And it's bare clothed ******* with pebbled ******* tweaked too rough. Smooth skin bruised by calloused fingers and you remind yourself the fact that parts of you will leave black and blue. She's never been gentle, but neither have you. You like that she likes it to.

It's a head thrown back, scream in throat but sound long gone. She makes you forget how to speak, but you can still hear her heart break. Mussed sheets she never bothers to make, hair too messy to be saved. Your eyes are too heavy to see it anyway.

It's fast and easy. Hips pressed together in unsteady rhythm because you keep wondering what she sees in you.  Legs tangled in a sheen of sweat as you whisper sweet words to hide your lies. She stopped trying to hold your hand weeks ago.

It's pliant lips that taste too much like cherry wine and kisses crested along your hips. She marks you because she knows the truth, for now though you let her have you. Feelings so high, she steals her name from your lungs over and over and over . And it's always after that that you realize this isn't love.

But it's something.

And so you tell her you love her anyway.
*When what you mean is you'll **** her anyway.

She’s not you
Then again I don’t think anyone could be you
It’s different and it’s new
*And right now it hurts less to be with her than to bide my time waiting on you

You know what I haven't said in a long time?
I love you
...isn't that the saddest thing

I don't have a heart
I just have a hole of who I used to be
And what you made me to be

If I could go back in time I would
Because reality isn’t the dream I dreamt
And I realize without you this is a show with no end

Days we go questioning that in which we have done
And I can’t forgive the regret I have paid
The belittlement that you freely gave despite the pains we both made
I’m sorry won’t cut it this time

…I wish it would…

But the things we have said
Only opened the wounds in which we had stored away
We can hide them as we please with bandages and sleeves
But we can never pretend that they don’t still b
                                                             ­                        le
                                                            ­                              ed
If I could change time
I would wish for you and me
I’d meet you earlier, not afraid of what could be
I’d give you the stars and the hopes and the dreams that we believed
I’d give you my love
And for the first ******* time that would be enough
**** everyone who says otherwise

The two of us
The story of an endless love

If I could go back and change it all
I’d be your king
*Will you be my queen?

if I could give you the stars, i’d light up the sky so you’d never be alone again. painting pictures of a love story stronger than the end of time. we’re not the modern Romeo and Juliet; maybe some would rather call it Juliet and Jane.

not your average bedtime story, not the accepted fairytale. and it doesn’t make sense to me, nor does it really matter. anything they say can’t change me, because what I feel makes me stronger than I ever have before.

Yes, I’m nervous.

Yes, I’m going out of my **** mind with questions

is it right? is it wrong?

but I’m willing to try. cause for me and you, i'd fight a million and two. 

Sincerely,
Out of the closet

The moon has always been drawn to the stars
An inexplicable pull, the intoxicated sight of the light
The deafening silence of the smooth dark

How does it feel to pine after something we can never touch?
To be so close and know that it is never enough
To hold on to love is easy
We will always love the things we can’t have
It’s never as strong as the sorrow of missing you though
The empty space where I know you should be
Tucked into my side, watching the night  
As the stars explode and gases ignite
As the earth turns round and the planets align

And even if I know I could never have you
Even if these words never reach you
To the moon and back
I will always love you

These scars on my body
Engrained deeply into my skin, dark lines that can't pretend
People think that I let them define me
That these sad stories are my life
That I could never go on

But they're all wrong
These scars that I love
That are countless and plentiful
Those seen and those hidden

They don't define who I am
But they remind me of the person I can't be again

Atheist
It implies you don’t have faith
That you choose not to believe
But I have every confidence
I have every bit of honest and true belief
I just choose to turn my cheek
I’m not atheist

Despite the fact that I’d sometimes like to be

2:30AM* is for those who wake screaming
Those who lay with eyes wide open only thinking
That no one can hear them

2:30AM is for those who have lost hope
The insomniac who just choose to let go
Those so lonely that they teeter on decisions no one should know

2:30AM is those for those who try to put the pieces back together
The puzzles of their heart
Mismatched and out of place
Because all day you’ve hid how your puzzle continues to break

2:30AM are for those who are broken beyond repair
Too far gone to even care
They practice they’re smile
Put the stars in their eyes
Because tomorrow it’ll be time to put on show number 3,439
P.S it’s just one giant lie

