Hush darling you're almost dead
You don't have a pulse
And your pillows red
Your family hates you
Your friends let you bleed
Sleep tight with your knife
That's all you need

He bought me a ring today, I collect them you see.
I think it was like a promise, a token he wants to be with me.

Then he got me a knecklace a ruby red stone
Matches my dress for prom, no one will be left unshown.

Then

Then he bought the ring.

The ring you see? It was a large diamond surrounded by little ones. You should have seen my face filled with coyness

But how did you feel you ask?

Marvously joyous..

Your memory comes flooding in tonight
Like a punch in the gut
I spent the day actually happy
I can't help but feel guilty
How could I be so happy
When you could be here
It was your choice I know
I still can't help but feel guilty
You tried to warn me
Screaming
Begging me to save you from your own mind
Thoughts
Self hate
Yet,
I walked away
...
I should have known
I can't help but feel guilty
That you could still be here
I wouldn't have tried myself
That maybe we could have been
Anything then we are now
And I can't help but feel guilty

A sad six word poem you want to hear?
This is about how good as it's going to get..

"**** Yourself" they said.
She did.

When you see two people looking into each others eyes, not flirting, or creepy
Just looking
And you think, that is love.

When you see them with pressed foreheads together but with eyes closed
But not kissing
And you think, that is love.

When you see them smiling at each other
And holding hands and laughing
But not flirty
And you think, that is love.

And so I think, that is love.

She

cheated
  and falsely hoped..

She

cried
  and then she broke..


My tears were soft falling from my cheeks

They hit the ground like bullets


She realized what she could do without me

  I guess she saw something I just.. I couldn't see

I went down to the river,
I sat down on the bank.
I tried to think but couldn't,
So I jumped in and sank.

There's a difference between suicide
And the mind to empathize
Please just close your eyes
Imagine soaring through the soulless skies

I’m feeling sleepy

We snuck to your house every day between lunch

I snuck into your bedroom while you were using the lou

You had told me time and time not to go in there

But as I walked in, it was neat and a picture of you and I by your bed I had given you

A clown mask lay on the floor, I shivered, and assumed that’s why you had said no going in there

I felt your hands lower on my back

I said “I was just curious, I didn’t touch..”
But then you kissed my neck, and I melted into your warmth of your stomachs against my back

Your hands then crept up my shirt but just before you got to my breast, you whispered “it’s because I know I couldn’t control myself”

I turned and looked into your brown warm eyes as I grabbed your wrist and raised it to my breast as I watched your eyes beg me for more.

“I need gentle” and you grabbed me by the waist and said you wouldn’t have it any other way.

You pressed me into your blue checkered bedding

You traced my mouth with your tongue and it felt like poetry

I moaned and I watched as you were getting aroused and hard

I felt my hands up your shirt and tickling the scars I’ve kissed softly a hundred times before

You sat up and took off your shirt and resumed your hands to the bed aside me

But I felt them creep up my shirt as you made me moan with your kisses to my neck

I took my shirt off and watched your face as you admired my figure and then look me in the eyes adoringly

Once again, I melted

I pressed your hard groin against me and wrapped my legs around you

You grinded against me as we fiercely kissed as though we wouldn’t see each other again

I felt you pull away as you unclapsed my bra and

You started ******* my ******* and I twisted and played with your shirt soft brown hair

You licked around and around and I felt your arousal growing like my love for you
You licked and kissed down my stomach

I felt you looking at me as you were silently asking for permission

I ****** my hips towards you as a blessing

You slipped your fingertips in between my skin and the **** fabric separating us

I shuddered as you slid my pants down me with that sheepish smile

I watched you glance at me and back towards your true focus

My hands went straight to your hair as you began drawing the alphabet in between my legs with your tongue

I found my breathe quickening as you smirked into me

I couldn’t help but moan a slightly pubescent child moan when I finally hit my reaching point and you ate it up just like a child

My hands tracing all parts of you with my wandering fingertips as I’m begging you

