dream away my unwilling friend
for love so deep
you're dying to see
the bed and sheets
your curled toes
moaning with urgency
whispering i love you's
because you never know when death is near
the end could be tomorrow

I hope I never have that dream
where I dip deepest into my being
and abandon everything
and all is well,
affecting inward,
rippling out
taking hearts head first
with no explanation
maybe a long list about life itself
they'll shake their heads
say adieu
goodbye my daughter
we didn't want to believe this was coming

I pretend like I've lived a life
like everyone else
instead of spending days laying in bed
thinking of death and dying
I tell these "white lies" and nod,
in these coversations
I am not me
I'm just listening
pretending to be normal
I am not, I feel I've barely lived
Maybe in books and movies
but not mine
not these past three years
oh dear, I can't bear to think what you would think
if I actually said everything honestly
and didn't just go along.

I don't want to be running all my life
towards the bad and get stopped in my path
to travel on the known road where everyone goes
we all think we're poets
while I watch you take a drag off your cigarette
imagining the smoke traveling in your lungs to klls you automatically like a posion
that has never been known
i just created it, what a power that would be
a trip to another world
spices range from scents of citrus to
the smell of patchouli touching your soul
and drowning you deeper
I yearn so much for this but when I get it
I go down, far down

gliding through the wicked world
with a flower in sight
and the breeze blowing past
you walk on by
i hear you laugh
see your sweet smile