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Kelsey May 2013
If I had the guts
I would end it all tonight

If I had the guts
This breath would be my last

If I had the guts
I'd die without a fight

If I had the guts
I would be a thing of the past

But I don't
And I won't
But I pray someday I can
End this sorry state I'm barely living in
Kelsey Sep 2012
I have come to believe all the things that I’m seeing
On magazines and TV, of every single perfect being
All the girls with perfect bodies, and such amazing skin
Oh how I would **** to live the life that they are in
I’ve been trying to lose weight over that past couple of weeks
Throwing up after meals, on the rare times that I eat
But that isn’t enough, I still need to do much more
To get this guy to notice me, people wonder what for...

There’s so much room in my tummy that it isn’t funny
I don’t wanna be people’s dummy, but either way I feel dumpy
Most of the time I am left here, thinking to myself
Oh god is this worth it, or do I need some help?

I’ve been used by guys, I’ve been hurt by girls
I’ve been hit by my mom, and cursed by the world
So I keep losing weight, just trying to be perfect
I’m waiting for somebody to tell me that I’m worth it....
Kelsey Oct 2012
Damask and Death
Velvet and Violence
Satin and Suffering
Organza and Oppression
Calico and Corpses
Paisley and Pain
Taffeta and Torture
Lace and Listlessness
Kelsey Sep 2012
She's a silent suicide dying inside...
Pain is the only thing that will guide...
A cry is like a knife...
And blood the chain of life...
Let it go until nothing is left...
And then she'll take her final breath...
Kelsey Sep 2012
God give me strength,
So I can lift myself up
And please god, please,
Never let me give up

I'm a soldier at heart,
I come up when I go down
I keep my head above water,
Because I refuse to drown
Kelsey Sep 2012
Do you think it’s possible for a heart to cry?
Do you think I could just turn the truth into a lie?
Do you believe to leave the past behind?
Do you believe you can see but still be blind?

Can you change one thing to another?
Can you make a person lose some other?
Can your heart scream before your lungs?
Can you sing but your words stay unsung?

Can you can laugh but feel no joy?
Can you can feel great but still destroy?
Do you know how to put on a mask?
Do you believe in a simple task?

Can you think but not know?
Can you say yes but still say no?
Can you speak but not say?
Can you be honest and still betray?
Kelsey Sep 2012
What I would do for just one kiss
A chance for yours to dance on my lips

To feel the passion
Feel the hope
Feel the strength in your ability to cope
You live for me baby
Everyday your sadness fades

Everytime I'm in your arms I feel
That this love
I know it's real
Kelsey Dec 2012
I simply write for the noise

To be beaten with ink, no flesh

Sinking by bright red wins or

The pupil’s last spin; I simply
Write to scream away these

Dreams and feel static around me

Rather than the colours of shining

Monsters that dance in these 

Clouds which can be so consuming.

I simply write, but it is not simple, 

For the reasons beyond it are unlike

And yet alike to all the words that

Flow through every fighting soul.
Kelsey May 2013
she sits up high
where no one can hear
the screams
escaping her wretched mouth
no body lends
an ear

if only someone would
hear
if only somebody would
help

maybe
she would feel okay

but until then she sits
screaming
until her lungs
give way
to a new life
a brighter tomorrow

maybe then
they will remember her
Kelsey May 2013
she sits up high
where no one can hear
the screams
escaping her wretched mouth
no body lends
an ear

if only someone would
hear
if only somebody would
help

maybe
she would feel okay

but until then she sits
screaming
until her lungs
give way
to a new life
a brighter tomorrow

maybe then
they will remember her
Kelsey Sep 2012
Fall down
Get back up

Cut her skin
Patch it up

Fray the strings
Tie them up

Enveloped in darkness
Never give up

People put up walls,
To keep others out

Never answering their calls,
Until its too late to find out

So open your mind,
Open your ears

Let out your souls,
And live out your years
Me
Kelsey Apr 2013
Me
Some are obsessed with
Laughter
Smiles
Kisses
And hugs
I'm obsessed with
Blood
Veins
Blades
And bruises
As twisted as it may be
That's what makes up most of me
Kelsey Sep 2012
She cuts where no one can see,
No happiness is the only weakness in me.
She hides the pain,
Although it's almost making her go insane.
She screams where no one can hear,
But it's almost to much to bear.

If you could only see,
Then you might know what it's like to be me.
If you could only feel,
Then you might see what she has to do to deal.
If you ever learned,
She knows you would be concerned.

She will never show you,
So you will never know what she goes through.
She will never let you in,
But she apologizes for her sins.
She will never speak a word about it,
Because then everyone will know she's a misfit.
Kelsey Oct 2012
Reach past the walls I seem to adorn

Look past the scars that I'm covered in

Find the soul that's buried so deep

Search for the shell of who I used to be

Love me
Want me
Need me

I don't ever want to let you go...
Kelsey Dec 2012
Beaten and broken
She whispers,
"Save me"
She's drowning in blood.
"Help me, help me"
She doesn't deserve to die.
One cut leads to hudreds.
Scratches become stitches.
Love becomes brutal hate.
The agony puts her in an insane state.
Pushed around, she's down on the ground.
Save her before she's dead.
But it's too late.
Her funeral is cold and black.
If only someone heard her scream.
Kelsey Sep 2012
Walking through the cloud and rain,
A fake smile upon her face to hide away the pain.
A silent tear escapes her eye,
She wishes she could just lay down and die.