You take your masterpiece and tease it against me as your are blowing hot air into my ear and I’m thrusting my hips begging you into me and you keep pulling away smiling and teasing

Until finally I give him a sheepish grin and he pressed into my slowly and groans

He begins to come in and out of me and I’ve never felt more safe and secure
He’s asking me if I’m okay and if he needs to go slower

And in return I push him into me harder
He thrusts harder and deeper
And harder
And deeper

And then he is laying beside me panting
And we kiss
And talk

About how he’s never been asked to go slow, but he likes it
And he’s glad he could do it with me
And how I’m his one and only

And he pulls me into him until we’re spooning in his blue checkered bedding

Skin to skin

While I stare at the picture of us in his bedside table and think

This is perfect.

That when I get to the edge
It’s your fault.
You won’t let me be
You won’t let me breathe
Or leave
Or do anything.

But now you know, when this all ends
It’s your fault.

Bandage her wrists
Paint on her face
Straighten her hair
Put her in place
Dress her in colour
Hide all her burns
Cover her bruises
And watch how she squirms

If you haven't noticed the scars on my thighs,
The laughs i've lied,
The way I just don't care,
The treatments of everyones snare,
Then don't you dare come to my grave and cry?

Because you can't love someone you don't know.

Right Here
Right Now

I'm still here thinking
..Still here drinking
Trying to drown away my pain
With literally nothing left to gain

Right Here
Right Now

I'm still sitting here
Still sippin' my beer
Wondering when I get to hold you
Wondering when I get to be happy too..

Right Here
Right Now

I'm still here
Wondering when I can go there
My skin i'm still pinching
Wondering can I be the one lynching..

Because
Right Here
Right Now

I. Want. To. Die.

Come touch me
Grasp me
Hold me
Kiss me
Hug me
Slap me
Kick me
Just please
Before I lose my sanity
Come touch me

Scars on your soul..
Scars on the skin..
Some are too deep..
Some are within..
Some have a story..
Some are unwritten..
Some you can see..
But some are hidden..

The moment you are about to quit

Is normally the moment near short of a miracle

As tears run down my face,
I realized I have made a mistake.
An utter suffocation,
I'm trying to hold on.
But the pain,
The pain's too strong.
The bloods running down my wrist,
My eyes are going shut.
But I'm trying to hold on,
But something is going very wrong.
I don't even know why I did it,
It started with a razor and a few little cuts.
But became addictive and I cut to much,
Now I'm laying on my bed.
Wishing I could just go back,
As the world disappears and everything goes black.

Here you were
Here you came
And a love song
Showed up someway

A broken mirror,
A bleeding fist,
A silver piece upon my wrist,
Tears fall down to lips unkissed,
Ignore me and I won't exist,
I'm not the kind to be missed.

Familiar faces
Turn into hatred

But what can a girl do
When you cheat on her too

What can you do when familiar faces
Turn into hatred?

I have a paper heart
In which you will forever part

But see

This stupid heart of mine is in a rut
I try to reach but it turns to paper cuts

People don’t need water to drown
You need someone to always put you down, but in that case, I’ll get you a crown

I do want you to know I tried
I even held a smile while I cried and cried

While I’m in my pain fill hut
My fingers get sore from all these paper cuts

Once upon a daylight rising, in a school, slowly despising,
On the test over sounds of tap tap taps of pencils by analyzing eyes--
While I was slowly dozing off, and I was gazing up at the clock,
As if my head was sounding, pounding a tick tick tock,
Tis some some test “I muttered,” tick tick tock
Oh this stubborn clock


I distinctly remember the days quite longer and our eyes no more stronger,
I sit while I ponder, ponder as my eyelids look to yonder--
While my eyes begin to close, the horrid sounds comes to impose,
My eyes drift to that clock as it sounds the same tick tick tock,
As it sounds the same tick tick tock
Oh this stubborn clock

Stupid us
Thinking we were in love

Stupid me
For thinking I was good enough.