2:30AM is not for those with their lives figured out
It’s for those people like me
Who feel as if they’re alone beyond belief
When really there’s an army out there who stand next to us in grief

...I hate *2:30AM

I can’t tell you how I feel
I can’t describe the emotions that build up inside
So I only do what I know is right
The black ink an endless sight
A spell enchanting us all
The anger and sorrow
The joy and elation
It feels like it’s never ending
There’s a beginning, but never an end
A promise of written word
That uncovers the hidden world
The beautiful morning horizons
The moon that slowly rises
The no one knows
And I love you’s
I’ll give you a poem
A rhyme
A letter
I’ll give you my entire life’s story
On a slip of paper
In between the lines of white
Because it’s the only way I know how to speak
My voice is mute
But I’ve found the pen can fix that to

They always told me to be afraid
of the monsters that lay under my bed.

Years and years I spent terrified,
too afraid to walk outside,
too afraid to live my life.

“Monsters! Monsters!” they told me,
Be afraid of the monsters!

They’ll watch as you teeter the edges of insanity,
they’ll laugh as you fall into the abyss of despair.
They’ll creep closer when you’ve stumbled to never get back up,
they’ll come to take you when you’ve finally lost all hope.

“Monster! Monsters!” they told me,
They’re everywhere!

I searched in the shadows,
I ripped through the closets,
I tore down the walls,
I looked under beds,
Yet never could I find the creatures that made my tears shed!

Where?
Where are the beasts of the night?
The ones that haunt me with their deviled flight!

And finally one day,
But only years and years later,
I finally understood.
After never knowing where my monsters lay,
I found I could see right through their big display.
Right in front of me screaming,
“Monsters! Monsters!” as they giggled and crowed
the terrible creatures had finally showed.
Ugly and foul,
smiling at me as they told me to be afraid.

There were never any monsters.
There was only just us.
It had always been just us.
And when I finally got up…
I smiled.

Then with them we walked to another young child.
All alone and afraid,
I sat down next to her whispering as soft as I could …

“Monsters! Monsters!” I said,
Everywhere there are monsters!

Laughing I saw the fear creep into her eyes.
I watched as the horror began,
and even as we crowed joyfully I yelled to her:

*…always be afraid of the monsters…

They fall dancing
Twisting and turning
Following the winter wind
I dance with them
The cold biting my skin
Tearing into the warmth of my body like a sickness
I can already feel myself slipping away
So I dance like no one is watching
If this is to be my final day
Then no one can take it away
Softly until the sun sets and the stars awake
Crystal slivers of white falling for my sake  
Don’t be sad when I go
Because I won’t really have gone
I’ll still be dancing
All day long in the white rain
The cold breeze whipping across the barren lands
Where only the traveling snowmen can see
So whenever you miss me
And you can’t remember who I was to be
Listen for the winter winds calling
Put on your coat and step outside into the white world
And I promise to wait there for an eternity
I'll wait for you to come dance with me

It’s funny how these things end
Love stories and happy endings
I’ve never been the sappy romantic
And from the beginning I could have never predicted
These feelings that have grown just for you
A place in my heart that beats uncontrollably
With a ferocity unmatched by any others
Already I know I’ve become the fool to be duped
Sometimes I get scared
Sometimes I get lonely
Sometimes I get confused
And then I remember the day you held me
And you said, “We’ll be okay”
I’ve watched you carry your burdens
You’ve seen me shoulder mine
We’ve not always been the closest of friends
No secret bond to share in the closet of skeletons
No fleeting glances that could be hidden
No secret love that has been written
We’re not Romeo and Juliet
But when you walk by I still find myself smiling
I tell myself I’m not meant to feel
Not like this
And not for you
So I have to lock my heart and thoughts away
To a place where no one may see my dismay
I tried to fight it
Tried to ignore it, pretend like you weren’t right there in front of me
Too afraid to voice my feelings
Too afraid to not be loved
Maybe one day though I’ll find the courage
To live with just being friends
Just talking could be a start
Laughing and joking
I could be okay
Never asking for more
Still I’ll always find myself hoping
In the shadows of the stars
That you’ll grab my hand and smile
Before leaning in to whisper
Will you be mine?