When I was a little girl, I wanted to be a veterinarian in Australia.
It wasn't long until I realized I was horrible at science.
Then, I wanted to be a ballerina and twirl around just like the girl in my music box.
I then discovered that gravity had too much of a pull on me. The only twirling I did was face first towards the ground.
So what would my new dream be?
A carpenter?
A garbage person?
...a baker?
An actor? Yes. An actor.
...
Someone once told me, "if you have a fall back plan, you'll always fall back on it."
But I'm starting to believe what they said is true.
...
Your dreams are what you use to tuck yourself in at night after you've spent your entire day living in "the real world" surrounded by people who have lost the ability to dream.
...
But it's hard to know which dreams are yours when everyone is telling you what you should be.
...
Someone whispering, "you'll be unhappy. You only think this is what you want. Be a doctor. Or be a lawyer."
What if you fail?
What if you fail?
What if you fail?
What if you fail?
What if you fail?
What if I don't?
...
I started caring more about how many figures I would make a year and less about how many sounds I could put in my times step.
More about what would make me more marketable to be hired and less about How much of my vocal range I could showcase in 16 bars.
These are the dreams I have lost.
These are the dreams I have traded.
I have traded my dandelion wishes and my butterfly kisses for nothing more than a nine to five job.
And I have traded my wish upon a star and my Neverland for a house in the suburbs where everyone shares the same dream.
I became so consumed with fitting myself into this box that I forgot how big the box could be.
It doesn't matter WHAT you're supposed to be. It matters who you were MEANT to be.
...
When I was this high...
I no longer had a star in my night sky to wish upon.
I no longer had a million dandelion wishes.
Only a million weeds.
....
Someone once told me, "if you have a fall back plan..."
I won't trade my fairytales, childhood wishes, butterfly kisses, and dreams for everything else.
I will trade everything else for the chance to dream.

You wish you could grab  the hands on the clock and turn them back so fast.
You feel the pain in your heart and see the hurt in your eyes.
But not one soul seems to notice your pain.
No one  knows that you're keeping yourself together with tape and glue.
Closing your eyes so tight so not one tear can squeeze its way between the floodgates of your eyes.
Always giving away parts of yourself and never getting them back.
Always moving, always going and never having time to think about yourself.
Wishing you could show all those who've past what you've done and who you've become.
Your life is the never ending cycle of pain and you wish you could give it all away.
But you can't.
So for now all you have is tape and glue.

I cannot fathom my life without you.
You are the stars in my night sky and the rays of sun seeping in through my bedroom window.
You are the sun and I am the Earth as I am constantly orbiting around you just to feel your warmth
Your laugh paints a beautiful sunset of  pink, orange and yellow.
And when I think back on our chilly fall nights, I laugh, because you were too stubborn to wear my jacket.
And when I hear my words replaying in my mind again and again like a broken record, I cry, as I hear myself say:
I have to let you go
I have to let you go