Clean my windows,
Clean em' good
Clean them just like I know I should

Scrub my windows,
Scrub the red
Scrub away my tissue head

Dry my windows,
Dry them clean
Then just pretended you didn't **** me..

Why is that I like to be alone
But get sad when people don’t notice?

Some call it crazy
Some say it's sick
But I think it's freedom
The pain is like fire but quick
Some say that it's a sin
Just a little to much to risk
But it helps release the pain
That I go through every day
The blade is sharp and cold
As it runs across my skin
Leaving me to ponder
And decide how deep I cut in
The icy chill running down my spine
Makes me feel at ease
I no longer feel like a coward
******* up on everything with every breath I breathe
But some days I want to stop
Feeling like everything's wrong
Trying to let go of the blade
Sometimes I can.. but not for long
It's like I'm addicted to the pain
The feeling taking refuge in my veins
Leaving me feeling confused and alone
Wiping at the streaked tears that seem to be stained
Burned into my skin forever
Becoming a part that I cannot escape
Sometimes I just want to hurt all over
To scream at the top of my lungs until I break
I want to escape from my sadness
It's taking over me
Why can't I just rest
Why won't it let me be
I just want to be free

So I met this boy
And it’s like he puts color in my world

Can I just say he brings me joy?

So I met this boy
And it’s like someone finally gets me

Can I just say he makes me happy?

So I met this boy
And g-d **** he makes me shiver with ease

Can I just say he makes me smile?

So I met this boy
And I think I like him.

Millions** suffer everyday,
With depression anxiety addiction and compulsions
Therapy and drugs may calm the symptoms
But the root of the problems
Lie deep in one’s mind.

Suffocating each thought with torment and distress
A sick soul is what needs to be properly addressed
Take each thought captive and put it under arrest
Fill each negative thought with a positive
learn to rewire and undress.

Start with every second and watch how your thoughts will change
Bringing about better behaviors and complete healing to one’s brain
This plagues that so many have battled with for so long
Give it to God and change those old undertones

For we were born to live in great peace
Even if the world around us has constant grief
We are victorious when we start to believe His truth
Sever the ties to any trouble from your youth

No one escapes the tests in this life
But when we learn how to conquer
We can achieve all that’s ours
So start each day with a positive view
It never hurts to try something new.

I cannot do this.
No longer am I proud to be me.
Instead, I’m ashamed.
Once again, hello shame.

She sat alone
Alone at home
Where her screams were silent
And her mind was violent
Her issues were so deep inside
They did eventually eat her alive
A single tear ran down her face
As her heart began to race
She took her blade and tore her skin
Where her depression lied within
This went on for days, months, years
Until she cried her last tears
She decided she had enough
The world as you  knew is just too tough
She put the gun to her head
Congratulations society,
She is dead.

I have died when I stopped breathing

And the other was when you said my name for the last time

You
tell me
that
blades are
dangerous..

But
so are
my
thoughts.

I'm

so

tired

...

Cuts on the surface
Cuts in the vein
Cuts on the the wrists
Its all the same pain

You dare tell me I don’t know how it feels to be low?
I could have saved my best friends life.
I could have saved my own.
I could have helped my sister.
I could have seen my dad before it was too late.
I could have tried make amends and not get beaten.
I could have saved my brothers bruisises for another day.
I could have done so much more
But instead I am here filled with guilt.
So don’t you dare ******* tell me I don’t know how it feels.

I feel a lot better
When he’s holding my hand
Not my waist
Or by my belt band

But he treats me well
He treats me like a queen
I man I want to marry
A man I want to be

I knew a simple soldier boy
Who grinned at life in empty joy,
Slept soundly through the lonesome dark,
And whistled early with the lark.

In winter trenches, cowed and glum,
With lice and lack of ***,
He put a bullet through his brain.
No one spoke of him again.

You smug-faced crowds with kindling eye
Who cheer when soldier lads march by,
Sneak home and pray you'll never know
The hell where youth and laughter go.

Can I just say life is pretty ******..