She runs to her room and locks the door,
She looks into the mirror and doesn't recognize the girl looking back anymore.
She grabs a razor and cuts in deep,
With the warm read liquid running down her arm, she falls into a deep, deep sleep.

Awaking in a white bed,
She thinks her dream has come true and that she is finally dead.
Until a nurse walks in to check upon her dressing,
Her dream is crushed, and this has caused her stressing.

Her doctors have put her on medication,
Form her family and herself, this will consist of dedication.
And for the rest of her life, she must live mentally and physically scarred,
Never wanting to leave her own backyard.
Kelsey Sep 2012
Scarred wrists and dull knives
Welcome to my dull life,
Blood pouring down like rain
Trying to ease the pain,
No hope I can gain
I'm the only one to blame,
Lost without a name
What a ******* shame.
Kelsey Apr 2013
Smiling
              Breathing
                                 Eying
                                             *******
                                                              *******    
                                                Lying
                               Crying
              Choking
Dying
Kelsey Mar 2013
Pretty little pills
Orange, red and blue
Spilling through my fingertips
I took 12, not just 2

Daddy always told me
To be all I could be
Now my goods just not enough
It's done

They won't have to worry about me.
Kelsey Sep 2012
What good is a life, is a life without living?
A body hollowed out, from her constant giving
No one ever cared, no one ever listened,
So tonight tears run down her face and her eyes glisten
She holds the gun to her head, just waiting to pull the trigger
Hoping to erase the past, and find a purpose bigger


Her finger flexes,
And the bullet shoots out of the barrel,
Blood splatters her porcelain skin,
A hit,
Forever fatal


What good is a life, a life without living? 
A body hollowed out, from her constant giving
Kelsey Sep 2012
Hollow pain
Tired eyes
Weak limbs
Yourself you despise

Cold heart
Numb body
No feeling
Constant worry

This is what happens, when depression takes hold,
You just want it end
As your spirit grows cold...

Can I tell you something though?
It's something I have learned...
A person that reaches out to help,
Is an angel who's wings they have earned...


They want to make you better,
They love to see you smile...


Sometimes it just helps,
Knowing they go the extra mile
Kelsey Apr 2013
Such a twisted game we play
One moment of bliss
For a thousand more of pain
What do we get from this labyrinth of suffering?
Death
It's the only thing we're promised
Kelsey Nov 2012
With hearts for dancing we'll take leave of war,
Watch the bodies fall as they hit the floor

And death it is; yet money talks,
Replaying the sounds of the smoking glocks

It is not the living, who make the longest demands; we die forever,
The body count rises at every change of the weather

When will people realize,
They're playing into their own demise
Kelsey Sep 2012
Here I lie,
Wishing I could die
If only I could find a way,
But I'd hate to throw it all away
The only thing keeping me here,

Is you my dear.
Kelsey Sep 2012
Depression is a state of mind,
But remember my dear
It is a crime...

To cut the throat of a beloved soul,
And **** the life from within the hole
Cross out the lies that left your lips,
And drink the blood with thirsty sips
Snap her bones into shattered glass,
Hold your breath until the screaming pass
Shout her name from miles away,
He doesn't move he doesn't stay....

Rip the wound with foolish tears,
And cover the scar with dreaded fears
Taste the pain on your own bandaged tongue,
And drip the tears into her precious lungs
Shoot the smile from her face,
And bring her to a forbidden place
Screaming, she runs away,
He doesn't move he doesn't stay....
Kelsey Oct 2012
People these days
You don't know how to act

You follow the trends
And fill in things you lack

You'll be their best friend
But then stab them in the back

In our black sentence and prescriptions
You dance to your death

Playing around with things
Like acid and ****

With your gay canters
And chemical glee

With your low crooked curtsies
And your ignorant flee

You'll
Turn
Out
Like
Me
Kelsey Oct 2012
The weeds are green, the sky is shining
But it’ll soon be night which is nicer
But then cracks peel back and hell bends the room
And the devil gestures to you
He wants to know if you’re going down or up
Easy - I know what my speech should be
I want to go to heaven for the weather
But hell for the company
I want to go to heaven for the weather
But hell seems like fun to me
The devil beams a big beaming grin
The sort which leads you up the streets of sin
He holds up paperwork - sign the line
Let’s clash with madmen, grime is fine
Let’s ride the valkyrie, commit a bit of sin
Turn rock to rubble, punch me in the chin
Then you’re destined for the world without chores and sweating -
The eternal hell of boredom in heaven
You tell the devil in no uncertain terms
You’ll never be evil, you’ll never be turned  
When left to devices some humans try ****
We’re just normal people exploring our minds
We don’t go around here putting poison in wine
But we enjoy what we like which is not always right
People are intricate, people aren’t swines
Let’s ***** the rules up and rely on our minds
Sign on the line
You sign on the line
He clutches the wine and tips it in cyonide

I want to go to heaven for the weather
But hell for the company
I want to go to heaven for the weather
But hell seems like fun to me

— The End —