Kelly Holmes

Kelly Holmes Jan 2013

Untitled

death is dying, I see you smiling
like it's the last day on earth for you
what a beautiful world, filled with filth
perfect day to live and die
beside the bonfire after getting high

you try the next day, they send you away
people see the real you
but don't console you
I see you, staring
into nothingness and I feel sad
for your eyes were always bright
like you could see something amazing
no-one else could, comprehend
stuffed you with pills
just to "save" your life

Kelly Holmes Jan 2013

word *****

you’re here so i’ll ramble on to you

repeat the words again with someone new

share and overshare

your life and it’s a record

cause you’re like a record

and i love my records

but i’m getting sick of me

lately, can’t do what i want

but what is it that i want?

Kelly Holmes Jan 2013

drifting in and out

Why was I happy yesterday?
that I can't remember
my sadness consumes me
she calls to me often
my smile is gone
my eyelids are heavy
with a weary look
faraway, I look
no-one is here for me
but still, I look

Kelly Holmes Jan 2013

human

is depression just the human condition

made to be by the huge corporations

money gone, empty wallets today

our bank accounts show negatively the work we do, the bills we pay

we keep living under the sheets feeling nothing

sleepless nights then baggy eyes

that smile you once had is long gone

walking apocalypse

you wake and you're hungry for more than this world can offer

but that was just one day out of 365

it’s all downhill from there

those fleeting moments of hope and happiness

fill you with warmth and you feel less dead

but hold on,

you’ll see (i hope)

the light and dark come together beautifully

Kelly Holmes Jan 2013

best friends for never

Do you feel me slipping away?
I've started to stop caring
they say "no expectations, no disappointment"
that's what I'm going for
though, I still hope for little things
that you don't think twice about
this new years eve
i've gone without questions of your whereabouts, cause i'll just be sad that i'm not even thought about in the making of these plans
i've stopped revolving part of my life around you, like you did long ago and now i feel better in some ways but more sad in others
i'm always alone
no happy new year,
no nothing

not edited or finished.

Kelly Holmes Dec 2012

down days

depression is not something beautiful
you would know if you knew
from someone close to you
maybe even first hand
you don't bother with things
they don't matter, nothing does
getting so close in your mindset
ready to go, to be with the earth but not of it
you don't bother with a smile when your home
the mess doesn't matter
the stains on your clothes from food that you spilled
again, don't matter
nothing does
in this moment in time
nothing matters
at all

Kelly Holmes Dec 2012

life currently

not enough sleep

just drink more coffee

all jittery and hyped

for nothing

just working the days away

for a future i’m unsure of

do i even want to live it

i try to be optimistic

so i’ll keep saving

—just so worried and anxious

awaiting the answer of your approval

of life and learning

of the past and future

cheers to you and me

for all the times we've gotten back up

just to be pushed down

underwater, scathed by fire

scabs healing and urges in our fingertips

our minds the same

but trying not to be

we don’t know what this is

it just is

just let it be

and climb the mountain

huffing and puffing

the metapohorical life cliff