Tied a noose around my neck as if I going to the ball
They shouted "Hurray"
Ignored my fall

I am not the problem.
My whole life was... IS a mess.
Continuously molested at 2-4 years old.
Taking care of her kids whom had become mine.
Making sure my mommy is not dead but passed out.
Babysat by my mom's multiple 'boyfriends'.
Taken to a new home full of yelling laughing older boys.
But I kept going!

At 5 I am welcomed into a great home where I finally open up to my grandma.
Spend a lot of time at their house and make cookies with my brothers and sisters.
Then I'm 8, getting older and finally growing into my ears.
But then my grandma has a brain tumor.
My world once again has come face to face with sadness.
But I keep going!

Then we decided to move to this big ole house out in the country.
I got my own cat and named him Garfield and I had so many friends.
And so did my parents..
Even my dad had a girl best friend, who had a husband
Who grabbed in between my legs when I was going to show him the house.
But you'll never going to guess what I am going to say.. I kept going.

Then at 15 I figured I wanted to know about my birth parents.
I sure did miss my dad, the only one who truly cared.
My adoptive parents were supportive but told me he wasn't my real father, he was the twins.
Torn.
My heart was torn.
Then they did even worse.
I was shown his obituary.
I struggled hard, but I kept going.

Still at 15 I started cutting,
I couldn't stop one night and there was blood everywhere.
I just didn't want to feel the pain.
But I knew it was wrong.
I got my mom, she took the razors.
I was put on meds.
I. Kept. Going.

At 16 I made close friends with a kid named Calen.
He was opinionated and strong headed.
He wasn't attractive but to me his thoughts were GOD.
He had never been kissed.
Last thing on his bucket list.
I checked it off, and he checked his life.
He killed himself two days after telling me not to forget him.

Still 16 I tried to **** myself.
I overdosed on over 400 pills.
I didn't even know what they were.
I didn't care what they were.
Because they were my way out.
He was my fault.
I ticked his last box, it was all my fault.
I tried to make it better but my little brother found me puking and my dad saw my ***** was right.
I was hospitalized and my meds were upped.
But I ******* kept going.

4 months later and I have downed my meds .
I am enlisting in the Navy.
The most important thing to realize in your life is, tragedies are not your fault.
They are the key.
Don't you realize other people have it worse?
I know it sounds harsh, but really if they can make it, I can make it.
You.
Yes you, can ******* make it.
Keep going.

visitation
funeral
friends talk behind your back
uncle gets in a fatal crash
visitation
funeral again
getting dumped
feelings of alone
school
pictures of "your" body floating around
laughing
names
brothers sick
worry
anxiety
all over depression

What kind of paradise am I looking for,
When I’m rich in love, and wealth I am poor?

My mind is so ******* empty,
But I remain to be one of the friendly,
Acting as if there is nothing wrong,
But, really my arms are my way to play this sad song.

Hurry up and tear me up,
I’m slowly waiting for death….yup.

It'll be my grandest work,
My painting on the wall,
They'll come from all over,
To see my final fall..

Everyday around quarter past three,
You burst into the bathroom searching for me,
I get hidden from your mother while you are away,
Hidden, unused for most of the day,
I feel your anger as your hand grips me tight,
I'm the one & only thing that helps you sleep at night,
I live to put scars upon your wrist,
I leave my mark I'm proud of this,
I watch as the beautiful red blood pattern drips,
And runs off the ends of your fingertips,
What possesses humans to act like this,
To scream, cry & cut their wrists,
But for now my job is clear,
The reason that I was brought here,
To relieve the pain,
To sit by the window and watch the rain,
Up until around quarter past three,
When you burst into the bathroom searching for me...

It’s been two years
Two Christmas’s
Two Birthdays
Two Horrid days

It’s been two years
Yet I can’t seem to let you go
Won’t it be a little nice to move on?
Don’t you think that’s something I deserve now?
To move on?
To be okay?
Well, roger that.
Kelsey, out.

Is anyone else tired
of getting yelled at
from your head
and everyone else?