He has been seeing someone
else
I asked and only lying cards were dealt.

With my heart broken, deflated in my
chest
I begin to wonder if I should lay myself to rest.

I watch my life now, through an old whiskey
bottle
drinking till I find hope at the bottom.

Turning it up so the liquid coats my
pain
My eyes roll back as it flows through my veins.

The taste of my emotions leave my mouth
dry
I turn the bottle back higher in the sky.

Tears leak from my poisoned
eyes
as slowly all memories begin to die.

More tears than that from a broken
heart
tears for my life, and my time to depart.

I let all my demons fill my
insides
with an ear-pierceing laugh as I plan my demise.

Will my mother cry when she gets the
call
or solemnly explain "She caused her fall."?

Will my father sob when he sees the
headstone
"The one that lies here died all alone"?

Will my sister crumble down to the
floor
or stand tall and whisper "She chose that door"?

Will he see me and remember the love he
ignored
or walk on by as I gasp on the floor?

Will I miss this cold air I
inhale
or realize I'd rather been buried pale?

Will I miss myself, and the one I've grown to
hate
or discover premature death was my fate?

I have made my choice, the one that changes it
all
to step away from the edge and refuse the fall.

But this smile can stay on my face no
longer
while I sit here weak and my demons grow stronger.

With the taste of whiskey stll in my
mouth
the choice I made I begin to doubt.

I hold the gun against my
head
and think of what's to become when I'm dead.

I hear someone open the
door
and off goes the gun as I fall to the floor.

Man is not worried in the middle

Man in the Middle
Is not Worried
He knows his Karma
Is not buried

But his Karma,
Unknown to him,
May end -

Which is Nirvana

Wild Men
Who ****
Have Karmas
Of ill

Good Men
Who Love
Have Karmas
Of dove

Snakes are Poor Denizens of Hell
Have come surreptitioning
Through the tall grass
To face the pool of clear frogs

She was crippled
Lost in her thoughts
As pieces of her life shattered around her
She was caved in
The room began to spin
Everything raised
As what was left of her hope began to fade away
Spinning, and shifting; no escape
Never let loose for a breath of fresh air
But caught in despair she drops the razor
Flushes the pills
Drains the alcohol
But grabs the knife, and gets rid of what's left.

My secret thoughts reside
in the backyard of my existence
where darkness cries out in shivers
clear to my bones.  
I wake up to find them
packed neatly on shelves in my mind
and wish I could just crawl away,
be left alone.

They come from my emotions,
dressed in sadness
with no intention of ever  comforting
what they transform.
There are days
when they make a decision
to rearrange the places I stand
until I am left without hope,
forlorn.

My secret thoughts are the lyrics of my being
which bid my heart
to walk on a white canvas
of the purest snow.
Oh the damage
that could be done
if I spoke them aloud,
my true feelings revealed
with these eyes full of woe.

I cannot bend or I'll break
so I hide on these shelves
in my mind,
packed neatly away
from all that challenges
my tree of life,
such as falling leaves.
My secret thoughts control
how my tongue refrains
from speech,
So my true feelings,
you will.....
never see.

Before guns wore make-up,
We used to put pennies in our socks
So we’d always walk on the root of all evil.

Now Wall Street angels frolic through satellite clouds borrowed
from youths educated by universities of smoke and plastic bags.
                  
(The tears of a child are homage to the waning gods)
For in a day not far away,
Over the painted moon of the Morning Son,
The sun will rise wearing the finest war scars money can buy.

And the screams of humanity will be heard from Venus,
Forgetting that the reciprocal of   L-I-V-E   itself  is     E-V-I-L
And perhaps death is the life meant to be lived.