Growing up being told you're smart,
Making straight A's,
Hitting those marks;
You started to believe you were something great.

The truth is,
Tens of thousands of valedictorians graduate every year.
Most don't change the world
In the way you wanted to.
Some become parents,
Work those 9 to 5 jobs;
Too busy living a typical life,
Not studying or traveling abroad.

You thought you were different.
Now can't you see?
To **** the marrow out of life
Is to live privately,
And the attention you seek
Will come from friends and lovers locally.

I find the perfect pair of shoes,
Work hard,
Earn the money
To buy them,
So I can run around in them
And fall on my face.

I'm running,
Panting,
Arms pumping hard.
I don't know where I'm sprinting to,
But I know what I'm running from.

You're the most complicated problem
I've ever tried to solve.
You're the best at hide-and-seek
And somehow I've hidden you
Under piles of rhetoric
Religiosity,
Philosophy,
Science,
Shame.

Tell me I'm Yours.
Help me feel like I don't have to be sorry,
Like you've already forgiven me
Before my heart begins to sink.

I can't love the way I want to love You
Until I accept the love You have for me.
I'm tired of pushing it away,
Of pushing You away.

Laughter,
Chuckles,
Spinning rooms,
Controlled words
Mixed with loosened tunes.

Spin me,
Kiss me,
Ignite my night.
I'm studying
Yet fun arrives.

I found our letters.
Every word stung,
And I am so sorry for the promises
We didn't keep.

But I'm not sorry for who we are now,
How our current lives have to be.
I loved you,
But Love is more dear to me,
And God is directing me differently.

I'm running through the door
To your meadow.
Tall grass of green
Sprinkled with yellow.
My feet sink in soil so soft.

I'm crossing over the white picket fence
To your ocean.
Oysters with life.
My tears add to salt water.

Just let me be.
Let me finish this cup.
Watch me spin around the room
With my girls
And laugh it up.

Steal no more kisses.
I'm human not lonely.
Stop trying and prying.
I'm a woman
Who knows what I've wanted.

My plans change
'Cause I'm thinking beyond today.
Life gets better and better,
But when I've said a firm "No",
I don't switch like the weather.

My eyes crinkle
On their own accord.
My lips curl
Forming every word.
I promise that they mean no more.