's not that I didn't grow up with a religion
I was born into one, much similar to any of you
I just don't think that I'm blinded by that

Most of it seems kind of fictional
Like it's an episode of unsolved mysteries
Maybe it was created to keep us in check
I don't think it's working anymore